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Joining the group with a question...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

Hello all.

I am 6 weeks into my first pregnancy after nine months of TTC. My husband and I are excited and grateful to have conceived and are looking forward to our Thanksgiving baby. I have some mild pregnancy symptoms (breast soreness, food aversions, indigestion, fatigue).

 

My question is this: Are you all struggling at all with worry? I can't seem to shake this belief that we are going to miscarry. I frequently worry that we will have a "missed" miscarriage and spend the next six weeks falling in love with a baby before finding out that there's no heartbeat. My first midwife appointment is at 12 weeks and I keep trying to think up schemes to have an ultrasound at the ER before then (I'm ridiculous). I am annoyed with myself for allowing these worries to rob me of the joy of pregnancy. In hopes of reversing this pattern, these are the coping strategies I've come up with so far...

 

*Practicing gratitude each day for this pregnancy (no matter how long it lasts) and for the other areas of my life I am grateful for  

*Reminding myself I can only control the inputs, not the outputs.

*Trusting God that we'll be able to handle whatever outcome we face

 

I also thought I would reach out to you all for support since we aren't telling anyone IRL about the pregnancy until after we hear the heartbeat (hopefully announcing on mother's day). I'd love to hear any advice that you all have.

 

Thanks!

post #2 of 15

Hi and congrats! Yes to the worry! Like you, i'm trying to just be thankful for each day and trust all will be well but it is hard. Welcome!

post #3 of 15
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I definitely am worrying as well, even though I don't have a specific reason to. The first trimester is so tough, isn't it? I don't have much advice, except that you should take comfort in your symptoms if you can. My midwife told me today that my severe nausea is actually a sign that baby is thriving.
post #4 of 15

You're not alone, making.  It scares me that I still really don't have any symptoms.  crap.gif  I'm not sure if my super mild nausea yesterday and today is from my cold or what, and I'm wondering if my boobs are even still sore.  I know I shouldn't wish for morning sickness, but I'm freaked out by my complete lack of it.

post #5 of 15

I am with you! I have had three healthy babies in a row, no miscarriages. I figured with baby #4 my time must be due, right? I know SO many friends who have suffered losses and it doesn't seem right to sail through another perfect pregnancy again. I decided to have an early "viability scan" just to see the heartbeat and make myself not worry so much, and it has worked. I know anything can happen even still, and I was worried about the missed miscarriage thing too. It WAS a relief to see the little bean and know everything, right now, is perfect. Good luck!

post #6 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamainthemaking View Post

Hello all.

I am 6 weeks into my first pregnancy after nine months of TTC. My husband and I are excited and grateful to have conceived and are looking forward to our Thanksgiving baby. I have some mild pregnancy symptoms (breast soreness, food aversions, indigestion, fatigue).

 

My question is this: Are you all struggling at all with worry? I can't seem to shake this belief that we are going to miscarry. I frequently worry that we will have a "missed" miscarriage and spend the next six weeks falling in love with a baby before finding out that there's no heartbeat. My first midwife appointment is at 12 weeks and I keep trying to think up schemes to have an ultrasound at the ER before then (I'm ridiculous). I am annoyed with myself for allowing these worries to rob me of the joy of pregnancy. In hopes of reversing this pattern, these are the coping strategies I've come up with so far...

 

*Practicing gratitude each day for this pregnancy (no matter how long it lasts) and for the other areas of my life I am grateful for  

*Reminding myself I can only control the inputs, not the outputs.

*Trusting God that we'll be able to handle whatever outcome we face

 

I also thought I would reach out to you all for support since we aren't telling anyone IRL about the pregnancy until after we hear the heartbeat (hopefully announcing on mother's day). I'd love to hear any advice that you all have.

 

Thanks!


I could have wrote your post every pregnancy. Especially the schemes to get a U/S at the er. LOL ----- I still am doing that.

I bought "Super B Vitamin Complex" and I have to tell you - after I began taking that within a few days I felt 'clearer' emotionally and less worry wart. I have been taking it almost every day this pregnancy and feel better than I have any pregnancy. I started taking it at 3 months last pregnancy and it helped a lot.

I really recommend it..

post #7 of 15
Thread Starter 

Thanks for the support everyone. It definitely helps to know that I'm not alone in these worries : )

 

Kamiro - Thanks for the info...I will try to look into that vitamin.

post #8 of 15
I hear exactly what you are saying. Truly. It can be a time of intense worry. Anxiety really kicks in for me when I am pregnant. Those hormones are so powerful! I love your guidelines and I hope they help you with find some peace.
post #9 of 15

I completely hear you.  I was hoping that the second time around it would be better for me, but it seems I'm going to worry no matter what.  I think it's hard having something so important be so far out of your conscious control.  For me, I also think a lot of it is incredulity.  I really cannot believe that my body is capable of this miracle, and I feel like it shouldn't be left to its own devices.  I try to remind myself that it is capable, but the rational me and the emotional me seem never to be so far apart as in early pregnancy.

post #10 of 15
I think what everyone else has said is completely on par. I have been feeling the same way, despite the fact that I am having severe nausea, and it is so nerve wracking! I do agree with the statement about BComplex! I am taking Stress B complex and despite it helping with my nausea, my mood is so much better! I hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months and I can't wait to get to know you and see your bundle of joy!
post #11 of 15

Yep, I spent the first three months of my third pregnancy, after miscarrying the second, in a constant panic.  (I was checking my cervix and everything, it did nothing but make me more scared.  I'm not doing that this time...)  But worry really doesn't change anything, except for taking away your enjoyment of that part of the pregnancy.  You can spend the whole pregnancy worrying (and hey, you could worry all through the kid's childhood too!), and it's hard to just "turn off" that side of your brain... but take deep breaths.  Meditate.  Stay busy.  It will be okay.   :)
 

post #12 of 15
I think the first pregnancy is especially worrisome because you have no idea what to expect yet. Something that helps me is to remember what a midwife once told me: the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor of having a healthy pregnancy, birth, and baby.

I have to admit though that I start freaking out especially when I see the heartbreaking posts by women experiencing losses in our own group.
post #13 of 15
Thread Starter 

Thanks for all of your support ladies! I haven't had my first midwife appointment yet (it was pushed back 2 weeks at which point I will be 14 weeks...boo!) but we did purchase a doppler today from Craigslist and after about 20 minutes of searching, we found the heartbeat joy.gif It was in the 150s and such a welcome sound. I finally feel like we can settle into this pregnancy and start sharing the happy news. Woot!

post #14 of 15
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamainthemaking View Post

Thanks for all of your support ladies! I haven't had my first midwife appointment yet (it was pushed back 2 weeks at which point I will be 14 weeks...boo!) but we did purchase a doppler today from Craigslist and after about 20 minutes of searching, we found the heartbeat joy.gif It was in the 150s and such a welcome sound. I finally feel like we can settle into this pregnancy and start sharing the happy news. Woot!


Yay!!!!

post #15 of 15

I struggled with worry too--I still do but not as horribly strong as in the early weeks. (I am 12 weeks today and heard the heartbeat a few days ago, that helped.) It's normal. I'm coping by praying a lot. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I believe that God has it under control, no matter what happens.

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