My intact 11 yo.....

[1pageatatime]

My ds is intact, and hasn't had a bath(as in soaking bath) for a lonngg time. He's only wanted to take showers for months now-maybe even a year?

This probably seems bad, but I keep forgetting to remind dh to talk to ds about keeping himself clean.

Further, other than his chiro appts. or occasional urgent care visits, he's not had a check-up for maybe 2 yrs?? Therefore, no one has seen him to be sure everything is just fine. I mean, when he was younger, I was *always* on top of this sort of thing, but as he got older, I've neglected this aspect of his care.

Should I be worried or concerned, as in, dh needs to check on him or I need to get him in for a check-up?

Thanks for any help!

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[MichelleZB]

Usually, it's that age where you just tell him if there's a problem, he should come to you. There probably isn't a problem so nothing has come up!

As for keeping himself clean, you can give him a little puberty talk about that! Soon he's going to grow extra hair and be a little extra smelly everywhere. You can have the awkward smelly teenager talk with him, and include penis care in that.

[1pageatatime]

Well, okay then. I was thinking if there had been any difference or problem/issue, that he'd tell us.

I'll leave the smelly, puberty talk to dh, but I'll pick up some books about his changing body, for good measure.
 

Thanks! And if anyone else has something to add, I'm all ears.

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[Alenushka]

Please, take him for a well child visit.  Many 11 year old are not good discussing things that are not right. This is the start of the "embarrassment age".

A good pediatrician will also provide a sensitive puberty talk and recommend books to both of you.

[1pageatatime]

Well, my dc never had the "normal" well-child visits to the dr, because I knew they were already "well."   It's been years since I last visited a ped, and ever since, I've been in search for just a GP I can tolerate.

Our ds is very introverted, so I highly doubt he would be open to such a discussion with someone new.

Okay-now I'm back to being worried. Or, anxious is probably the right word.

Kicking myself for not addressing this even a year ago.
 

Well, thanks again, and if anyone has anything to add, I'm all ears.

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[Alenushka]

All the more reason to find a good calm pedi now before the puberty. yelp.com reviews can be very helpfull . Healthgrades.com as well.

I actually thought all was well until we came for well visit at 13. Some boys have easier time talking to male doctors than mothers

[mama24-7]

Originally Posted by Alenushka 

All the more reason to find a good calm pedi now before the puberty. yelp.com reviews can be very helpfull . Healthgrades.com as well.

I actually thought all was well until we came for well visit at 13. Some boys have easier time talking to male doctors than mothers

I believe that you mean well,  but this post seems very fear based.  SUre having a good doctor (whether they be a ped or something else) is a good thing, but if mama can't find one, why pressure her?  It's not like she's blowing it off saying she's just not interested in doctors.  

I'm sorry to hear your ds had an issue.  His experience does not dictate every other 11 will-be-13 yo boy's experience however.  I think it is the rare child who will share with someone who is virtually a stranger, that there is a problem vs. a parent or someone else that they are close to.  I do hope his issue was taken care of quickly & he's suffered no consequences from it.

Best wishes,

Sus

[hakunangovi]

An intact penis is a self cleaning organ.  How many people have a talk with their DDs about cleaning the genitalia (as opposed to menstruation).  Not many I think.

This North American preoccupation with cleaning under foreskins is what causes most problems because it destroys the natural balance in the preputial cavity where Langerhan's cells produce anti bacterial substances.

[1pageatatime]

Originally Posted by hakunangovi 

An intact penis is a self cleaning organ.  How many people have a talk with their DDs about cleaning the genitalia (as opposed to menstruation).  Not many I think.

This North American preoccupation with cleaning under foreskins is what causes most problems because it destroys the natural balance in the preputial cavity where Langerhan's cells produce anti bacterial substances.

You make a very good, valid point, in addition to it being plain common sense.

I didn't realize my concerns were a "North American" preoccupation. Not sure why exactly I felt the need to even ask; perhaps because years ago when my dc were quite young, I'd read some nasty stories about "what if" situations.

Never hurts to ask, and I appreciate your educational reply.

[Escaping]

Originally Posted by 1pageatatime 

You make a very good, valid point, in addition to it being plain common sense.

I didn't realize my concerns were a "North American" preoccupation. Not sure why exactly I felt the need to even ask; perhaps because years ago when my dc were quite young, I'd read some nasty stories about "what if" situations.

Never hurts to ask, and I appreciate your educational reply.

I think it's just an "American" preoccupation 

When I read things here, I always ask my dad... he's the only one who will answer any of my new penis-related questions lol ...he keeps asking me "where are you getting these questions? whose penis are you obsessed with? just leave it alone!!" 

[sarafi]

Originally Posted by Escaping 

I think it's just an "American" preoccupation 

When I read things here, I always ask my dad... he's the only one who will answer any of my new penis-related questions lol ...he keeps asking me "where are you getting these questions? whose penis are you obsessed with? just leave it alone!!" 

I think your Dad rocks! Plain old common sense to the rescue, I'll be filing this away for the future as my sons are still quite small :-)

DS1 is seven, and I don't think I've seen his penis in a few years. He urinates easily and seems fine, so I'll call it good.

DS2 is four, and is starting to retract so I get the daily play-by-play of "what my penis can do". Again, no pain so I'm not worried.

I think when they're older a general "you need to make sure you wash your 'stinky parts'" will do and I'll let them decide what stinks--to a point :-)

[3girls1boy]

Yes, we have never given our 12 year old son any specific instructions about cleaning himself. I never did anything about his foreskin when I bathed him when he was younger. Haven't seen him naked in years. No problems.

[JenVose]

Also, I'd think in such a sensitive area, it would be somewhat obvious if further attention were needed - if there was an infection building, it would lead to irritation, increased fondling, etc.