When to tell big siblings « Back to Group Discussions

[smlame]

Tomorrow is our 6 week ultrasound and if all is good, we are thinking we'll tell our kiddos (5 and 2.5) about the little bean.  Our 5 year old is quite intuitive and very much in our business so I would be surprised if she doesn't already know on some level. Just curious about other people's thoughts on when to tell older siblings....have you told them already?  do you try to wait for 12 weeks?

[andi-mama]

We are waiting to tell our older kids until 12 weeks because telling them=telling the whole world. There's no way they could keep it a secret :)

[SilaMarila]

We are also planning on waiting to tell our almost 3.5 yr old. Not because he wouldn't understand if something went wrong with this pregnancy and we had to un tell, but more because time moves so slowly for little ones and they don't really have a lot of concept of time longer than a day or so lol. He's already going to be asking every single day if the baby is coming yet, so it only seems fair to minimize some of that and make it a little shorter wait if possible. I agree, that by then, he may know something's up anyways :) And I don't want him telling him grandparents...

[SparkleMaman]

So, I had planned to wait a little longer to tell my DD, she's 9 yo. But she found a text I sent my DH the morning I had my Beta to confirm at 4 weeks. I jokingly wrote, "It's official! I'm knocked up :)" She saw the message that night and wanted to know what knocked up was. Not my finest parenting moment. She was SO excited though, which was super fun. At first she thought we were joking and then was jumping up and down squealing and hugged me, telling me, "thank you, thank you, thank you!!" As soon as she knew, nearly our whole school knew (I teach Middle and Upper School students in the same school where she is in the Lower School), the not so great part from my perspective. Ideally, I would have waited until my first U/S and then told her. But, it is what it is!! I agree with you, Sila, time does move differently for little ones and the waiting is oh so hard. I don't know that there is any one ideal time or way to share, whatever you are comfortable with and works for you. Or that's my

And Sila, so excited to see you here. I've been a Scenic Route lurker for some time Cheering you all on. Congratulations, mama!!

[superbeans]

I can't wait to tell mine!! But like others have said, telling them = telling the world. So as excited as I am I keep on waiting....

[SilaMarila]

SparkleMaman - Thank you. I also recognize you from lurking on other threads lol. I haven't officially joined, but I'm very hopeful and have been reading along and posting a little. Everyone knowing is exactly what I don't want to happen! So we'll keeping waiting it out. How exciting for your 9yo! I think our 3.5yo has quite a bit less patience. I mean we planted some strawberry seeds in a little pot on Sunday and he asks to look at them 1978379587x a day to see if they are growing yet...

Children's intuition is amazing though and I guarantee even our young ones will "know" before we think they do.

[Sleepymama]

Mine are 10 and 7 and I'd like to tell them soonish but DH really wants to wait until 12 weeks when the chance of m/c is lower. I'm having some early testing week 9-10 and I think I can convince him to go with that. We haven't told any family yet either. They have no clue that they would ever get another sibling. We had told them a couple years ago when they asked that we were happy with our family. So I'm not at all sure how they will react!

[Starfish11]

DD flat out asked me last night and I smoothed over the question.  A classic spin doctor parenting moment.  She's going to be so excited when she does know.  She's only 4 and DS is almost 3 so I agree that telling t hem is essentially telling the whole world--well the folks in our world anyway. 

I will probably wait until 12 weeks.  And then video us telling them and send that as the official notification :)
 

[fourlittlebirds]

We told our kids right away (they're 12, 6, and nearly 2). We couldn't keep it a secret and wanted to share the excitement with them!

[emski4379]

Our kids found out at the same time as DH. They're excited.