What did you have to give up...

[accountclosed15]

To get where you are today as a single parent?

For me, I the hardest thing I had to give up was our dog. He was 119lbs and no apartment complex would take him nor would any rentals. It was so hard but I was able to place him in a lovely home and I do get to see him now and then and he is thriving. It broke my heart because I tried for 4 months to find the right living situation so I could take him but that was impossible. I was able to bring our cat but I cried for weeks/months over the dog. :(

I also have given up ever owning a house. I simply cannot do it on my own, even something tiny. I have made peace with this but sometimes, just sometimes, I look at something small but realize unless it's move in ready, I cannot buy it. I am not handy and I am not Martha Stewart. I don't like to spend hours on yardwork and like being able to come and go quickly, with no worry. I could spend some money on making a small home habitable but I wouldn't even know where to begin and nor do I have the time to supervise anything.

Along with that house, I gave up all the CRAP that was in it. I literally gave away a moving van of stuff.

I was never a shopper but I have really had to put the brakes on what I call the "little" things that sneak into the home- a candy bar, a coffee, a little toy, etc. I do try to buy myself and my son a treat once a month but those little amounts add up.

I had to give up certain "friends" but I guess they are not my friends if they are not here for me now. This also means I gave up certain volunteering opportunities and the church we belonged too because it was just to awkward.

Once DS graduates and moves on, I will also be giving up this town. I think I need to make a fresh start. That would be for another 10 years, but DS is the only thing tying me to this town. I don't want to swap schools on him. He is thriving and I don't want to mess that up.

What actually is a positive is I was able to give up ideas or thoughts on what I THOUGHT I believed in. Everything from marriage to religion to how DS is raised and everything in between. I now have freedom to truly think for myself and not be formed by someone else in the house who wants all the control. That is a positive.

Edited by accountclosed15 - 3/19/13 at 2:22pm

[hillymum]

LVNTEXAS, that must have been heart breaking giving up your dog. The thought of having to give up my pets left me in tears! So glad you at least get to see him!

I don't know if I actually gave up anything because of the divorce other than health insurance.I am sooo lucky in that when I was given notice to move out of the marital home I only looked at about 2 houses and the second one was perfect, and would let me keep my 60lb dog! We probably will not be able to afford Florida beach vacations for a long time, but that's a luxury. If anything our standard of living has increased as I am now in charge of out finances, not the ex,  If anyone had to give anything up it is ex, who is now in debt up to his eyeballs, living with his parents, girlfriend, her son and their new baby daughter in a dirty 3 bedroom house. I got the 3 yr old car, he got the 11 yr old gas guzzling minivan, so I scored on that.

    I only "lost" one friend and I really needed to anyway, so no real loss there.

    I don't think I can really think of one thing I feel deprived of, and find it very easy to count my blessings every day! I do know I am ultra fortunate in that my children can survive well on the support we receive, and put some away in savings (so at some point we will have a lovely vacation).  

[josie423]

I gave up virtually all of my possessions, and my childrens'. My ex didn't know I was leaving, he was violent and scary so I did it when he was out for the day and took only the bare necessities I could fit in my van. I haven't had any contact with him for going on 3 months and don't intend to so there's really no way to get any of the things I want. Oh well!

[accountclosed15]

Blessings Josie!!! I am glad you were able to leave a violent situation.