I had a financial blow yesterday. A bill for ten grand for my legal expenses surrounding my divorce. Man, that is just the gift that keeps on giving. I haven't been to court in a couple years and I had no idea this was still coming. It knocked the wind out of me and now makes planning a wedding totally out of the question.
I was flying high for four days imagining a wedding in summer 2014, best friends and family from the US flying in, being surrounded by so much love and celebration and how amazing it would be, new baby maybe taking first steps or almost ready to at the same time..... but now we have a humungous unexpected invoice to figure out a payment plan for. No way we can do both.
Now the question is, do we do a civil ceremony just the two of us this summer so at least we have the same last name on the baby's birth certificate? Or just have a long, long engagement, and in a few years throw a wedding and do it all at once? Or have the civil service now privately, and then throw the party when we can afford it (wouldn't that be anticlimactic if we are already married for years though?) ? Or ..... just a civil ceremony and dinner with his family and call it a wrap?
If we don't do it before the baby is born, I'm going to have to go through a huge beurocratic process that will take months, to change my name and my documents back to my maiden name, so that my ex's name (he who shall not be named!) will not be on my baby's birth certificate in any way shape or form. I've been able to live with keeping his name thusfar as it's the same surname as my kids', but now that there is a new baby, I just don't want that name anywhere attached to the new kid, somehow that gives me the heebie jeebies. Maybe I'm being irrational, as it's the only part of my whole ugly divorce saga that I have any control over in any way shape or fashion, and it's pretty minor. Whew, remember to exhale, self. Sigh.