Oh Em, that's so unfortunate. I really really hope for you that your relationship improves, and that you can find your peace and happiness. I wish there were more that we could do to help.
revolting, I agree, the birth story is so gut wrenching and honest and real. But as the blog continues, you can see the mother come to terms and eventually not even understand what she was so upset about. So I think it says a lot about people/mothers and the capacity to adapt and love.
AFM, my husband and I just got back from the doctor's appt, and it was AMAZING. We heard our sweet little baby's heartbeat for the first time, and it was so so special. S/he is pitter pattering along at 160 bpm, and it was such a loud, strong, clear heartbeat. The doctor said it sounded perfect, and we are incredibly happy, and I'm over the moon and relieved. I can finally, offically, breathe. I've been so terrified for the past 12 weeks of something being wrong, or of the doctor not being able to find the heartbeat, and of losing my little baby. I could cry from the release and happiness I feel. Now I know that when I talk to my baby, or my husband rubs my bump and talks to our baby, it's really happening, and s/he is in there listening and feeling our love.