Do you ever post anything on facebook when friends give their babies shots?

[bluedaisy]

I always cringe when I read facebook posts about my friends giving their babies their shots.  I usually don't say anything unless someone posts something asking for advice or opinions, and although I have occasionally posted an article about vaccines I don't really publically share that we don't vax.

One facebook friend (who is an old college teammate who I haven't talked to in years) recently had premature twins, who have already had several health issues.

She just posted today about being mad at the nurse who told her the shots (2nd hep b shot) wouldn't bother her babies and then they were screaming and awake for hours.

This post literally almost made me cry...I feel so sad thinking about those babies who are getting vax'ed for a disease that they have an almost 0% chance of getting.  Everyone responded by saying to give them tylenol, and a handful of people suggested spreading out the vaccines and only doing 2 shots per visit. 

I would love a way to respond in a supportive way but also encourage her to question/do research....any suggestions on ways to respond to posts like this, or should I just mind my own business and keep quiet?

[Chloebelle]

Maybe send her a PM. It sounds like she's concerned, so it might be helpful to her if you give her information.

It makes me cringe when I see or hear about kids getting their shots. I don't say anything though.

[Marnica]

I agree - I wouldn't publicly post anything. I would send her a PM if you thought she would be receptive. 

[Chloe'sMama]

I would also send her a PM about it if you are going to do anything.

I lost a friend last year who posted on FB about letting her little DD (3 or 4 months at the time) CIO and that it was the best decision she ever made.... blah blah blah.  I sent her a PM about CIO (it was respectful and kind) and now I am down 1 friend (she was a super close friend for many years).  Just a warning that people can be very closed to advice.

Good luck 

[serenbat]

Quote:

I lost a friend last year who posted on FB about letting her little DD (3 or 4 months at the time) CIO and that it was the best decision she ever made.... blah blah blah.  I sent her a PM about CIO (it was respectful and kind) and now I am down 1 friend (she was a super close friend for many years).  Just a warning that people can be very closed to advice.

as with other issues, true friends don't do this (drop you)

[nia82]

I understand how you feel. But unless it is a very close friend, I wouldn't send a PM. Most people don't want to hear anything different. I never admit publicly that we don't vaccinate on schedule or anything else for that matter (e.g. my disgust for circumcision, that we rear-face our car seats long, no CIO, extended breastfeeding - I don't engage in anything on FB, I just use it as tool to be in touch with friends back home and here. mainly for playdates).

[Chloe'sMama]

Originally Posted by serenbat 

as with other issues, true friends don't do this (drop you)

Absolutely.... I thought we were super close, which is why I tried.... You just never know.

[The4OfUs]

*If* you PM someone about any sensitive/controversial issue, I'd suggest, and this is across the board for any issue, to just write to them that you read their post and wanted to let them know there's an alternative, that you have information on it, and if they're interested to let you know and you'd be happy to share.  And that's it.  Actually presenting the info and any theories/judgements behind it in an initial message, however kind and gentle, unless they are specifically asking is overstepping IMO, and rarely ends well.

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by The4OfUs 

*If* you PM someone about any sensitive/controversial issue, I'd suggest, and this is across the board for any issue, to just write to them that you read their post and wanted to let them know there's an alternative, that you have information on it, and if they're interested to let you know and you'd be happy to share.  And that's it.  Actually presenting the info and any theories/judgements behind it in an initial message, however kind and gentle, unless they are specifically asking is overstepping IMO, and rarely ends well.

I agree with this. People do not want to feel judged for their choices. This way if she wants to really know about an alternative, she can come and ask you. I actually did this with a coworker who was pregnant during the swineflu scare. I knew she was thinking about it. I told her I had information to share if she was interested. She came to me and was open and I shared whatever info I had with her about that topic and eventually she asked me about pediatric vaccines and well, 2.5 yrs later her son is unvaxed and she is about to have her 2nd one. 

[emmy526]

I usually don't reply, but if it's an issue with reactions to vaccines, then via pm, i offer my insight, and let her know if she needs more info, i can point her in the right direction.  

[Potatogirl]

I would respond publicly without hesitation. I usually attach an article or reference along with a personal "let me know if you'd like more info on the subject!" Facebook is a wonderful outlet & the more of us that speak out about ALL of the above mentioned subjects, the better off we'll all be. Yes, we're in the minority - but let's be open about how we feel (& why). Those that don't feel like we do certainly aren't conscious about how we might respond to their more mainstream parenting choices. The more parents see that there are options & people choosing them for good reason - the better off our society will be. And if they un-friend you over a simple difference of opinion, they weren't much of a friend anyway... IMHO. Good luck!

[sassyfirechick]

I've left a few comments to people about the VAERS site with something along the lines of, here's a site, any and all things you see with your kiddo from fever to red injection site, please take a minute to report them bc if no one reports things, vaccines will never be as safe as they can be.  I leave it at that unless they want to ask me anything more, which one or two have.  I did PM a friend who had a preemie bc she was asking everyone for advice.  Whether or not she took my advice and did anything, I doubt it, I noticed she was having issues with NICU nurses letting her 4wk old CIO so I'm pretty sure she vaxxed bc she was afraid to say no to anything.  But if the least I can do is get the word out about reporting, then it's a good thing.  One friend did ask me about what I was doing for vaxxes and admitted she was leaning towards delayed, so I gave her some info and she thanked me for not only being honest but for not being pushy about it.  Then there's the nursing friends who stopped commenting (thank god!) on my links to various studies or vidoes or things I find interesting from time to time regardning non-vax.

[The4OfUs]

Originally Posted by Potatogirl 

I would respond publicly without hesitation. I usually attach an article or reference along with a personal "let me know if you'd like more info on the subject!" Facebook is a wonderful outlet & the more of us that speak out about ALL of the above mentioned subjects, the better off we'll all be. Yes, we're in the minority - but let's be open about how we feel (& why). Those that don't feel like we do certainly aren't conscious about how we might respond to their more mainstream parenting choices. The more parents see that there are options & people choosing them for good reason - the better off our society will be. And if they un-friend you over a simple difference of opinion, they weren't much of a friend anyway... IMHO. Good luck!

Actually, yes - I will revise my above statement and say that I would publically respond that there are alternatives and if you (or anyone) is interested I'm happy to share resources.  But I'd leave it at that and not actually link anything, or give any opinions at that point, unless someone directly asked.  And come to think of it, I have done that on FB posts...but I only say I have information on alternatives, and only give links/opinions if they are solicited. 

[Bronwen13]

I've wanted to, but have so far refrained. Just yesterday I read my friend's post that her baby was up all night with a fever from her vaccinations. Drives me NUTS!!! Why have people come to believe that a fever after vaccinations is normal? Yeah, when it comes to Facebook, I don't say anything.

[bluedaisy]

Thanks for the comments, I did end up posting:

Sorry to hear they've been having a hard time! HepB is acutally an STD, so unless your babies will be having unprotected sex or sharing needles they have no chance of getting it (unless you yourself have HepB). They give it to babies as a public health measure to make sure everyone gets it, but you can safely delay those shots until the babies are much older if they seem to have a hard time with it

Then put a link to Dr sears website about giving newborns a shot against STDs.  She had received 34 other replies with other people giving advice, but not good advice!  i thought it was pretty unoffensive and nobody even commented on my post but the person who replied after me said,

Always give your babies tylenol before they get their shots. You are right, that nurse was an idiot! My first child had a febrile seizure b/c I didn't give him tylenol ahead of time. Never made that mistake again!!!

This kind of stuff is what kills me - her baby gets a vaccine and then has a seizure...instead of questioning the vaccine she just attributes the seizure to not giving tylenol!!  What?????
 

[sassyfirechick]

Yah and in the case of my DD, when I took her to the ND for food sensitivities she commented that based on her reactions, tylenol (acetaminophen) would actually cause an increase in symptoms and I'd be best of to avoid it and contact her for recomendations should I feel the need to self medicate my DD.  It's a good thing I'm so anti-pharm bc I would hate to think I was increasing a fever insstead of reducing it, never mind "avoiding seizures".  Wow.  I mean my girl was potentially a vax away from afebrile seizures - we'll never know bc I stopped vaxxing, but it was the path she was on based on symptoms and side effects, and to think someone believes tylenol would somehow prevent this....just wow.

[emmy526]

Unfortunately, there is an entire segment to our society that willingly believes whatever the white coat tells them, even in the face of the advice making NO sense what so ever.  It's called, abdicating your responsibilities onto someone else.  If the dr said, so, it must be true.