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I kind of want to quit

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 

My DS is 9 months old. He is not interested in solids much. I do offer them at least once a day but he just isn't interested as of yet. He loves to nurse. I didn't think at 9 months I'd still be EBF! It's like I still have a tiny baby (except he's much faster at nursing now). He also likes to nurse quite a bit at night. I had originally taken the stance of letting him self-wean but I'm re-thinking that now. I feel like I will be a bad mom if I try to start weaning at 18 months or whatever. 


I guess I'm just looking for encouragement, support, and experiences from others who had babies who loved the breast! I do enjoy it, I guess I just have mixed feelings about it right now, and also guilt.

post #2 of 14

i am curious....he loves nursing..how is it making you feel since you are considering weaning at 18 months. you didnt express that and i'd like to give more advice but need more before answering smile.gif

post #3 of 14
Thread Starter 

18 months seems like a loooooong way away but since he loves nursing so much I don't think weaning before then is realistic. I want it to be a good transition for him too, not traumatic. Obviously he has to be eating a lot more table food before I can wean. We're not even close to that.


We were just at the doc for his 9mo appointment and he's in the 90% percentile for height - I'm proud that I've basically grown this huge baby on just my milk. It just takes a lot out of me. eyesroll.gif

post #4 of 14
My son didn't start eating solids until like 14 months even now he does not eat a lot and still just nurses. I have no idea when he will wean. He pretty Mich so far has threw all my plans out with his own personality so unjust leave it.
post #5 of 14

you know around 6 months i though...whoa how can i do this...it's exhausting,i have to sit stop what im doing blah blah but around 9 months i started to love it so much. it meant so much to him and i by then. it became a bonding time for us and i really cannot explain it. when i weaned at 18 months i was so so sad.we also waited so that we could communicate to him what was happening and it made the transition easier for him. we stopped because we are trying for another.

one thing i have learned it breastfeeding is hard and challenging and rewarding. and it is so awesome that we all and you can provide emotional support for our babies.

hopefully someone else will see this and can word it so much better.

you have doing job! and whatever decision you make will be fine..you sound like a good mama. just the fact that you are processing all this!!!!

post #6 of 14
hug.gif This is commonly a big breastfeeding hurdle to clear. I'm going through it now, in fact. The difference is that my baby is 9 months and really puts down those solids. And yet I feel like I'm nursing more than ever these days!

A huge part of it is the teething. How's that going for your baby? When all of their little gums are in pain, they can crave you more than ever.

Do you wear your baby? I found that once I mastered a back carry, my baby loved the novelty and being close to me...and I loved giving my boobs a break. lol.gif I also accomplished a lot more around the house. thumb.gif
post #7 of 14

My son wasn't interested much in solids until 10 months.  He ate them but they never made up a significant part of his diet.


If it makes you feel any better, before a baby's first birthday solids are only about getting used to flavors.  They aren't meant for nutrition.

post #8 of 14

My kids didn't eat much solids til about 1.5 years. It took a lot out of me, especially the second time. I feel ya! Something that helped me was offering water in a sippy cup after a year. That way if they were just thirsty, they could drink without needing to nurse. That's an unpopular thing to do with EBF though! The best advice I can give you is that if you're interested in nursing past a year, do whatever you can to make it more feasible to you. Maybe it's offering food, maybe it's giving a sippy cup, maybe just getting some solo time to yourself.

post #9 of 14

This may be so obvious, but maybe just cutting back on the night nursing would give you a little break and more rest so you can have the energy to enjoy nursing during the day.   I think night weaning would have been impossible for me with out my DH taking on the night time care for a 8-10 nights that I slept in another room while we weaned our 9 mo from 5 times a night down to one.  It was hard, but well worth it.  We kept that last one until about 14, when DH had to do all the nighttime parenting again for a couple of weeks.  Good luck, and hang in there.  Also remember how well you have already done 9 months is actually a huge and somewhat rare accomplishment. 

post #10 of 14

My son just turned 3yo and still nurses, although mostly just before bed and occasionally just before a nap.  At nine months he was really enjoying trying food, but as Turquesa said I felt like he was nursing as much, if not more than before solids.  And I also agree with the teeth coming in part.  He nursed like crazy when a new tooth was coming through. 


Our nursing relationship waxed and waned through the months and years.  Sometimes I felt so fed up with being "on" all of the time.  Eventually, probably about 18mos, when I thought he would understand, I introduced the idea of a 'break'.  I can't remember the story I told, or how I related it... but in a way that would make sense to him...  like, 'When you have been playing in the sandbox all morning and you start to get tired and a bit hungry, then it's time to take a break from playing in the sandbox.'  Well, the boobs need a break sometimes too.  They get tired from working hard all of the time, because when you aren't nursing they are still busy making milk for the next time you nurse.  So, that made nursing sweet again for a time.


Then, just when I thought that I couldn't take it anymore (about 2yo)... DS fell off a step and bumped his head and scraped up his face (trying to be a big kid before he was big enough smile.gif).  Well, he ran to my arms and asked to nurse, crying and bleeding and all.  And so we nursed and he quieted and I was able to be there for him in a way that was so good for both of us!  Those moments erased all of the 'sick and tired of it' that had been building. 


When he was about 2 1/2yo and I was a couple of months pregnant, nursing started to give me the 'all-overs'.  I wanted him to self wean, but again, I couldn't do it anymore.  But I couldn't figure out how to wean when my heart wasn't in it and he clearly didn't want to.  Then, a couple of months later, we lost the baby.  I felt so blessed to still have a nursling, my sweet sweet 2 1/2yo son.  He would crawl into my lap and snuggle and nurse while I was still recovering.  I was SO thankful that I never quite figured out how to wean him!


So, I don't know if these stories will terrify you or give you inspiration to plug on through... But for me it has been well worth the worst of times.  All that I have received from our nursing relationship far outweighs those hard times, though it is hard to see that during the hard times.  Whatever you decide will be the right decision for you and your family. 


**As an added note...  My friend used to pump so that she could get time off from nursing.  Her DH could watch the LO and she could have several nurse free hours.  That really worked for her and her family.  Oh, and her DS didn't eat ANYTHING until well after his first year.

post #11 of 14

It will depend on what you want and if your baby is ready. My DD is 22mos and still being BFing though I'm already conditioning her to be weaned.

post #12 of 14
Thread Starter 

Thanks everyone. I have given some thought to night weaning but right now he sleeps in bed with us, and won't spend more than an hour at a time asleep in his crib. It is hard to say no to him in the middle of the night when he wants to nurse! And I don't want to really wake up, or rile him up and wake my husband in the process either.


He is getting his first teeth right now - the uppers. They don't seem to be bothering him much, at least currently.


I do like to wear him but he's a crawler/cruiser right now and seems to have a short tolerance for being worn. He wants to explore! Of course when he's done exploring he always comes back to mommy for milk. stillheart.gif


We will keep plugging along for the time being. He is slowly making progress with table food. If there's one thing I've learned it's that things can change overnight. I'm sure I'll be sad when he weans. 

post #13 of 14

I hear you on the exploring.  DS refused to be worn from the second he could walk at 12 months.  Now at 31, he says he is willing to give the ergo a try again, but it worries me because he learned to climb out around 13 months.  I had the vision of wearing him though toddlerhood, but he has other ideas wink1.gif.  On the night weaning, just listen to your own needs, and your baby's.  You'll know when the time is right.

post #14 of 14
It can be a lot of work/time to nurse for sure! Would pumping a few bottles for someone else to offer help (if he even takes bottles?) and give you a break? Would putting some gentle limits on nursing help? Just some thoughts as sometimes a small change on Mom's side like that can really bring nursing back to being so much more enjoyable! You are doing great smile.gif
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