painful sex? « Back to Group Discussions

[STLmama225]

Anyone else having painful sex?  Or, not having sex because it's painful?  My libido came back with pretty full force at about 10 weeks, but sex just HURTS a lot every time we try...which isn't very often because the pain scares me and the whole experience bums out DH (me being in pain/no sex for him).  I had a bad 2nd degree tear, almost a 3rd degree.  Although I had a homebirth, I received sutures by my OB at the hospital per my midwife's recommendation.  However, I am told that my tear healed perfectly.  Honestly, it feels like I have tiny micro tears on my vaginal wall, because it's not really entry that hurts but the thrusting (even super slow/gentle movement), and because when we used KY jelly it burned like hell.  It feels *really* tight in there, like the first time I ever had sex.  I'm currently taking some herbal vaginal suppositories hoping they will help (although as of last night, they haven't).  Any suggestions?  Thanks!

[Simonsez2u]

I don't have much advice just wanted to say how sorry I am you are going through something like this.  FWIW I have experienced third degree tears with my last two births and I was back in the *ahem* saddle within the 6 week mark.  Maybe you should approach your OB again and see if he/she can come up with a reason.  Could they possibly have stitched you up to tight?  Could you have an yeast infection?  I don't know, if it continues I would definitely keep pressuring you OB for an answer. 
 

[kateaton]

with my 2nd dd sex was really uncomfortable for at least 6 months- I can only describe it as a rugburn feeling (even with lubricant).  And I have no idea why since I didn't even tear with her.  But it did heal and things went back to normal, but it took time.

[sere234]

Maybe the KY jelly is irritating you? Try using coconut oil, it can be messy but shouldn't irritate you. And yeah, I second going back to your OB just to get it checked out. Sex was scary but didn't hurt like that when we restarted.

[STLmama225]

Thanks for the suggestions, mamas! We do use coconut oil as lube, which is not irritating to me, but it doesn't seem to work very well with condoms (my fertility is back). I suppose my OB may have stitched me up too tight but my vaginal opening feels bigger to me than before, so I don't think that's the problem.

[MrsKoehn]

I had that problem from virgin bride to birth of Ana (4 yrs). The time after that it was fine, since, its back to that even though I have a bigger opening now because of the tear. My mw said it was pretty tight in there before. I just suffer through it, but he always asks if it hurts and can tell when it does. Usually it's just the entry that's the worst. I assumed I have vaginismus, there's a .com website about it and they helped me out a lot after we first married.

[PacificMar]

Oh, I'm sorry you're going through this, STLMama... I agree with the other posters about seeing your provider for assistance.

Another possible cause is the low estrogen levels common until the fertility cycle returns. Once the cycle resumes, the higher estrogen levels nourish the vaginal mucous membranes and makes them more elastic. Before that, the tissue tends to be thinner and more easily irritated (hence the sandpaper or rug-burn-like sensation). If this is the cause, then your provider might prescribe a topical estrogen cream, which can reduce the local discomfort, with a reduced likelihood that it'll come through the breast milk and affect the baby. 

I hope this soon resolves!

[babychak]

YES. My practitioner prescribed me an estrogen cream for the reason PacificMar stated. Apparently it takes 6 weeks to take full effect but I saw improvement after a week and a half and we successfully did it the other night. Still hurt at first but once we got going it was better. I was hesitant to use the cream but I didn't want to abstain until I'm done breastfeeding (which will hopefully be quite a while!). If you do go the estrogen cream route, make sure to ask for the synthetic kind- the other stuff is made from horse urine and there's all kinds of mistreatment involved. :(

[PacificMar]

Another thing to consider would be a visit to a physical therapist or other practitioner who specializes in pelvic-floor therapy. This can be helpful for any postpartum recovery situation: urinary incontinence, discomfort during sex, etc.