Sounds EXACTLY like my son. At 20 months I decided I could no longer take it and we decided to do night weaning based on Jay Gordon's method. We chose the hours from 8 pm to 4 am as the hours for no nursing. It worked really well and he is down to wanting to nurse just around 4 or 5 which at first felt so luxurious (we are now trying to cut this last nursing out, for the same reasons you name, the restlessness and me never really getting back to sleep afterwards. Right now it feels impossible. Crying into my coffee this morning...).
Here is what we found for our son: it was actually pretty easy to cut out any nursing before 2:30ish. No long crying sessions to get to that point, just needing to sshhh him or tell a short story. Cutting out the 2 or 3 am nursing was really hard, there were several nights of us all being up for 2 or more hours. But then he did it. And now it's dealing with that early morning nursing, the wanting to be constantly latched on, etc.
Not sure if that helps, but you are not alone! You could try a little night weaning and see how much is just habit that is relatively easy to change?
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