kellybeth- i'm sorry you hate the maya, that is my go-to nursing sling so no suggestions! sympathy on the high needs babies! usually they're really smart and aware at an early age. both my high needs babies are WONDERFUL young children. but it was challenging when i couldn't do anything. DS1 and DD3 were both like that, always in my arms, and DS1 loved the sling, but DD3 gave me awesome biceps. :D speaking and walking were key to their shift from high needs to very social and interactive.
i have a L maya which doesn't fit and i don't use that one (it's got a lot of rainbow and pink and it fits my 6'2" 230lb hubby, which is durn cute) but have a light cotton REMAKE of a maya my mom made which is a S and fits so much better. there's not a lot of extra fabric and it's light. i put the baby on, then the sling and tighten it over the nursing baby and can do most things w/ minimal head support/stabilization. i've not used the sling much this baby except in grocery store. the L is waaaaay too long, and i end up tossing fabric over my shoulder. but i have a woven wrap too which i plan on using, but haven't had the need for yet at all. next week i plan on walking again w/ all the kids at our local farm, and will try it then. but can't nurse in it at all. my mai tai i lent out and don't have back yet, but also can't manage nursing in any upright carrier. only in the side-lying sling.
thankfully my little dude loves to be held by his siblings (he sleeps in their arms too) and also loves the bouncy chair (he had cinnamon sprinkled across his blanket a few days ago as i had one foot on the bouncy while i make paleo cinnamon rolls!) which makes him an easy baby in my book!