I'm pregnant with my 4th child at age 41. My others are 11, 8 and 5. When I first got the BFP, I immediately freaked out about all the "high risk" stuff having to do with my age. The more I read, the more I'm calming down and actually starting to feel excited about this baby. Is there anyone else out there in my shoes?
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Anyone here over 40?post #1 of 413/18/13 at 1:20amThread Starterpost #2 of 413/18/13 at 6:02ampost #3 of 413/18/13 at 8:38ampost #4 of 413/18/13 at 12:07pmpost #5 of 413/22/13 at 11:30ampost #6 of 413/25/13 at 8:16ampost #7 of 413/25/13 at 8:57ampost #8 of 414/4/13 at 9:21pmThread Starterpost #9 of 414/5/13 at 6:19am
I'm 38, turning 39 on Monday. This is my second baby, the first is 21 months old now.
Regarding CVS, during my last pregnancy I had the double test and they came up with a 1 in 14 chance of genetic problems. We looked at the numbers and made the decision based on this:
We had a 1 in 14 chance that there would be something wrong.
There is a 1 in 100 to 1 in 400 chance of a miscarriage after a CVS or amnio (depending on what info you look at)
We as a couple knew that if there was a problem, we wouldn't abort our baby.
This means that if I had a CVS, in that tiny chance that it caused a miscarriage, there would be a 13 in 14 chance that the baby that died because of it was perfectly normal. We were quite happy to live with having a special needs child, we didn't want an abortion, so we didn't want to take that even small risk of causing some kind of problem or miscarriage to a perfectly normal fetus.
And when it came down to it, with my 1 in 14 risk, I had a perfectly normal little boy, meanwhile a friend of mine who had the test the same month as me with a result of 1 in 600 and something, and had a baby with Down's Syndrome. 1 in 14 is the same as a 93% chance of everything being alright. Those odds were fine with me.
We're not doing a double test this time. It was too much stress.post #10 of 414/5/13 at 10:02am
No CVS or amnio for us either. We would not terminate under any circumstances. And actually, my Dr. doesn't recommend it routinely. However, she would like me to see a specialist later on to check for heart issues though, because of my age, which I will do because it would only involve an ultrasound.
post #11 of 414/8/13 at 10:01am
I am just trying to wrap my mind around having #3 in my 40's ... jeez, when did I get so old? I found out about a new test called MaterniT 21 ... it's very exciting, as it's a blood draw from the Mom at 10.5 weeks, so not invasive... and it's very accurate, and can identify Down Syndrome, as well as Trisomy 13 & 18. It's more accurate than the nuchal translucency that we had with both of our previous kids. We will still do an amnio, as it tests for many more things. But it will be a big relief to find out if the common chromosomal issues are present or not before 2nd trimester. Also, the MaterniT 21 test can tell you if you're having a boy or a girl.post #12 of 414/8/13 at 11:28ampost #13 of 414/9/13 at 5:47pm
Heya, I'm only 31, but am chiming in to cheer on the rest of y'all! My mom was 39 years old when she had my older sister and 41 when she had me, and we were her only pregnancies (due to what was likely undiagnosed PCOS). We are both happy, healthy, well-adjusted people, and both agree that having an older mom was huge asset to us. Sure, she sometimes got mistaken for our grandmother, but more often than that, she was mistaken for being much younger than she was... Not just because of how old my sister and I were, but also because she was (and is!) a very relaxed, playful parent, which she attributes to having already seen (and helped) her peers raise their kids in the decades before we came along. I'm glad I had such a great role-model for my own parenting journey.
Good luck to you all!post #14 of 415/7/13 at 3:58pm
Thank goodness I found a forum for older moms on here. I just turned 40 in April and nearly 6 weeks pregnant with my FIRST baby. Not only first baby, but first pregnancy. I am so excited and scared at the same time. I just hope all is okay. It doesn't help having friends and family, etc harping about how 'high risk' it is. I'm focusing on staying positive right now.
Is there a point where you can stop worrying a little? Maybe after the first 12 weeks?post #15 of 415/8/13 at 8:53am
Congratulations Littlestarlet! Relax and enjoy.....after 12 weeks your risks do go down. But Im there with you....Im pregnant with baby number 2 and will be 39 before the little one gets here. No-one likes to be described as high risk just because of age. I was high risk with baby number 1 when I was 36. You have already beaten so many odds in conceiving and if you are a healthy 40 you are probably in much better shape than some who are younger and not so healthy. Relax and enjoy your pregnancy.post #16 of 415/8/13 at 3:19pm
Thank you, friend! That's certainly encouraging to hear that from others in the same boat. I am learning to relax a little more each day and keep telling myself to enjoy this experience. I just can't believe I am actually pregnant. I just knew my window was gone. What an absolute miracle this is.
Good luck to y'all as well! Yay babies!
post #17 of 415/9/13 at 10:31pmThread Starter
Well, after weighing all the risks and benefits, and realizing how extremely anxious I was about the risk of chromosome issues, DH and I decided to go ahead and do the CVS. It was the most painful experience I've ever been through! I'm in the UAE, and they apparently default to the needle-in-the-abdomen version of the procedure. There is nothing out there on the Internet that could have prepared me for it. Holy moly! I actually screamed when the needle was coming out, and I'm not generally a screamer.
Anyway, in the end all was well.
My baby has no chromosome-related issues, and I am so relieved. I feel like I can finally be just plain excited without that nagging worry in the back of my mind. And, I found out she's a girl!
I had decided early on that this is my opportunity to finally have the homebirth I've been wanting. I wanted one with my third, but a CNM set me up with a doula who's main job--I realized later--was to talk me out of it. And she did. I was new in the city and was looking to plug into the Natural Family Living community, but instead I landed flat in medical-land. She planted all sorts of doubts in my mind and I ended up having a hospital birth. It was fine as far as that goes--the CNM really did protect me from too many unnecessary interventions. But I did have to endure a hep lock, the nurse harassing the midwife to call a doctor when my labor didn't progress on the hospital's schedule, and having to stay awake all night to hold my baby because the nurses were just waiting for me to fall asleep so they could put him in their bassinet.
Midwives are not permitted to attend homebirths here in the UAE--there are harsh penalties if they do--and many women here have unassisted homebirths. But then there's the whole bureaucratic nightmare of having to explain why your child was not born in a hospital in order to get a birth certificate.
So I've decided to travel to my parents' house in Georgia and having my homebirth there! I've found a midwife who is willing to work with me long distance (I am seeing an OB here for prenatals) and my parents are incredibly supportive of the whole thing. I'm really excited now. Bursting, actually :-)
I'm still quite nauseous and having a strong aversion to beef and lamb. How's everyone else feeling?post #18 of 415/11/13 at 5:31pm
First, congratulations on the baby being fine! That's so exciting...and sounds like it was really painful as well! I've had the amnio done before, which is a needle through the abdomen, and it didn't seem like more than a pinch. I just submitted blood for the MaterniT21 test...so in about 2 weeks will find out if the baby is ok for 3 possible trisomy issues, and the gender too. I still plan on doing the amnio, but I'm sure I'll be calmer if this test comes back fine.post #19 of 415/12/13 at 5:55pm
Great news on the results of your CVS Laura!
I am 41, and definitely have thought about the high risk issues. I chose not to have the amnio or CVS though because I am worried about the risk of miscarriage. But I did get the nuchal translucency ultrasound and bloodtest and waiting on bloodtest results. I don't know if this is the test that tells the sex also, but I am not finding out anyway.post #20 of 415/15/13 at 4:17pmI am pregnant with #3 and I am 41. Pretty happy to find this group of "older" moms looking at the same issues as me. I had my son at 35 and my daughter at almost 38, and they were both no-complications homebirths. By some standards, all my pregnancies have been high risk - I mostly haven't worried about it. We may have an ultrasound this time around, but right now no plans for any other testing. We have talked about it, though, and may ask for advice from our midwife. Anyway...hi! And congratulations to all of you!
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