Chat Thread March 13-20 - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[buko]

Has anyone here read The Wonder Weeks? Especially those of you on the Fuss Bus?

http://www.amazon.com/The-Wonder-Weeks-development-predictable/dp/9079208043/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363970909&sr=8-1&keywords=wonder+weeks

I got it a few months ago and decided it wasn't fun ahead-of-time reading, but that it would make a great reference when baby came. I seem to be right. Apparently, research has shown that pretty much all infants go through about 10 big developmental leaps (brain-wise, not just learning to crawl, etc.) And during/just before those leaps, there's invariably a fussy time. It's been comforting to me to think that I may be able to recognize these times, and maybe not make myself so crazy trying to figure out if my kid is sick (in the absence of other symptoms), or if I need to cut out some dietary element, or if I need to do something drastically differently, parenting-wise.

Anyhoo, apparently the first big Wonder Week is around week 4-5, which I imagine some of you are in, so that might be the explanation for the Fuss Bus situation!

[loveandgarbage]

We've got a fussy guy, too. I remember this from DS1-- from 4 to 8 weeks he was really gassy and just screamed his head off all night :(. I feel so bad for Lou! It's so sad! When DH is home at night it's a lot more manageable because we can switch off with calming (and also joke around to keep each other from going insane) but last night I was solo and I was really close to being a blubbering mess.

[Jenny01]

Thanks! I was warned about "growth spurts" but not the mental development aspect of it until my midwife told me yesterday. I should probably pick this up so I don't feel like I'm a bad mom when I can't seem to console her.

[loveandgarbage]

Yeah, these are rough weeks! Something I remind myself of is that even though my baby is crying I am still tending to him and am there with him through it all. Sometimes babies just need to cry.

[buko]

The idea is like... imagine if you were to wake up one day on an alien planet (as babies feel they are when, say, all of a sudden, their senses are supercharged, or they realize they are not literally a part of their moms' bodies, or whatever brain leap they are making). You would be cranky, upset, and cling to the one or two familiar people around you, KWIM? Made a lot of sense to me.

[kellybeth]

Originally Posted by loveandgarbage 

We've got a fussy guy, too. I remember this from DS1-- from 4 to 8 weeks he was really gassy and just screamed his head off all night :(. I feel so bad for Lou! It's so sad! When DH is home at night it's a lot more manageable because we can switch off with calming (and also joke around to keep each other from going insane) but last night I was solo and I was really close to being a blubbering mess.

wednesday was the first day of her deciding not to nap, and was also the day that hubby was gone from 6am, while she was sleeping, until 7pm, when i finally got her to do that moan-sleep thing when she is tired but can't quite get to sleep yet. all in-between was inconsolable crying and i definitely had a couple cries in there with her. when hubby got home he took her b/c he missed her and i was still such a mess that i didn't say a word. i just got in the shower and cried again. it feels so awful to hear/see her cry. 

we had a family outing to target today-our first ever! she slept in her carrier the entire time. her first nap in days! SO glad it went well. 

[loveandgarbage]

Glad you guys got out, kellybeth! And yeah, it's just so hard some days. I've also done the silent hand-off and number of times!

I like the alien planet analogy! It must be so weird for them.

[Jenny01]

I've done my fair share of crying this week too. I'm finally wrapping my head around the fact that its normal and not my fault. Still hate hearing her cry though- only thing that stops it is a boob lol

[odinsmama]

We're still having really rough nights here.  It's pretty frustrating because I can't sleep with her during the day, when she sleeps fine and never does the crying freak out, won't nurse thing like she does at night.  Every night we're up until 1:00 or later and I'm really really tired.  Now I've got the cold my boys have and my boobs are killing me.  Baby might be sick, too (my only symptoms are sore throat and headache, no fever) so that would explain the really bad night last night.  I'm seriously thinking about some infant tylenol for tonight.

Oh yeah, now I remember why I didn't enjoy the newborn stage!  Good thing she's so stinking cute.

[Chloe'sMama]

Sorry odinsmama- no fun.... I have been napping with ds and dd2 while dd1 plays on the computer.  DD2 wont sleep at night if she naps, so we are not letting her nap so i dont get one.

This weekend pretty much stinks.  DH left yesterday morning at 5 for San Diego and is coming home late tonight or tomorrow.  I have the 3 kids by myself for the first time (overnight) and dd1 has the croupe that developed last night.  DD2 is cranky and so I am sure getting sick too.  MIL is taking care of SIL kids so she cant be here and my mom is in costa rica.  poo.... hope today goes by fast.

Hope everyone else has a good weekend...

[waywornwanderer]

We are dealing with major fussiness, too. It's rough, emotionally, to hear Margot scream as if in pain for hours on end. And physically! We are both just exhausted so walking around and around the apartment is tiring. The carriers are hit or miss with this little one. DD hates the Moby but will tolerate the Ergo if we walk outside. Unfortunately the weather's been pretty abysmal, so I've been trapped at home for 5.5 weeks with just one family outing to Church and a solo grocery trip this week. I remind myself constantly that every day she's one day older, that even when I seem incompetent I'm helping by being loving and present, that she cries because she's *having* a hard time and not to give *me* a hard time. These weeks have been brutal! But we live this girl to death, which more than helps.

Thinking maybe she's struggling with gas or silent reflux. I know her crying has gone through the roof since I starting taking a 10 day antibiotic for mastitis. (Which, ugh.) I started a dairy free experiment last week to see if it helps, so I started taking probiotics in lieu of my normal kefir/yogurt. Sent DH out to get some Baby Jarrow for baby to see if it'll help her digestion and balance us out. (Thrush being of concern of course.) Gripe water is hit or miss and I really don't want to rely on it unless I can concoct a homemade formulation.

My mom and MIL both live cross country. We had planned on me and baby visiting for three weeks in May while DH finishes studying for his boards.... But MIL just offered for us to come out early so she can help me (I haven't slept more than 1.5 hours at a time since DD was born and have daytime insomnia). It's hard for me up say no to being back in my hometown and having a bevy of outside help! Going it alone has been rough on DH and I and I'm still bleeding a bit (and DD is so needy!) that we have yet to DTD. Oy. Lots on my mind right now!

Anyway, peace to all you mamas! Wishing you a happy and less-tearful weekend.

[HouseofPeace]

we just seem to have mostly come out of the fussy phase.  thankfully, since hubby is gone for 8 days.  he took the 2 and 3 year old, and the little man and i are hashing out nights.  i've got to read what Buko posted, but suspect i might already have an inkling.  my son doesn't know he's not a part of me yet.  at all.  so what he wants, i better want or know, or else he gets very mad at me- trembling lip, big square-mouthed cry, and crocodile tears.  at 9pm, he starts hollering b/c he's ready for me to take him to bed.  he nurses most of the night, and i actually sleep really well and don't really feel like he wakes up til 6am.  at 6am, he's tired of bed and wants me to take him out of bed.  at 9pm, if i don't take him to bed and lie down w/ him, he's completely inconsolable.  at 6am, it's the same thing but about his wanted to be OUT of bed.  during naptimes, if i don't have him home and on me or in his bouncy chair, he lets me have it again.  it's amazing he's already so set on what he wants, but when he doesn't know, we have the boob battle.  my only solution is to nurse him.  but often he's plenty full and then we get into a bad struggle of me trying to nurse him, him taking the nipple b/c he needs encouragement, but then him spitting up loads (like LOADS) of milk and then we do it again when out.  at home, the bouncy chair works wonders, as does putting him near the woodstove where it's nice and warm and kids are playing.

he's really a good baby- he's not hard or needy.  he is opinionated! 

and we've been blessed that fussing is very limited.  definitely not for extended periods except when i choose to stay in bed or do something other than console him.  just had company (hubby gone and company and baby is 6 weeks tomorrow.  ) and the major source of comments was 'you'd never know you had a newborn!' so he's pretty durn good!  but i had a hard 4-5 week period.  i don't remember what now, but remember it being very hard.... ah, hormones!!!

so, hopefully everyone else will be coming out of the fussy phase soon too!