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Best (or worst) comments made so far? - Page 2

post #21 of 110
I definitely agree that any comments about the belly are generally meant to be positive, even if they sometimes don't seem to be. I never take offense to belly commentary. But when someone decides to make a comment about the size of my ass (or weight in general) I tend to let my hormonal side do the responding smile.gif
post #22 of 110

Today a co-worker approached me.  I don't work w/ her directly and only know her by face recognition.  She had her baby 5 mos ago.  She asked "You're about 6 mos along, right?"  I corrected her and told her 7 mos, or 31 weeks to be more accurate.  She was taken aback when I told her.  Her reaction told me I must look/carry small.

post #23 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by spotty4 View Post

Today a co-worker approached me.  I don't work w/ her directly and only know her by face recognition.  She had her baby 5 mos ago.  She asked "You're about 6 mos along, right?"  I corrected her and told her 7 mos, or 31 weeks to be more accurate.  She was taken aback when I told her.  Her reaction told me I must look/carry small.

 

I think you do look a bit small in your pics, but in a way that makes me semi-"jealous" like you aren't gaining a ton or anything and probably have decent abs. :) I sometimes tell pregnant women they look small without thinking because if someone told me that I'd see it as a compliment. haha - as long as baby is healthy and stuff.

post #24 of 110
Thread Starter 

Spotty4, I think you look perfect, exactly where your body should be for you. Don't let anyone's comment make you feel badlove.gif

 

.

Just today I got another comment. This from an older gentleman.

 

He first asked me "Are all these children yours?" When I looked around at my glowing beauties making sure there weren't any additional I confirmed so he went on to "How many are there?" I pointed to my belly and said "This makes six" He just shook his head and said "People just don't do that anymore! You must be Catholic!"  I smiled and replied with "Actually no,  we just love having children and enjoy our large family to the fullest." He totally didn't understand and just shook his head walking away. irked.gif 

 

I've gotten the religious questions before, like there must be SOME reason why we don't use birth control. We do, it's called family planning and breastfeeding has spaced my children from 20months to 36 months apart. I think we've got things well under control thank you.winky.gif

post #25 of 110

BumkinsMum, I love how they think it's their business how many kids you have. LOL I got weird questions starting from being pregnant with my third. Like, wow, it's such a crime to have 3+ kids, eh? Where I'm living now has been nice though. Seem to have larger families around here.

post #26 of 110
Thread Starter 

It just boggles my mind what people come up withnut.gif

  And it's not like my kiddos were running around being ornery or otherwise unruly children. They we're shopping with me and were behaving beautifully and respectfully as they usually do, especially in public. So I really saw no reason to ask these questions or make these statements (in front of my children no less) as if it was deserved.. Oh well.orngtongue.gif

 

 

To make up for the bad I also had (early this month) an elderly lady come up and ask to touch my belly with a prayer for health and happiness.  She then said she was number 8 of 11 children and complemented each of my kiddos and myself for such a beautiful growing family.redface.gif

 

My favorite quote that I've got on a T-shirt says

 

"Yes, my hands are full...

But you should see my heart!"

 

love.giflove.giflove.gif
 

post #27 of 110

This will be my first baby... and my mother in law has been saying super-annoying things ever since I got pregnant. Everything from comments about not getting carried away by eating for two (when I have a pattern of super-healthy eating that has continued through this pregnancy), to ongoing nagging about "getting the baby's room ready" (when we intend to cosleep, though in fairness I haven't told her this because it would induce a new wave of hectoring). She also got on my case so much about the need to get a convertible car seat instead of a bucket seat that I just relented and put convertible on my registry so she'd leave me alone. (And this is only the beginning of acquiring baby stuff -- I'm expecting her to have an opinion about everything I choose.) 

 

She's said things like: 

- that she hopes our baby is a boy because she thinks boys are cuter than girls 

- that she's going to bring her out of town friend (who I've never met) to our house to meet the baby during the first week after it is born (huh?). 

 

 

Every time I raise my eyebrow at one of her comments she accuses me of being hormonal. Well maybe I am but this doesn't make this dumb things she says OK. 

 

So it was par for the course when the other day, my mother in law said, "I hope you don't have a bad baby!"

 

I was taken aback, and just said, "Oh, no babies are bad!" And she responded, "Oh yes, some are!" I muttered something about colic, etc. making some babies cry more than others, but said I can't think about babies in terms of "bad" or "good." She went on to blabber about how she hopes I have a "good' baby rather than a "bad" one. 

 

She gets really mad when I mention anything medical that she doesn't know about or agree with (such as that my midwife wants me to limit sugar intake, or that I'll be expected to bring the baby to a pediatrician when it is only a couple of days old). She gets huffy and says that her kid (my husband) turned out great and that she can't stand to hear this new medical advice that contradicts what she was told 40 years ago. She said it makes her so mad that I shouldn't tell her about it. She also told me I shouldn't be reading any books about how to care for my baby after it is born (um, what?). 

 

Another thing that got my goat is that she smugly tells me how much she loved being pregnant (when she was pregnant with my husband), and how she never had morning sickness and drank a giant milkshake every day. I struggled a lot with morning sickness but hey, I also love being pregnant! But I'm not drinking daily milkshakes. My husband was delivered 2 weeks early by csection because he was 10 pounds and she was told her "pelvis was too small to deliver him" (i've read this is generally impossible). I told her (cattily, yeah) that she probably had gestational diabetes and that's why he was so big, she said, "oh no, I didn't have any symptoms of diabetes like increased need to pee, thirst, etc." But I asked my midwife what she thought of that story and the midwife said mother in law definitely had gestational diabetes (it is asymptomatic typically, which I knew from my own reading). 

 

I've made it clear that I intend to breastfeed and at least she seems supportive of that. She didn't breastfeed (and my husband grew up with ear infections and other health problems associated with formula, but I'm staying quiet about that of course). I think she is feeling perhaps guilty for not breastfeeding him, so she tells us that "some babies just don't like to breastfeed" and that was the case with her baby (my husband). Now, I've done enough reading about breastfeeding to know that pretty much the only reason it doesn't work out is if the mom's had breast surgery or other such non-reversible issues... all other barriers seem to result from preventable stuff like introducing bottle too early, etc. I tried to tell her that but she just acted like I'm ignorant and reiterated that some babies don't like breastfeeding (um, what?). 

 

OK, rant over! And by the way, do you think I'm overreacting, or are these kinds of inane/toxic comments from her really out of line? Any advice about what to do, other than just ignore her? (And any idea what the heck is motivating her to make these crazy comments?) I guess I should add that this will be her only grandchild, likely; that she is very excited; she loves us a lot; she makes a lot of sacrifices to buy us gifts and make us meals; and that she is almost 80 years old. So I know I just need to be gracious and try to tune out these crappy word bombs from her... yeah?

post #28 of 110

Wow! When you said she's almost 80! LOL I would be totally annoyed by her, but I'd probably just let her comments roll off your back. I'd probably not poke at the breastfeeding thing or anything like that. She probably feels bad or just doesn't want to believe anything different because it would make her feel bad. Same with the gestational diabetes thing. Let the past be the past and try to ignore her when she says things you know are wrong or don't agree with. Don't let her influence you too strongly in your decisions since she seems a bit controlling. Too bad if she doesn't like that. It's your baby. If you stand your ground, she'll eventually get that she can't control you or at least she wouldn't have done it, though she tried. LOL Sorry you have to deal with that.

post #29 of 110
Thread Starter 

yeahthat.gif

 

 

June Baby!  Big hugs to you hug2.gifno one needs to have a constant negative opinions and bashing such as she is giving you. Only you know what's best for your body and baby. Trust in that and you'll do amazing!thumb.gif  Tell you husband to deal with her. That's what I do with my MIL.orngtongue.gif

 

I think the 'unhelpful information' comes from people (relatives) wanting to help you out since they might have a lot more experience (in their opinion). Unfortunately they don't realize that things are going to be different for each mom and each baby and each family for that matter.  Boundaries need to be set with her now, before baby comes along and you have MUCH more important things to deal with.

 

If you're afraid of hurting feelings you might try the "Thank you for your ideas, we'll consider them"    write them down in front of her, then go flush the paper down the toilet. (your choice if you want to add a little parting gift on top)

Problem solved,  she feels she's helped and you've 'downloaded' the information.lol.gif

 

I would definitely consider locking the doors that first week too..... or maybe the first month,  let her figure it out...banghead.gif      moon.gif
 

post #30 of 110

TWICE this weekend I had people say to me "any day now, huh"?   Um, no.  I've got 2 more months to go....   $%^#$

post #31 of 110
As far as MIL's go...
When I was prego with my first I was on the car with my MIL and she started telling me about how I really 'needed' to have the baby circumcised if it was a boy so it would look like its daddy. I responded by saying 'you're right. I'm also planning on having a piercer at the birth to have its tongue pierced so it looks like its mommy.' She shut up and didn't bug me about it again.
post #32 of 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by JNajla View Post

TWICE this weekend I had people say to me "any day now, huh"?   Um, no.  I've got 2 more months to go....   $%^#$

 

I get that one too... annoying. Especially since I know I'm not that big. Apparently many people are clueless as to how big a full term preggo lady looks.

post #33 of 110
Thread Starter 

I've been getting the 'any day now' for two months...irked.gif Then they continue with insisting my dates are off or some such nonsense. Why can't all the comments be how beautiful and glowing and happy and and and... there are so many other choices, choose one!
 

post #34 of 110
Quote:
I'm also planning on having a piercer at the birth to have its tongue pierced so it looks like its mommy.' She shut up and didn't bug me about it again.

 

You rock Shanna-cat!!  

post #35 of 110
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanna-cat View Post

As far as MIL's go...
When I was prego with my first I was on the car with my MIL and she started telling me about how I really 'needed' to have the baby circumcised if it was a boy so it would look like its daddy.


lol.gif

HAHAHA! I got the 'look like daddy' from my MIL too! Funny we've got 4 boys and not one of them has noticed a difference. shrug.gif

post #36 of 110
Today one of the security guards where I work gave me a great compliment. When I passed through the turnstile gate she said, "Now you look like a mother!" I laughed and asked if its because I look so tired. She replied, "No, you look great!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by BumkinsMum View Post

I've been getting the 'any day now' for two months...irked.gif Then they continue with insisting my dates are off or some such nonsense. Why can't all the comments be how beautiful and glowing and happy and and and... there are so many other choices, choose one!

 
post #37 of 110
Thread Starter 

Yay! There are nice people out there!! joy.gifDoesn't it just make your day when you get a comment like that?

 

I've just made it my life-long quest to give any pregnant woman I see a positive comment to make up for all the nasty ones!biggrinbounce.gif
 

post #38 of 110

I think the only acceptable belly comment is something like, "Your belly is awesome/fantastic/so cute/impressive, etc"  Just tell her she looks great without judging anything.  Someone told me I was radiant.  That was pretty nice.  innocent.gif

post #39 of 110
Thread Starter 

Someone today told me I looked adorable. orngtongue.gif  I sure don't FEEL adorable as I waddle through the store.... but it made my day none-the-less.orngbiggrin.gif

post #40 of 110

June Baby- that is a lot to deal with!  But I think you are doing the right thing by letting her comment and then letting the comments go in one ear and out the other.  She is 80, there is no way you're going to stop her from saying these things!  I like Bumkins' idea of writing it down and then flushing it when she's gone (and locking your doors when Baby arrives!!!!!)

 

One of my MILs (DP's step mom) asked the other day "So, are you guys going to be okay with us being there....I mean, not in the same room, but at the house for the birth?"  Um.....NO! Are you kidding me?!  DP was so good and just told her that we were going to have a few weeks of family time before we are going to let anyone come into our space for multiple days at a time.  I think it hurts her because my mom is going to be at the birth, but there is no way I could handle her energy anywhere near.  Besides, she is constantly telling me I "can't" do things, like cosleep and baby-wear all the time.  She comes from a different time and was told very very different things by her male doctors when she was having babies (she constantly refers to doctors/midwives as "he"). 

 

When DP and I told his dad and step-mom over Christmas that we were having a baby she asked if we going to get married, because it makes it all so different and it'd be better for Baby to have married parents who were actually committed to each other.  I just politely asked if she thought all the homosexual couples that aren't given legal right to marry aren't committed to each other just because the government won't recognize their love.  That ended the conversation.

 

DP has a great way of coming up with off the wall comments quickly, an ability I truly wish I had right now!  When people ask if I'm having twins, I need to say "no, I'm expecting 8 and one's a T Rex" and when people touch my belly and ask when I'm due, I need to touch their bellies (since it's almost always men!!) and ask how far along they are.  Just being quick to let people know that, yes, I do have a sense of humor, and, yes, if you say an asinine comment to me I'm going to subtly make fun of you winky.gif

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