My first trimester I was not nauseous, rarely even. Instead I was bloated, painfully so. I lost 8lbs, gaining only 5 back thus far. In the beginning of my second trimester I suffered severe dizziness brought in by orthostatic blood pressures (my BP would drop with position changes).
Finally things started to normalize. I felt the baby kicking, I started to develop a bump, and recently I became proud and started to kind of enjoy this. Prior to that, despite my feelings about my pending motherhood, I've suffered from body image issues as I am overweight to begin with and was disappointed to be frequently told I 'don't look pregnant' etc. but once I felt the baby kicking, that was overshadowed a bit.
Recently I failed my 1 hour test. I fasted nearly 12 hours and my bg was 165. They want me to go back for my 3 hour. But as I know my number was high, i think my odds of passing are low. I believe it's a matter of days before I'm diagnosed with GD.
I feel horrible. I've cried some. I try to imagine not drinking milk and orange juice and I feel miserable. Sounds dumb I know. Counting carbs and obsessing over my intake is a nightmare for me. I've done it before for diets and it just made me hate my body even more. I was enjoying guilt free eating, as prior to pregnancy I find almost all eating, healthy or not, guilt ridden. I was feeling proud of my bump and instantly I'm ashamed. I'm a nurse but that doesn't mean my feelings are rational. A coworker says to me today 'you know, being overweight is a big risk factor' (I did know this) and she went on to say 'you'll see, it's a good thing. They'll teach you about healthy eating and portion control' when I tried to tell her I have a pretty good understanding of those fundamentals she called me defensive and told me to 'do it for your baby' so after that I felt worse. I'd do anything for my baby, and I feel guilty enough. So I'm miserable and in need if support. No one in my family ever had GD. My maternal grandfather had diabetes and father is a pre-diabetic. I work with many patients with type 2 diabetes (most if which are severely ill, blindness, cardiac disease, missing limbs, sugar dementia and brain damage) and this only makes my fear worse. I'm not a nurse in this situation and I feel like I know just enough to scare the pants off me.