or Connect
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › things my baby has taught me

things my baby has taught me

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 

from serious to silly, what have you learned from motherhood so far?

 

 

today it occurred to me that eating is now a race to nourish myself while baby is happy/distracted/napping, rather than the enjoyment of a nice meal.

post #2 of 22

lol!  ^^^often so true!

 

sometimes people scream at you, a lot, and if you keep kissing them, and snuggling them, it hurts a lot less than if you get angry and scream back.  it's harder to do this at first, but so much more fulfilling.  

 

everything is more bearable when someone who loves you has their arms wrapped tight around you.  

 

hanging out in a (bouncy) chair by the woodstove is very very comforting.  especially when the rest of the house is cold.

 

peeing is no longer a private duty.  in fact, most things are no longer allowed to be done alone unless you're willing to rush things.  everything is a communal activity.  

 

sleep is a privilege, and i haven't yet earned the rights to it for more than a 5 hour stretch.

post #3 of 22

I say things I never imagined myself saying.  Not like things my mother said to me (though that can happen, too) but things like "please stop sucking on the bathtub".  

 

Everything is so much easier when I get a little more sleep.  Now I know how my toddlers felt when they really needed a nap.

 

I have the best, most rewarding, most tiring, most joyful, most frustrating, did I say most tiring? job that I could have ever imagined.  I had no idea what I was getting myself into with this motherhood gig but I can't imagine doing anything else with this season of my life.

 

Boys are so loud.  Maybe girls are, too.  I'll know soon enough.

 

Boys can also be really gentle when there is a new baby in their home.

 

Motherhood has taught me to really appreciate my amazing body.  

 

I continue to learn how to balance caring for others and taking care of myself.  

 

And this new babe is teaching me to not shout at her brothers too much, because it startles her.  And that, sometimes, we just need a good cry before we can sleep well.  

post #4 of 22

Showers only actually take 2 minutes, any longer and you're on borrowed time

 

The person I am while functioning on virtually no sleep for a month is quite different from the person I was beforehand, but in ways I wasn't expecting. It's like I know that I'm running on 10-15% of my normal energy, so I choose where to use it up more wisely. I can't be bothered with trivial things anymore.

 

People (especially cashiers) are able to understand what you're trying to communicate so long as most of the words are there, even if they aren't in the right order.

 

Before childbirth there were a lot of little things here and there that I would focus on in the mirror and be frustrated with, but I find that now I am really comfortable and forgiving with my body.

post #5 of 22

A cruise? Time at the beach? No longer needed! A long shower or an hour at the gym are like an awesome vacation.

 

Even a 20 minute nap can make a big difference in the rest of my day.

 

Toddlers often decide they need something exactly when baby has to nurse...

post #6 of 22
Thread Starter 

i never thought i would think it's cute when someone farts. seriously. it's the funniest/cutest thing ever.

apply this to straining-to-poop-face, too.

 

it used to be that i would try to not move when i had a sleeping kitty on me. now, i will not move if there is a sleeping baby on me. i can go from 8pm to 4-5am while sleeping in the same position, ignoring the screaming cramp in my arm that is cradling her.

 

i also find myself wanting to get a king size bed instead of our queen, because i know that i will want a family bed, and for naomi to want to cuddle with me forever. i love her so much i could explode.

post #7 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by kellybeth View Post

 

i also find myself wanting to get a king size bed instead of our queen, because i know that i will want a family bed, and for naomi to want to cuddle with me forever. i love her so much i could explode.

Our king bed is the best. I seriously don't know what we'd do without it!

post #8 of 22
Yep, we have 2 queen beds pushed together. Takes the word BEDroom to a whole new level. It's the best, we love our family snuggles.
post #9 of 22

Love this thread stillheart.gif

 

We only have a queen and some nights it's a little cramped! Our older two have their own bedroom but one or both of them still make visits to us most nights.

post #10 of 22
Quote:

i also find myself wanting to get a king size bed instead of our queen, because i know that i will want a family bed, and for naomi to want to cuddle with me forever. i love her so much i could explode.

we got a king when dd1 was a year old.  We had both girls with us until about 2 months ago.  Now we have DD1 in a twin in our room, but on the opposite wall, and DD2 and DS in our bed.  We tried it with DD1s bed next to ours, but she was pushing back into the king and there was just not enough room.  I miss DD1, but she is doing great and she is still in our room and I snuggle with her to get her to fall asleep, so it is not so bad.....

post #11 of 22
I'm still working on learning this but she has taught me that even though I feel like I don't know what im doing I need to trust myself more and relax even when things aren't going perfectly or like I thought they would in my head. I needed to trust my body to provide for her too - I'm finally there!
post #12 of 22
Thread Starter 
Jenny isn't it amazing that we nourish our babies? It's still so cool to me.

Although i know i want a family bed, hubby isn't very keen/open to it. i hope he will open his mind to it the older naomi gets. i know right now it's fear-based, and i understand that from his pov.
post #13 of 22
Being a parent has already made me a better person. I am terrible to ask for help (don't want to "bother" folks) or to get advice (vs. trying to research a subject independently), but within hours of having engorgement issues, I called my midwife, got 3 PP doulas to help me (a new one every day for 3 days, as they each had scheduling issues), etc. It was just too important to me to make breastfeeding work for Miss L.
post #14 of 22

This is a awesome thread thank you for making me laugh.  I needed it!  Since you guys mention sleeping...what do those of you that co-sleep with older children do when you want to put baby to bed but have older children in the bed?  I usually try to put her in the bouncer but I want her to start getting used to the bed and being in it without me always there...I want to have sex ok?!   I would never leave her bed with her kicky older brother..maybe its time to move her out.

 

Mothering has taught me that my intuition is stronger than so many other things in this world.  It has also taught me to love myself and my body, I look at pictures even after number 1 and I am like damn I'm hot which leads me to the other lesson which is to live in the present moment and breathe deeply.  The last lesson is that I am the main person responsible for protecting my kids, so standing up to authority figures is inevitable.
 

post #15 of 22

I've learned to accept help in whatever undignified, possibly naked position I might be in. That was not easy through the birth and time at the hospital but the minute I let it all go it stopped mattering.

 

I've learned it takes a village to care for a newborn and a mommy after birth (OK so actually a small slave army might be more apt)

 

I've learned to be skeptical of advice. I've ignored some advice from really OCD parents this past week on setting up a feeding schedule and just let our little guy decide how long he wants to sleep for and nothing terrible happened except occasionally sore breasts when he passes the three hour mark.

 

I've learned that every day, week, month is bound to be different and my easy going guy might be a little monster at another point.

post #16 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnahataChakra View Post

Since you guys mention sleeping...what do those of you that co-sleep with older children do when you want to put baby to bed but have older children in the bed?  I usually try to put her in the bouncer but I want her to start getting used to the bed and being in it without me always there...I want to have sex ok?!   I would never leave her bed with her kicky older brother..maybe its time to move her out.

 

 

I don't put a new baby in bed with older siblings until baby is able to *really* take care of his/her own head, maybe even able to roll over.  So this means baby doesn't get put into the bed without me until a few months from now (maybe longer, I can't remember when we did that with ds2).  And the older kids are a whole bed away from where the baby will be (we have 2 queens pushed together).  So right now baby is out with us in the living room while older kids are asleep in bed.  I'm either holding her or maybe, if we're really lucky, we can put her down asleep in the swing or bouncer for 10 minutes and get a quickie in the living room.  It's just what works for now and we know it won't be this way forever.  

Day time (when she tends to sleep better) on the weekends ends up being better time for anything other than a quickie.  She's still with us but we get longer chunks of time before she wakes.  Nothing like taking a nursing break in the middle of foreplay.  :-p

 

And my older boys got used to the bed (as opposed to a bouncer or swing) and it just works out in time.  Each kid was different, though.  DS1 was *really* hard to sneak away from once I had nursed him to sleep in bed, but eventually we figured it out.  DS2 *had* to be nursed to sleep in the living room and then transfered to the bed.  If I nursed him in bed he would twist around and want to play.

post #17 of 22

my newbie has taught me that every baby really is different. it sounds obvious, but he is so different for being #4..  I'm currently hunting down a ring sling i had for #1 and never used becasue i think this is finally the baby who will love it.. (i have plenty of other carriers i've been using)
 

we also have a king size bed and seriously wouldn't have it any other way.. 

post #18 of 22
I don't put baby in bed alone with sibling until maybe 6-9 months? I put dd2 in when she was I think 8 months but she was on the small side. Ds is really big, so I will feel comfortable when he is crawling and has lots of control of his body. I usually put a pillow between the kids.

Now we put him in a bouncer if we want alone time. He didn't do well if he is not attached to me at night, but we have got a few times alone.
post #19 of 22
Thread Starter 
Lesson learned: don't watch america's funniest home videos while finally getting baby to sleep in your arms.
post #20 of 22
Best thread ever! I've been trying to think of things to add... nothing gold right now, just a stream of consciousness.

Babies can feel when their mamas and papas disagree. Also, papas need to shave before giving raspberries. Water is an involuntary craving at letdown. A baby's need of fresh air is a subtle wedge against PPD - just as a baby's need for movement at crankytime is encouragement for mama's legs to work it out on the hallway stairs. The most attached mamas will be surprised when their suddenly-independent LOs fall asleep, during a mother-daughter conversation, in their bouncer. The cat is surprisingly heavy, and dangerous, when treading on bedcovers concealing an infant - and this realization may illicit mama-bear-reactive feline-tossing (and ensuing papa-chastising).

Ugh, no sleep for too long. I applaud anyone able to decipher that... goodnight!
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: February 2013 Due Date Club
Mothering › Groups › February 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › things my baby has taught me