I am hating the question "when is your due date" or "when is your 'real'/actual due date"- just done with it by now.
Best (or worst) comments made so far? - Page 5
Bumkins, I love your way of scaring people
I think I might start telling people "I'm having a contraction now!" and see what they say. Funniest bit is that DP works at the local grocery store, which is one of maybe 3 places I go besides my house, so everyone there is always asking me how I'm doing and when I'm due and blah blah blah. It'll give them all a good laugh and DP will be so proud!
DP told me this morning that one of his coworkers, who I guess always tells him how great I look, asked if I was about due. DP went through the whole "yeah yeah, she's getting bigger, but still over a month until due date." His coworker said "No, it's not that she's getting bigger, it looks like she's dropped!" I thought it was pretty sweet of him, especially coming from an older gay man with no children of his own.
There's also another Mom in my town who I see all the time, but don't know. Every time I see her she says "You're looking fantastic!" as we pass by each other. Super nice of her and something I hope to do when I am a seasoned Mama!
Ive tried all that jokingly- but then all I hear is "oh you're not having the baby now are you?" OR "don't worry, this random dude knows how to deliver babies" (ummm I am sure I can figure it out if I have to actually).... My sister says every time I call or move and inch "is it now, do we need to go to the hospital now." I had told her oh, I am starting to have practice labor and she was like "we should get you to the hospital so I can see the baby soon" I keep telling her even when I am in labor I will try my best not to go to the hospital until I am really active. SMH!!!
I am mostly done with pregnancy because I am done interacting with people about when and how the baby will arrive... of course then there is the whole postpartum thing to navigate.
By far the most offensive thing said to me this pregnancy:
Barbie-esq blond with the 6 inch nails- "This is your 9th?! Omg, they must just fall out."
Now, Im normally pretty thick skinned and try to see things in a positive light, but this snarky lady got the best of me.
Me- "well, when you sh*t, does it just fall out or do you have to push a bit?"
Ok, I'll admit that this was not my finest moment but the look on her face was sooo awesome.
enjoyed reading all the posts! I can identify with most of them. I was told within 5 minutes of each comment that i was "way too small" and "way too big" for my size. I'm at 37 weeks now so when people ask me when I'm due I just say "any time now"... although I feel like I am going to regret it if I go overdue and 5 weeks from now I run into them and they will probably be horrified for me if I'm still pregnant.
This wasn't really a pregnancy-related comment but it was a piss off none the less.
The other day I decided to try a new salon and treat myself to a pedicure. They had a deal for new clients, 50% the price so I thought "why not". I must admit, I didn't go in dressed to the nines... I'm 37 weeks pregnant, most of my clothes don't fit, we're in the middle of a heat wave and quite frankly, if I'm going to salon / spa to RELAX I'm going to wear comfortable clothes... so in retrospect I MAY have appeared slightly frumpy to some people... I don't know. As I was getting it done, the lady who was serving me (who also was the owner come to find out) kept chatting and chatting... I don't know if that's standard but I would have really loved to just not be chatty and relax. Anyways, that's kind of besides the point...
At the end of the pedicure, right as I am punching in a tip into the debit card machine she says, "After your baby is born you should come in for another pedicure and bring the baby for a visit".... and then she paused for a moment and added, "well maybe someone can treat you to one... you don't seem like you can afford this kind of thing on your own right now"
I mean sure I may have looked frumpy but it's hard not too when you're 38 weeks pregnant. Yes I have a couple of nice outfits but I am not going to wear them in between errands for an hour to get a pedicure. Yes we chatted the whole time (ugh) but never about my economic status or situation. So... wtf? I had just hit the "enter' button on the debit machine when she said that otherwise I would have kept her tip for myself... cause you know... I could really have used that money! geeez.
I would be so pissed if someone said that to me! I totally fit in the 'frumpy' department at 37 wks myself but that would be insulting even if you're not pregnant.
You should have canceled the transaction and re-did it without the tip. I probably would have. Then mention, "Good thing it was 50% off today because I wont be returning. It's much to steep at full price to be insulted."
You handled it much more mature than I would have.
I just needed somewhere to vent, I'm sure its because I'm hormonal, but I've been so sensitive this whole pregnancy.
I had my first child at nineteen, and now at 27 we are having our third. I have been sick this whole pregnancy and the comments I have gotten from co-workers are so rude.
I have gotten lots of "You are going to stop after this one, right?".
Also I have a low-lying anterior placenta, and although so far placenta previa has not developed I was very freaked out by bleeding on and off throughout my pregnancy and missed a lot of work along with being on zofran for nine months and having episodes of high blood pressure, I explained to my co-workers (I work in the medical field and at least two workers are trained md's and have seen a lot of stuff) and they were talking about possible complications in my situation (yes very kind for a scared pregnant woman, right?). Since one possible, but rare, complication could be a hysterectomy they decided to share, and the manager chimed in with that would be great for me because it would be permanent birth control.
All of these comments, but we WANT more children. My husband and our two children would love a much bigger family. I also have the best husband in the world!! He is training to be a montessori teacher, and is incredibly involved with our children. He has taken the role of stay at home parent to make sure our children were able to be exposed to at least one of us, and they have so far not had to spend very much time apart from him, as he was an assistant at their school since they started, and I am able to maintain my job for insurance and a steady income. It's been a tough nine months of watching my words, and I am so happy to finally be on maternity leave, even if it is a littler early. I went on leave at 38 weeks and I'm not due till June 2nd.
Ah, just ignore people. It seems a lot of people don't appreciate the idea of a big family or having many children because we are taught to not want that through our society and they have a thought of what an acceptable family size is. You do what is right for your family and just ignore ignorant/annoying comments.
This isn't really a 'worst comment' rant, but rather I needed to vent, but didn't want to start a new thread. I'm hoping to get some MIL advice.
My MIL completely blew off my birthday a few weeks ago. Literally. No card, no email, no text. Nothing. DH had to remind her a week later that she had forgotten. She responded to HIM that she was embarrassed that she forgot. That was 3 weeks ago and I still haven't received a card or anything else from her. I've been sending her emails trying to keep her informed of baby's progress and breech/ c-section situation. She replied to an email a few days later on a Thursday afternoon and mentioned forgetting my birthday and that she could take me for a pedicure and dinner on Saturday (2 days notice). I told her that I already made other plans and I've literally not heard from her since. She didn't come to my baby shower that my Mom threw me because she had a wedding to go to. She never sent a card or never bought a shower gift, and there has been little mention of her planning a shower for me for her family either. After telling me that she couldn't make it to my shower, that perhaps she would throw me one, but after baby is here because she's really busy every weekend with weddings and such. She also hasn't asked us if we need anything for the baby. I guess that I'm feeling hurt because this is her first grandchild and my husband and I are only children. I thought that she would have been more excited about this. I've honestly had complete strangers act more warm and excited about my pregnancy than her. She doesn't call or email to just ask how I'm feeling or how I'm doing. I'm so disgusted with this that I don't know how I'm going to put on the 'nicey nice' face around her when she comes to visit the baby. My parents have been so helpful and supportive- helping me paint my house, throwing me a baby shower, refinishing an antique dresser for baby's room, buying us a stroller and car seat- basically whatever we need, they are there for us. I don't expect my MIL to go to any extremes, but even if she acted like she was excited for us or like she's happy about the situation. It's like she doesn't like me and is acting passive aggressive (which I cannot stand- grow a pair and speak you mind and your truth).... Perhaps it's my mama bear hormones, but it just pisses me off. I don't want to have to act fake to her. If she doesn't like me, I would rather know and then just avoid her than to deal with passive aggressive tactics and then have to fake being nice to each other for the sake of DH.... ANY ADVICE????
You may have no choice but to be fake nice with her. I wouldn't bother emailing her anymore. She's obviously not very interested. Think you may be working too hard at this. Thankfully you have your family's support. So, try not to worry too much about MIL. I wouldn't go out of my way for her at all with the way she's acted toward you. Just realize you'll probably never be close.
Well, to give personal experience behind what I said. My FIL is a jerk. He has never liked me. Maybe because I'm not Romanian? Anyway, he has said bad things about me to others and to DH. Saying how I'm not a good mom and other stuff I can't even remember. I just decided to not care about him. I act nice enough toward him, but thankfully he's very far away - Romania - so, I only have to deal with him via skype or the phone if he calls DH. I think he may have grown to like me a bit more since then? But, I don't know for sure and I really don't care. Whatever. Thankfully, my MIL has always been pretty nice. She's actually nicer than my own parents. My parents have showed very little interest in us since we moved far away. They usually call around birthdays and some holidays. I didn't even hear my sister had had her C-section until 2 days after. Which was actually unusual. They used to at least inform me of big things. My sister still hasn't even contacted me at all about it. So, I decided I'm not telling her when I have my baby. I'll just post it on facebook and she can see it there. I will call my parents and let them know, even if they don't really deserve it. So, all that to say, sometimes family sucks. LOL
Edited by dayiscoming2006 - 6/5/13 at 3:50pm
It's nice to not feel alone in this. My MIL (at my shower no less) kept telling me how bad of a mom I am. She means "Dog Mom", but that's not what she says. She is one of those dog owners that treats her dogs like children, clothing them, cooking specifically for them, etc. She thinks it's cruel that I don't let my dogs on our couch or bed, that we feed them dog food instead of chicken tenders and that one of them has to wear a bark collar. She can't seem to accept that the county has threatened to take her away because of a neighbor's complaints! Every time I turn my back she's feeding our animals food from the table, having them get on the couch, and taking off (and hiding) Tilly's bark collar-- even though I've confronted her many times.
If this is what it's like with our dogs, what is it going to be like with our children?!
JNajla, I'm so sorry your MIL forgot your birthday and that there is tension. And to all you other mama's with aggravating family members --- I feel ya, too!!!
I think it's pretty obvious from all of our stories that it's OKAY and somewhat NORMAL to not be close to your in-laws, and some times it's just hard enough to keep things pleasant. We can always hope for the best, though, and for change!