Weekly Chat 3/11 - 3/17 - Page 3
hello! Just popping in after being away for a while. It's nice to catch up on your pregnancies, ladies! I am 8 weeks 5 days and wowee..this is totally different than my first pregnancy. My first was brutal with constant vomiting/heartburn/indigestion. This time around I am hit hard with many new things, such as major fatigue, very sore nipples with breastfeeding, gaining weight fast and being nauseous on and off. I prefer all of this to the constant vomiting, but it is also not very pleasant!
I have been sad lately after my Midwife told me she can't take me on as a patient for another homebirth. We even planned conception so baby will be due in a good month for traveling before winter. Sadly, I wont have another homebirth and have to result in a hospital that is fortunately natural birth friendly, but also pretty far. I do not want to drive while in labor and am sad about it. I am just sad all around with this pregnancy since I can't have my homebirth. I feel I wont be as strong on a hospital..my first birth was very hard (I even passed out), but because I was at home without restrictions I birthed her naturally. I don't know what will happen next time around and I will have a Doula to support us for sure.
I am hoping to get in an early ultrasound next week with my first appointment to see if we're having twins. I have a high chance of twins and all of this fatigue is making me wonder!
Hope all you ladies are feeling good today.
... my MIL has just been given 9 months to live after a terrible chemo experience. This has been a long cancer battle resulting in her leg being amputated a few years ago, but the whole family is in shock at the news.
Just last week she decided to remind me that she doesn't like or respect me, and was quite cruel towards me and my pregnancy, in particular that I had to do IVF and the risks of downs due to my age - in front of DH for the first time ever.. Long story, but this isn't the first time she's taken the opportunity to tell me how she really feels right before a procedure. Last year was right before our wedding, which i ended up cancelling, and we eloped in Bali because of it.
Anyway.. now I am in an awful position of trying to offer support to DH, while he now knows she can't stand me, doesn't wish me well in pregnancy and is not the lovely mum he thought she was. That was a horrible thing for him to hear from his mum - made me feel better at the time, so he knows I wasn't exaggerating about her, but now I wish he hadn't.
I've sent him to his dad's with his siblings so they can be closer to the hospital and can all stay informed together. ATM she is delirious after the chemo entered her brain, but she may come out of this and I don't want to leave DH dealing with probably daily hospital visits without me, but I also know I will be less than welcome by her.
For 4 years she has treated me as an uninvited guest so I can safely assume I will be just as much of an intrusion now. Just for the record, I was always lovely (to her face), despite everything.
How on earth do I get through this ?? Any advice will be hugely appreciated!! I really want to give him all the support I can without encroaching where I don't belong.
What are your husband's wishes regarding your presence at this difficult (for him) and sensitive (for you, regarding you being pregnant and being terrorized by this woman for years already) time? I say just do whatever you think he wants and needs from you, to the extent that it doesn't cause any undue stress and strain on you, of course.
Thanks Serafina :) That's what I'm trying to do - although i want him with me the day we should be happiest so far, I have encouraged family time while they wait for news and sent him there with my blessing. She also has pneumonia, so I can't visit while she does, as I have a history of it and can't be exposed, so I won't be expected to see her for a while.. if that passes I'll be there as much as I can, but we run our own 7 day business so I'm worried about covering all of the shop hours by myself over the coming months as well.
I think I might be too hormonal to be as selfless as I need to be - I'm usually so tough but now, crappy self absorbed fairy floss... I just know this will be a very long hospital commitment for him, which will prob last the whole pregnancy and I'm worried about being left to deal with everything else by myself. (OMG I'm wallowing! many apologies!!)
You guys just made me cry! Thanks so much!! xx
I feel pretty alone with this, and normally OH/DH is the first one I would turn to, but I obviously can't. Having people to share with means the world right now - where else can I admit my dying MIL hates me?? LOL If you don't mind, I'll keep you posted if it gets awful/better, but I will toughen up once we have a clearer time frame.
Just scary to think I might be dealing with this pregnancy essentially alone, while he stays near the hospital, after all we went through together to get here.
wallowing again! must stop!! :)
Blonhrt88 My first pregnancy was easy peasy as was the labor despite it being 20 hours. It wasn't totally painless but it wasn't painful if that makes sense. I'm going to chalk it up to another easy going pregnancy and leave it at that until I find out otherwise.
Meagan unfortunately, I'm not in Hawaii. Our first was conceived there and that's how I chose my screen name. What island are you headed to. I have a momma friend over there who I think used a midwife.
Suzie, sorry to hear about your MIL troubles. That sounds like a tough situation!
My prenatal appt was just ok. I met one of the midwives (she was actually there for the initial info session we went to, but since we had gotten there a few mins late I didn't get background on who she was). I didn't like her very much. She's one of those people who smiles after practically every sentence, which I find really artificial and annoying. Her attempts at being soothing (like during the blood draw, which I was fine with and didn't need any "soothing" for) were just grating. Sooo...yeah that kinda sucks. I can be picky about people, but sometimes my first impressions wear off and I come to like a person. Hopefully she will grow on me with time. I assume I'll meet the other two midwives in future appts. I liked the student midwife who was also there for the appt.
I go back in two weeks for a follow-up ultrasound for a small SCH they found, and for the NT scan, which I requested. Then another two weeks after that for my next prenatal.
Happily bored and quietly enjoying having 1 kid only at home right now. DP is off with the 3 boys (DS1, DS2, and DSS) and my little girl is watching the Carebears on Hulu. My nausea is slacking off, for which I am immensely grateful. Not exactly normal yet, but much less miserable. Hope my energy picks up soon too. Going to try to get a HB with a friend's doppler at the end of the week. Hope I can hear something!
Suzie, that's a lot to have going on. So sorry to hear, and I hope you all are able to show each other love and support while grappling with all these hard issues.
Things are okay around here. I'll have a couple days of feeling better then a couple day of feeling worse. I'm definitely outgrowing my pants now, ugh. Got out of the house this weekend and went to look at some maternity clothes because I never had to have any summer ones before. I have to say that this third time around there was NO joy in the shopping experience. I'd just hold up the big sacks and think "really? Do I have to?" I know I need to keep perspective about the privilege of having a pregnancy at all, but I have to say I'm NOT excited about everything all the physical stuff that has to happen between now and a little cuddle-bug in October. I love, love, love the tiny baby phase, but I do not love pregnancy. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the prize!
Care providers...I'll go with the same doctor who delivered my DS. I did not have a great birth experience with my DD; I used one of those big practices where you cycle through the docs and don't know who you'll get on the big day. Some of the docs were natural-birth friendly and some not, and of course I got the WORST one on the day I was in labor. It turned out okay--got an epidural but no other interventions, and DD was born vaginally and I wasn't emotionally scarred or anything, but it just wasn't how I wanted it to go, and I felt like the doc wasn't nice to me. With my DS I found a lovely doc who delivers all her own babies, who is very supportive of whatever birth experience the mother wants, and who I just really felt like I got along well with in general--we just clicked. My birth was totally different than the first, with my doc being super-supportive and kind, and my son was born without medication or incident. I've already been in to see her this pregnancy and she was super awesome. She even told me that the hospital where I'll deliver has tubs now, and she remembered (which I couldn't believe!) how much I loved the relief of the hot shower before, so she felt like I'd be excited about the tubs, which I am. I feel good about everything this time. I have a lot of homebirth friends locally, and I was at the homebirth of my own niece a few years ago, but for some reason I just don't feel like a homebirther myself. I love that it's an option, think it's a good one, safe, etc, but it's just not for me personally. I'm glad that this time I'll have the confidence of a prior positive experience to draw from when that time rolls around.
I want a doppler.
I think I'm farther than 7+6
My average cycle length was 22 days
I just assumed because we dtd only 1x before cd14 that I o'd on the 14th day
My pee stick 12 dpo was dark and my digtal at 16dpo said 3+ weeks and 19dpo I was at 4500hcg.
Which would put me at 8+5.
I hate being pregnant!!!!!!
Happileigh: LOL I just bought some maternity jeans and I know exactly what you mean! With my DS I was absolutely huge though (one day I might post a photo of the day I went into labour - it will make ALL of you feel so petite haha) so I guess it's inevitable that I will outgrow the biggest parachutes they can offer me :) I seem to stack on loads of fluid, which is great because I'm clumsy so baby is well cushioned, but terrible for looking small lol..
Slammerkin: Agreed about the sickly sweet patronizing midwife. I had one of those in IVF and I think she was actually a robot
SerenyD: Glad you're nausea is easing - you must be heading for the homestretch of feeling normal again :) yay!
Shiloh: When will you have a scan to date the pregnancy? I bet you are further along - esp if you have a short cycle, but it sure sounds like you must be
Everyone: Thank you so much for your support with my MIL situation.. Nothing has changed with her condition, she hasn't responded to any of the drugs that clear the chemo, and she is still completely delirious. I'm going to see her today with DH as they gave me the all clear that it's safe in the ICU. If she doesn't improve over the next 24 hours hope begins to fade for any kind of recovery, so it's very sad for DH and his family. But I just want to thank you all for taking the time - I really appreciate your support guys I'm sure I'll need more soon xx
Oh Suzie I'm so sorry you have had to endure such an awful time with your mil. I am always gob smacked that older people don't seem to have a filter, have they not heard if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. I think your an amazingly strong woman you've been through so much to get here and your husband will be so pleased to have you standing by him despite the strained relationship you have with his mother. Much love and strength to you for the coming days and weeks.
having a bad day here :-( just a mess really. Dh came home from work and rescued us, took our son to school, then we went to the supermarket and he came and cleaned before heading back to work. I am so so grateful. I hate feeling useless and out of control. Financially we're in a really rough place right now and it's just making things that little bit harder. To top it off yesterday I was driving behind a truck and trailer unit on the motorway and a rock flew out of its trailer into my windscreen and cracked it right down the centre :-( but there is nothing anyone can do because in my shocked state I didn't get the full licence plate. So yes feeling sorry for myself today, totally in need of some chocolate.