ADHD and playdates

[Triniity]

Hi, 

I am wondering if anyone can help me or give me food for thought. 

Whenever my DD1 (nearly 7)  has friends over to play, DS (nearly 5)  wants to play with them, but he doesn' t really, he is wild and aggressive in his trying to be part of the game. 

Naturally, the girls don't want that and exclude him, that ends in fights and screaming and generally not a good time. 

He is not really open to doing something with me at that time, so it is really difficult to get him away from the girls. 

I think, it's a normal sibling problem, but the ADHD makes it much h arder (I guess). 

Any thoughts?

[~cassie]

My best thought would be to do a playdate for him at the same time and that way he will not feel left out but will leave his sister alone.

[melissa17s]

I think the ideas presented in this article might help some.  You can apply them to home and not just school.  I also would agree that you need to have plans or something for your ds to look forward to doing, so that he does not bother his sis.  

[LaughingHyena]

It's hard, I also struggle letting DD have friends round and then keeping DS out of their hair. For us I think inviting one of DSs friends round at the same time would be too much for me, he still needs a lot of supervision and guidance with children his own age

What does seem to help, ironically, is making it a regular thing. We have a certain day when DD usually has a friend round and that seems easier for him to cope with. We also remind all the children that if they are playing in common areas they can not exclude DS, if they want to play alone they go to DDs room.

If it's a longer playdate I also tend to come up with an activitiy all 3 children will enjoy, so far non has objected to decorating cupcakes, or make your own pizza. DS is much better with a more structured activity and that allows him to feel part of things.

It's not easy though, and I would love to hear how other families handle it,