what a wonderful place to be. The bubble of peace I'm guessing will also help after baby arrives and EVERYONE has advise and strong opinions about how you should be doing things.
I'm gonna start working on this :)
gonna start working on your bubble of peace? good thinking. just smile and turn your cheek if people start to really get to you...it's hard. that's why i had to vent... its really hard being stuck in bed all day and hearing these things, too. just keep the peace littlegreenlady! <3
it is frustrating...and it really opens the doors to people saying things like this. especially "as long as the baby is healthy"! of course i feel that way but it's still MY birth
...I have this same feeling and sometimes am told I'm selfish because of it. DP and I got into an argument at one point because he thought I was being selfish about my desires for MY birth, because it's also his baby and he wants a say. Totally understandable, but when it comes down to it, isn't it still MY body and MY birth? Maybe I am being selfish, but no matter how involved he (or anyone else) may be, it's still my body that's doing all the damn work. This is my first baby so I am a total newbie and maybe I am completely wrong, but I honestly feel like my opinion and intuition should be first and foremost. My family is also giving me an insanely hard time about my desire to UC. My sister even just told my mom she shouldn't be at the birth so I would be "forced to go to the hospital." !!! Through all their concerns out of love for me, they need to understand that it is MY body and MY birth and I am going to do this the way I feel is best for me and my baby. For all of us, it is our bodies and we have the ultimate say in how things proceed (all things considered, complications aside). Women are very intuitive, especially when pregnant and going through labor. How dare anyone tell us how we should do this very natural process! Sorry.....slight rant, not trying to bring things back to me and my crazy situation
If you follow hypnobabies you are actually led through creating a 'real' bubble of peace in your mind. You can pick the color, the sound, how you feel in it etc and build on the imagery so that you can go there as needed. I find it very helpful when I feel anxious for any reason (pregnancy hormones make me anxious about weird things like driving) - but a couple deep breaths and I can go to this place where the negativity (outer and inner) cannot come.
So the BofP is twofold - creating an outer environment free of the negative people/comments/etc and an inner one where you can escape yourself ;)
My Husband and I have also experienced the same response from others when talking about the birth plans we desire. What's funny is that one of my baby books told me not to share the baby's name before she's born because people might be jugemental......well, not as jugemental as our birth wishes!
What we've concluded is that everyone's birth experience is usually the best experience in their minds, unless they went in with specific wishes and unforeseen circumstances occured......But that's rare. Many people have no preconceived idea of what they want their birth to be like and just go with the flow. They arrive at the hospital early in labor and are given pitocin and an epidural. Crazy but it's like a broken record....we hear it over and over again. I've had other women tell me that they "don't want to know what goes on down there" and would rather have an elective c-section. To each her own!
Our local women's hospital actually has a 90% intervention rate......only 10% of women give birth there naturally. I'd be willing to bet it's because they arrived at the hospital and were past the point of being able to get an epidural. With so few people having natural labor these days, we are bound to run ino this.....
It's all very strange but the only advice I can give is to focus on what you want and do everything that is rational and within your power to make that happen.
We are switching from our OB/GYN (who I've seen for 22 years) to a birthing center becuase we feel that will give us the best chance of having the birth experience we desire. This is our first baby and probably our last. I am at 29 weeks and have no risk factors so we're going for the gusto. If something happens and we have to transfer, we'll make the best of it. It won't be ideal and we'll probably be unhappy but at least we will have given it our best shot!
I planned a home birth for my first child.
I did labor at home and pushed for a long long time.
We transfered to a hospital due to lowering heart rate.
I gave birth an hour later, with no major interventions.
I am mentioning this because though I had wanted very much to give birth at home and did absolutely no planning for a possible hospital birth, things worked out well.
Did not and do not regret how things worked out.
I do not and did not feel like anything was wrong with what had to happen.
Granted being in the hospital was uncomfortable for me afterwards and I was working on getting out as fast as possible.
I am going about it the same way this time. Again feel very much like I want a home birth, and planning for it.
I am comfortable with the distance of the local hospital if an emergency arises, and am making no preparations for ending up there.
It's really important for me to feel that I am making the right decision for me.
I know many mamas that though they were once interested in home birth, but now feel it's irresponsible under certain circumstances. As well as all sorts of other views and convictions. Everyone should follow what feels right to them and is best for the baby. My mother had 4 babies on her own with no midwives or much help from anyone else. That was what was right for her. That plan scares me so I am grateful that I live in a place and time where I can get help from midwives and choose to plan the birth that feels comforting to me. I'm sure that some people feel the same way about hospitals and other types of birthing options. Yes there are some people out there that are not educating themselves or making informed decisions in this matter. If I were a concerned loved one a simple "have you explored all your options and come to your decision on your own" would feel right, anything beyond that seems condescending and disrespectful to me.