Weekly Chat Thread - March 17th through March 23rd « Back to Group Discussions

[jodieanneanton]

Chat Away!!!!

Last week's chat thread here!

[scruffy too]

Happy Sunday everyone!  Hope some of you are relaxing. 

I'm 40 weeks today.  I had a couple good cramps last night right before bed, really low, like on either side of my public bone that stopped me in my tracks.  But then nothing, even slept okay and fell right back to sleep after each pee break.

DP got his wish, I didn't go into labour yesterday and he got to watch the UFC fights (as did the whole house and a couple of friends that came over). 

I'm not sure what my plans are for today, probably just some puttering about.  I'm trying to enjoy the last remaining days of my life while this baby is still REALLY easy to take care of. 

[Tear78]

scruffy, happy 40 weeks! I'm trying to think like you and enjoy the time I have while I'm still getting enough sleep, but anticipation is such a powerful force! BTW, your typo made me laugh...it's about to be a "public bone" indeed. Sorry, I'll stop.

[scruffy too]

Originally Posted by Tear78 
BTW, your typo made me laugh...it's about to be a "public bone" indeed. Sorry, I'll stop.

LOL!!!  I guess so, 'eh? 

[sunshinelove]

Yay for 40 weeks, Scruffy!! All this buildup to one little day, it feels something should happen but usually nothing does :-P. i'm sure you're feeling good about reaching it, though!

Today is also St. Patrick's Day! Wouldnt it be nice to drink some Guinness?? lol, oh well. Maybe next year!

[spughy]

Mmm Guinness...

Happy due date Scruffy!  LOL. 

Cabbitdancer I hope you're feeling better about everything today.  I really hope that your birth goes in a way that you can make peace with it.

I had a few good strong contractions in bed last night but nothing went anywhere.  I'm still in "hang in there baby!" mode until tomorrow late afternoon.  I had a (very) minor fender-crunch in the grocery store parking lot on Friday so I have to take the car into the insurance adjuster on Monday morning.  (Yay for being pregnant and getting an appointment so fast!  The insurance people were super-nice when I said "um, I'm like 9 months pregnant and due next week, so can we do this ASAP?" ) The crunch was not my fault, but only by virtue of me being 30 years younger with better reflexes than the other guy - I stopped a split-second before it happened (thanks to a honk from another car) but he kept going... his car didn't have any damage but some paint was scraped off our rear bumper and it's a painted bumper so that's going to be a PITA. 

Anyway.  We had a really nice day yesterday - FIL's 70th birthday party, just family and a relaxed afternoon potluck.  The house is still pretty tidy thanks to weekly family clean-ups and DH and I played with our new little Bissell upholstery/carpet cleaner gadget yesterday so the couch and office chair look much nicer than they have in... well, years. (yuck)  And we put batteries in the bouncy chair I bought used - the same model as we had for DD, the Ocean Wonders one with the bubbles and pretty music (yeah, it's totally for ME, not the baby!) and it's working and all good.  If I get bored later I have an old super-soft cotton bedsheet that might get turned into quick washcloths for baby, but I'm not really stressed about that because I remember we didn't really use cloths on DD for the first little bit anyway.

So all is set... I have a book club meeting tonight and it looks like I'll make it - no action signals coming from my uterus at this point - which is good.  We're discussing "Infidel" by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, and it was a super-interesting book and it should be a good discussion.  I'm not sure entirely where I stand on a lot of the stuff in it.  (Book club is pretty academic/intellectual, all of us are professionals/former professionals and a couple PhDs, half of us have lit/language degrees... it's not just social, it's an outlet for our nerdy academic sides and a way for those of us who are currently SAHPs to make our brains really work. We alternate contemporary non-fiction with classic fiction and that works really well - I didn't find Catcher in the Rye NEARLY as interesting before I was a parent!)

[Chapsie]

I had a wonderful "Baby Party" today.  My SIL reserved a room at a really neat restaurant and a bunch of my girlfriends got together for lunch.  There was 15 of us (my mom, sister, and mother in law included) and they all wrote really sweet encouragements and Bible verses down for me on index cards.  This pregnancy comes after two miscarriages, and they really wanted to celebrate how special that is.  My SIL baked a rainbow cake (each layer was a different color) and my sister brought rainbow balloons.  It was really special and sweet and I feel very loved!  :)   

“Rainbow Babies” is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn’t mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope."

[eternalw]

awww. chapsie. That is so special.

[sunshinelove]

I'm all teary-eyed now after reading about your special day and that beautiful quote, chapsie. I can only imagine how good that made you felt! How very loving of your family and girlfriends to celebrate you and your baby like that . I'm sure you will think back on this and smile for a long, long time.

[MrsBerkley]

Chapsie that really is the sweetest thing,I'm so happy you got to have that experience :)

[Chapsie]

The party really was incredibly sweet.  My sister shared a quote from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross:  

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

 

She was referencing the miscarriages and the scary near-fatal hemorrhage that I went through during the first loss.  This quote made me start bawling!  It was just such a beautiful sentiment!  In my almost 5 years of childbearing, I have experienced A LOT.  (induction, epidural, cesarean, PPD, mastitis, oversupply, natural VBAC, missed miscarriage, obstetric hemorrhage, transfusions, D+C, transfusion reaction, spontaneous miscarriage, more depression/grief, and now a beautiful, perfect, and amazing pregnancy and hopefully soon a home water birth!)  For my sister to understand exactly what I've been through and what I look forward to... it was just perfect!

 

 

I finally made it known to all my lady-friends at the party that we are planning a homebirth.  We had been pretty mum on the subject until now (although we've been planning on homebirth for the last two years), because I'm just so afraid of negative reactions.  I was pleasantly surprised that everyone was really supportive.  I even had two friends tell me that they really wanted to be there!  So far, the plan is for my friend and my one sister in law to be on stand-by to be there (they both have kids, so this way, if one can't make it due to lack of childcare or something, then the other one hopefully can still come and I'll at least have one friend there).  Their job is to play photographer/hostess so that my husband can focus solely on me and on enjoying this birth.  So, it will be my two friends (both of them have had homebirths, so they are by far my most positive supporters of home birth), my husband, my midwife, my midwife's assistant, and me at the birth.  (And the BABY!!!).  So, for my other two friends at the party to want to come... I think it would be great in theory, but I have no idea how I'm going to feel.  I probably will want to be alone and quiet and by myself.  How many people do you plan to have at your births?  My gut is to just say no.   I wish I could have all four of those friends there, but I'm thinking it'll just feel too crazy.  I don't really want an audience!  Haha.  I keep picturing myself ending up dragging a blanket into the corner of the closet and just giving birth there, lol.  

 

In other news... my new bedroom/bathroom is ALMOST done!!!!  DH is reinstalling the toilet as we speak, yay!  Hopefully, we'll be able to clear out the tools and put our bed in there tomorrow.  :)   It's so crazy to me to think that in the next week or two, I will finally be meeting this special little baby!!!   This is our last (probably!) so I'm feeling super nostalgic about everything!

[jodieanneanton]

Chapsie,  I'd go with your gut on the extra friends thing.  I found that I my needs during labor this time were very similar to what I had been anticipating my needs to be in the regard of how many people I wanted around... DH was even hands off and just checked in on me once in a while to see if I needed anything (When I would visualize my birth, I had imagined only wanting him there for a silent emotional support and not really 'NEEDING' him in the physical hands-on way that I had with DD1 and DD2 and it worked out that way.)  Maybe pray about it and do some visualization of how you'd like your birth to go... really listening to your inner self and not ignoring that small voice inside... and see where that takes you.  Also, I am sure they would understand if you ended up not knowing and saying something like, "I'd love to have friends around to support me during labor, but I don't know how private I will feel in the throes of labor.  Would you be comfortable with a maybe?" I had a friend who I had told that I wanted there for my labor when I was pregnant with Papaya (my second loss).  When I finally got pregnant this last time, prayer and visualization made me  pretty sure I'd want to be essentially left alone.  But I didn't want to hurt this friend's feelings.  She ended up telling me that she'd love to be there but she was ok with anything I decided in the moment... that she was ok with a call that said, "come now" or a call that said, "I just had a baby!"  It was such a relief to know I didn't have to make a decision... Maybe you could do something like that if you end up not able to decide.

[Chapsie]

Originally Posted by jodieanneanton 

Chapsie,  I'd go with your gut on the extra friends thing.  I found that I my needs during labor this time were very similar to what I had been anticipating my needs to be in the regard of how many people I wanted around... DH was even hands off and just checked in on me once in a while to see if I needed anything (When I would visualize my birth, I had imagined only wanting him there for a silent emotional support and not really 'NEEDING' him in the physical hands-on way that I had with DD1 and DD2 and it worked out that way.)  Maybe pray about it and do some visualization of how you'd like your birth to go... really listening to your inner self and not ignoring that small voice inside... and see where that takes you.  Also, I am sure they would understand if you ended up not knowing and saying something like, "I'd love to have friends around to support me during labor, but I don't know how private I will feel in the throes of labor.  Would you be comfortable with a maybe?" I had a friend who I had told that I wanted there for my labor when I was pregnant with Papaya (my second loss).  When I finally got pregnant this last time, prayer and visualization made me  pretty sure I'd want to be essentially left alone.  But I didn't want to hurt this friend's feelings.  She ended up telling me that she'd love to be there but she was ok with anything I decided in the moment... that she was ok with a call that said, "come now" or a call that said, "I just had a baby!"  It was such a relief to know I didn't have to make a decision... Maybe you could do something like that if you end up not able to decide.

Such good advice!  Thanks, Jodie!

[spughy]

Chapsie if it helps, the reason I'm having a hospital birth this time is so that I can have FEWER people around.  (Home births here require a second midwife, and DD would be around with grandma pretty much the whole time - whereas in the hospital it'll just be me, DH, midwife and doula, with an intermittent nurse.)  But my house is really small - if you can retreat someplace in your house and shut out the extra bustle, I'm sure it'll be fine and a "hostess" would probably be welcome.

[storygirlcindy]

Chapsie - I agree with the others. The most important thing is for YOU to feel comfortable in your birth experience, right? I'm a very social person, but even before I hit the end-of-pregnancy funk and wanted to hole up in a cave (LOL), I have never liked the idea of having too many people at my birth. I don't even want my mom there, despite the fact that we are extremely close and the timing might actually work out for that to be possible now that I am past my EDD. Just me, my husband, and our doula. I think it's totally appropriate to gently thank the friends for their offers but explain that you are feeling like you will probably want more privacy during your birth this time around.

AFM: My husband, who has a stellar immune system and gets sick maybe 1-2 times a year, has had a cold for the past 3 days. I know it's a pretty big deal when he lays on the couch and does nothing for basically 3 solid days - not only is he usually over everything in 24 hours, but he is a big fan of the "I'm fine, just leave me alone" approach. I was really hoping that yesterday would be the peak and he'd wake up feeling a lot better this morning, but... no luck. I'm feeling so frustrated with the timing of all of this right now - this is literally the first time in probably a year that he's had a cold, and here I am, waiting to potentially go into labor any day. I'm worried about the potential possibility of him being sick while I'm in labor - both because I feel like he won't be able to offer as much support, because he will be much needier himself, and because it just seems like a potentially bad situation to expose a brand new newborn to a cold at this time of year. Making the situation even more complicated, I am super worried about myself. In our whole marriage I have never managed to not get a bug that DH has had, but because of my health problems (cystic fibrosis) even a mild cold for me usually turns into a severe lung infection that requires hospitalization. I am worried that I will get his cold and even if it isn't that bad to begin with, the physical exhaustion of labor/delivery and newborn care (which WILL definitely happen sometime in the next 10 days!) will be enough to push it over the edge into something really serious. I absolutely won't contemplate the thought of getting admitted to the hospital (always a 2 week stay) and leaving my brand new baby at home, so I am definitely made nervous by those possibilities! Anyway... just kind of feeling grumpy and frustrated this morning that after an incredibly healthy pregnancy in which I have literally almost not left the house and been rewarded by not getting seriously ill the whole time (a HUGE deal for me), here we are in the final days and I am worried that a) DH will be sick and not as much help when I'm in labor and b) I'll get it and end up really sick after the baby comes.

Oh... and then, on a much pettier note, I'm annoyed that he's sick because of course I'd rather the baby come a little later, when he's feeling better, but I am so physically run down and in enough pain most of the time that I am just dying to not be pregnant anymore. So I feel annoyed because now I can't even hope that the baby comes today, LOL!

Good "everyone-get-healthy" vibes sent our way would be appreciated!!!

[scruffy too]

StoryGirl - sending LOTS of get well / don't get sick vibes your way.  I know how I felt when DP got sick two weeks ago, I was panicking at the thought of going into labour with a sick partner.  Thankfully, we're both better now.  My MW also said that babies very rarely come when mom is sick, they just kinda hunker down for the ride, and that gave me hope that *I* wouldn't go into labour while I was sick (despite coughing so bad I thought I'd break my water!)

[sunshinelove]

Storygirl--oh no, that is really awful and scary!! . Why hasnt he stayed at a relative's or a friend's house during his illness to make it much less likely for you to catch it? I really hope you don't get sick!! Do whatever you can to stay as far away as possible from his germs. You getting sick is no small thing, especially so close to giving birth!

[scruffy too]

Happy handwashing!  

[storygirlcindy]

Thanks guys! Sunshine, I thought of that, but first off there isn't really anywhere he could stay, and secondly, this is one of those colds that sort of started off slow and then picked up steam - so I'd already spent a solid day or two with him by the time we realized he really WAS sick and it wasn't just allergies or something. So for better or for worse, I'm exposed. I AM a bit encouraged  by the fact that I haven't started showing signs of being sick yet. My hope now is that he can get over it ASAP, we can do a massive washing of clothes & bed linens and get the germs away, and maybe I'll squeak by. I've also been doing some research and feel a little better about my options, since it seems that one of the oral antibiotics that I tend to respond well to is OK to take while BFing, and so I will probably talk to my OB about getting a prescription for that for as soon as I deliver in hopes that if I do get sick I can catch it fast enough that it won't be serious enough for hospitalization. Here's hoping!!! Poor DH is so miserable though. For his sake too, I hope he's better soon! He's not a "man cold" kinda guy - more the opposite, the "pretend everything's fine and move on," so the fact that he actually took work off today and hasn't done anything but lay around and read makes me feel pretty bad for the poor guy!

[chocolatechip]

eternalw - I'm due on March 29th, so just four days after you! I'm glad your baby is in a better position too. It's nice when those contractions actually seem like they might be doing something useful. 

chapsie - yay for getting things clean and organized, and for awesome SILs! Also, that baby party sounds wonderful, and the rainbow baby quote was beautiful.

cabbit - I'm sorry to hear the baby is staying breech. I hope you can find a place to be satisfied with whatever ends up happening. 

SamSarah - I hadn't really thought about it that way, but you're right, it was kind of nice knowing what a cervical check would be like! And it's kind of nice to know that I'm soft and squishy and ready to go when the baby is.  I'm not really trying any induction stuff yet. If the baby wants to stay in until early April, that's fine (since my due date's at the end of the month).

Scruffy - I really like the perspective of having some fun while the baby's easy to take care of. Even when feeling super pregnant, you're right, the baby just goes along with things!

spughy - glad that the fender bender wasn't too bad! Still, not what you need at this stage of the game. Your book club sounds awesome - someday I will find a bookclub to participate in that reads the right kind of books for me.

I've been pretty lucky with having very few people asking if the baby's here yet or if anything's happening. My grandmother called yesterday, all apologetic that she was calling, but saying that she hoped she had special grandma dispensation to check in. LOL. She does! But even she just wanted to know how I was doing in general, not so much "is anything happening yet?!??!"

I have also noticed the forum quieting down, which is a little sad, but totally understandable! Also, I've been really busy recently, so it's been kind of nice to feel like I could keep up without spending quite as much time.  But I'm really glad to see people's updates!

It sounds like several of us are having signs that things are progressing. Guess it makes sense since we're a March DDC. It's kind of fun to be feeling like we're all nearing the end, though!

I have been feeling way more pregnant ever since the bout of contractions on Wednesday. Baby feels lower, feels like it's taking up more room, I'm starting to get annoyed when baby stretches too frequently, because it feels so uncomfortable, bladder definitely has less space, walking isn't quite as fun... Whew! And it's also super clear now that doing too much physical stuff (even if just walking) results in contractions. Which is not how I want to go into labor - I want to be rested! Last night I felt like every time I hauled myself out of bed to go to the bathroom, the hauling effort caused a contraction. This morning still wasn't great, but after a three hour nap this afternoon, things seem to have sorted out.