Beyond 40 weeks « Back to Group Discussions

[wildmansmom]

Anyone else passed the "due date"?

DH asked me last night "What good are due dates anyway?" You'd think he would know, this being our second, that due dates aren't that important but everyone seems to behave like they run the show.  I'd much rather have a due "month."  I've been trying to tell everyone from the beginning that I'm due "in March" but they seem to want a specific date.

My due date was 3/7, I'm now 4 days beyond that... I'm thinking it might be a little longer still and I'm trying very hard to enjoy these last days and just be patient for baby's arrival.  I know she will come when ready, but it's hard when people say "OH! When are you due?" And you have to say "3 days ago..."

[storygirlcindy]

I'm annoyed about my due date and I haven't even hit it yet (this Saturday). I have seriously already had 3 people this weekend ask me if I have an induction date scheduled yet. Ummm.... no??? For various health reasons it may come to that if we go too much over, but geez - I'm not even 40 weeks yet! I told my husband next time we are not telling anyone our due date AND I'm going to make it sound like it's later than it is, LOL.

I'm also really sick of one particular sister-in-law texting me every 3 days and asking if I am "progressing," by which she means am I dilating any further. I haven't been checked in weeks so I have no idea, and who cares anyway??? It's not like it has any bearing on anything! This SIL is about my size (5'2 and 120-125 pre-pregnancy, so petite) and also had big babies, and was induced with her first way before her body was ready so ended up in c-sections with both her kids because the babies were "too big" and so she was failing to progress. She's been telling me for years that I'll be the same way because "of course small women can't have big babies." It makes me crazy!

Good luck!

[wildmansmom]

Originally Posted by storygirlcindy 
She's been telling me for years that I'll be the same way because "of course small women can't have big babies." It makes me crazy!

Good luck!

I'm 5'4" and about 120 pre-pregnancy and I managed to push out a 9lb 5oz baby!  You can do it too!  The difference with me is that I was semi-induced after my labor stalled at 41.5 weeks. I'm glad I didn't agree to an induction at 40-41 weeks like my OB was suggesting!

[storygirlcindy]

Oh, I know! That's what makes me crazy. Birthing big babies is TOTALLY possible. At this point, I think I'm at a much larger risk for a c-section because my baby is malpositioned (despite literally months of doing everything I can to spin her) than because she's big. And if it comes to that, then I can deal with that (although it would only be a last resort) - because my contractions started so early (timeable for 3 months now), I honestly suspect that her malpositioning might actually have been part of what kept her from coming way too early. But this SIL and her husband are very "the doctor is God" sort of people, which I am most assuredly not. They never tried for a VBAC with baby #2, because they wanted a specific doctor to deliver the baby and so they wanted to be able to schedule the repeat CS. 

As for the induction thing - yeah, unless anything changes, I wouldn't agree to an induction til after 41 weeks most likely. It's the state I live in (Utah), though. I don't know WHAT it is but there is a huge induction culture here. NOBODY goes over their due date, and you can get an elective induction at 39 weeks if your OB agrees to it. At 32 weeks I was handed a packet of info about how to set up an elective induction when the time came! I have a genetic disease in which pregnancy can be very dangerous, and most OBs will induce between 37-39 weeks routinely, and I've spent this whole pregnancy really being firm about the fact that I didn't want a routine 39 week induction if there wasn't medical indication. There hasn't been, and all of my OBs have been so impressed by how well I've done that they've agreed to let me keep going. Just makes me a little bonkers that everyone around here assumes that because I am now at 39 weeks I must already have an induction day set!

[spughy]

Whatever!  I'm 5'0" and my first baby was nearly 9 lbs.  I pushed her out in 45 minutes WITH her arm over her head.  Tell your SIL to suck it up princess, being small doesn't excuse you from the hard stuff. (Okay maybe more diplomatically.  I'm feeling cranky today.)  Also I have a friend from my first DDC who is barely taller than me (maybe a few inches) and her FIRST baby was over 12 lbs.  Born at home without any trauma or fun stories at all.  So pbbbbtttttt to that.  "I'm too small" is a crap excuse.  I know of lots of big women who've had problems with getting their babies out, too.  It's much more about body alignment and what we do to ourselves BEFORE we have babies than it is about general size.  If your SIL wore high heels and worked a desk job for ten years before she had babies, then I'd totally buy that as a reason why a vaginal birth wasn't so possible for her. (I might have done that too, a little bit, and it would explain why it was so damned HARD.)  But admittedly "I made poor fashion choices" doesn't sound as... valid, shall we say, as "too small".

I don't WANT to go over 40 weeks but it's completely due to my lack of patience and grace, not any fears over big babies or whatever.  Because of my age there is going to be SOME degree of concern with going massively post-dates but if I chose and if I was okay with twice-weekly NSTs I could probably coast along past 42 without anyone having a wobbly.  

[wildmansmom]

Spughy - you always make me laugh!  I thought you were close? 

[SlimP]

I'm 3 days over according to my charting, and 11 according to my hospital ultrasound....dang I knew that was going to get me in the end.

I'm in tomorrow for a fluid scan, which is why I ended up being induced with DS, as they diagnosed oligohydramnios with him at the same stage. Now I'm chugging back water and going to have a bath later to boost whatever fluids I have but this will only get me another 2 days grace at best. I may have to succumb to a sweep, uurgh, to avoid a chemical induction on Thursday.

Besides fleeing AMA, I can't really get more time, annoying as this is. However, we've had blizzards on and off all day, so there's a very real chance I won't make it to the hospital in the morning (an hours drive away). DH and I have been joking I'll get the unassisted birth I wanted.....................

Holy mackeral, I'm going to have this baby by the week-end for chizzle dizzle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[spughy]

I'm juuuust about 39 weeks.  I am by my count but Wed is my official week-change day (going by LMP).  So officially I am 38 +5 but I know I ovulated a few days early - I just see no reason to let HCPs know about that.  My DD was born at 40+6 which is a little under the average of 40+10 for first-time babies, but my family history is all about the late late babies so I'm prepared for that. 

Oh who am I kidding. I don't want a late late baby.  I want this baby out NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!! 

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by spughy 

I'm juuuust about 39 weeks.  I am by my count but Wed is my official week-change day (going by LMP).  So officially I am 38 +5 but I know I ovulated a few days early - I just see no reason to let HCPs know about that.  My DD was born at 40+6 which is a little under the average of 40+10 for first-time babies, but my family history is all about the late late babies so I'm prepared for that. 

Oh who am I kidding. I don't want a late late baby.  I want this baby out NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!! 

haha.  :)   Love you, Spughy!  You're my due date buddy... also 38.5.   I think I'm definitely in the minority here... I don't want this baby to come out!  I still feel like I have so much to do before I feel "ready."  She is pretty well behaved in-utero... hoping for another week or even two of being pregnant!

[spughy]

Chapsie what are the odds, statistically, that two women with the same due date would give birth on the same day?   If we could pull that off, we should go buy lottery tickets.  Because, um, that's *totally* how statistics works...

[eternalw]

Originally Posted by wildmansmom 

I'm 5'4" and about 120 pre-pregnancy and I managed to push out a 9lb 5oz baby!  You can do it too!  The difference with me is that I was semi-induced after my labor stalled at 41.5 weeks. I'm glad I didn't agree to an induction at 40-41 weeks like my OB was suggesting!

Yep. 5'2" here 130 ish and I have had 10 1/2" pound babies. Most of mine are 24" long or close to.

[wildmansmom]

Slim - excited that you'll have a baby soon but sorry about the circumstance.  Low fluid is such an overused reason to induce.  I think I'm feeling so much pressure because I go in for a scan on Wednesday and I'm worried that they are going to "find something" and start talking induction. 

With DS I was 40w +10 days (perfectly average for a FTM) based on my chart but only 40+6 days based on LMP.  This time around I think I'm a few days behind based on charting and an early u/s so if I go the average this time around I should be giving birth about Wednesday... the same day as my scan.... (which also happens to be 40+6 days based on LMP)

[CalmCenter]

41 weeks today. feeling so irritable. yes i have gotten 10 texts (from 10 different people) in the last 2 days asking how I'm doing... i appreciate the support, but wonder too why folks wouldn't just wait to hear. i was feeling so good from 37 weeks to 40 weeks, and the last week has been like, wah! patience, patience!!!

[wildmansmom]

I got 2 texts and 3 in person questions this morning - between 7:45 and 8:15!!! 

Nope! Still pregnant... and not even to 41 weeks.... Can I just go home and crawl under the covers and hide?

[scruffy too]

I accidental let my cell phone die last night and a friend texted confirming our lunch plans for today (which of course I didn't get), then texted this am (while it was charging).  As soon as my poor phone was charged enough to show me messages, the last one from her was something to the effect: I guess you're in labour, good luck :) ;)  

I'm 39+2, so I guess it's to be expected.  But I quickly responded that we're still on for lunch and I'll be coming solo. 

I haven't been telling people my due date, just saying "end of March" but I recently found out that DP has, so I told him that if a SINGLE person calls / texts / emails on or about the 17th, I'd kill him.  He was like, "oh, I thought we were telling people now."  I explained that it's more important NOW than before to be vague...  Part of it is me being an introvert and not wanting any extra attention around my due date, the other part of me just believes it's no one's business!!

[chocolatechip]

My grandparents seem to think I only have "a week or two" left, even though I'm only 37.5. I think they're going to be the most antsy ones. Other people have been checking in, though, not so much "is the baby here?" but more like, "I think you're getting close - good luck with the home stretch!" I've mostly told people we're due at the end of March, and expecting an April baby. We'll see how that actually works out. You would kind of think that in the world of Facebook and email and texting and whatever, that people wouldn't be so worried that they'd missed hearing about a new baby! 

[Bena]

I'm loving this thread!  So funny!

My MIL is driving me a little batty right now...she is convinced that the baby is coming this week (I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow).  But yesterday she made a comment which made me realise it's not that she thinks the baby will come soon, it's that she wants this baby to come this week because she wants to see him before they leave for Sweden.  Yup, they planned a 2 week trip to Sweden to visit some family, leaving on my due date, knowing it was my due date, and now she is pushing for me to have this baby now, before she leaves, because she really wants to see him before she leaves. 

I don't get it....how can she not get that that is not how things work???
 

[chocolatechip]

Hah, yeah, that's some poor trip planning, if they really wanted to be around to see the baby when it first arrives! And baby's not waiting on *their* timetable, that's for sure!

[sunshinelove]

Uggh, Bena, that is so rude and annoying . You should tell her that your baby couldnt care less about her travel plans...that'll probably make her shut up.

Chapsie & spughy--we're all due the same day--wouldnt it be a trip if we all gave birth the same day?? The odds are pretty slim but if the due date thing was actually accurate then there should be a high probability. It makes me roll my eyes and groan inwardly. People who bug pregnant people about their due date should wake up and smell the coffee--they.are.not.accurate. I'm feeling a little crabby today lol.

[SlimP]

Grrr, the pressure from family and friends is beginning to get to me too.
Like you Scruffy, I was a bit loose with dates, knowing there was a discrepancy of a week between the hospital u/s and my chart but didn't realise DS was telling people that! Of course, they're all going with the u/s, even my family......My MIL asked if we wanted to take the baby carseat to a check-up today!!! Yes, there was a slim chance an induction would be advised if my waters were low but c'mon. She is being v helpful though looking after DS. That is v untimely planning for your in-laws trip, Bena!
Luckily, my water level is great and I get 2 days reprieve before there's a little more pressure to hurry things up...... family and friends are definitely more pushy than my medical care team at the moment.