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Spring IVF 2013 - Page 14

post #261 of 767

Xerxella~

I'm sorry to hear all this. What a journey you have been through too. How strong and full of hope you are. 

What does your doctor say about the beta number 52. When will your progesterone be checked again? 

Hugs mama!!!hug2.gif

post #262 of 767

Toothfairy~ How was the doctor's appointment today?

post #263 of 767
Xerxella - wow you have been through so much. It's crazy that pregnancies can go wrong in so many different ways and that you had to go through all that. As for time off work, my job is just awful right now. My boss is my age and has almost no experience as a manager. He is completely disorganized and has no idea what he is doing. He keeps assigning me projects that are already assigned to someone else and my help is not needed. Or completely vague stuff where he wants me to "come up with ideas" or "think about stuff" or "discuss with people". The result of all this is that I have no clue wtf I am supposed to be doing most of the time and that leaves me way too much time to drive myself completely crazy. I had a talk with him a couple of weeks back about how this type of work was not a good fit for me and as a result he took me off the project I was on and put me on another one that was even worse, so obviously he didn't get what I was trying to say at all. At least now that I am home I can distract myself with tv, movies, books and gardening so I feel a lot better.
post #264 of 767
Sourire- wow. That boss sounds like a tool. Well, I'm glad you can get away from there for awhile then and distract yourself with other things.

Tracy- the nurses have called me each time. And I get that if this was my first loss you'd want to handle me with kid gloves. But I knew at the first number it'd be a loss. And the nurse was saying, well it's just the first number, you really don't know when you ovulated... I'm like, it's ok, I know it's a loss. And with the second number I just took it. Ok, I had been hoping it was already going down, but at least it's not rising like crazy. The nurse had a long pause and was like, uuummmmm, welllllll, we were hoping for a slightly higher number.... I'm like, it's ok, really, I knew this was a loss already. This isn't my first rodeo. They were just confused. But, they know its a loss, too.
post #265 of 767
Xerxella - at my clinic none if the nurses or doctors will even utter the dreaded m word. They won't even admit that my numbers look bad unless I push them a lot. It's kind of annoying. I know they don't want to cause people unnecessary worry but at the same time if you tell everyone that everything's fine all the time, they will be way more shocked when it ends up not being fine.
post #266 of 767

I went for an ultrasound today. They saw the gestational sac, yolk sac and fetal pole. The fetal pole was measuring 5w6d. I'm supposed to be 6w1d pregnant so the baby was only 2 days behind. Not bad right?

 

However the doctor was a bit concerned about not seeing a heartbeat, even though it's so early. So I had another beta done and my hcg level has dropped from 2546 last Sunday to 1275 today. So it's definitely over. I've stopped all my meds and my doctor is faxing a prescription for misoprostol over to my pharmacist (who happens to be my husband) to get the baby out..

 

I haven't decided whether to take the misoprostol yet. It sounds pretty scary. I think I'll wait a couple of days to see if things are going to start on their own.

post #267 of 767

Sorry to hear that Sourire. You continue to take care of yourself. *hugs*

post #268 of 767

Sourire, I am so sorry. I know how heartbreaking it is when the ultrasound is not good news. My first miscarriage I just waited it out naturally, it was painful but I was 12 weeks along. At 6 weeks I would probably opt for that, except that it might take a couple of weeks before it actually happens, and that can be really hard emotionally. From what I have read, the misoprostol can be quite painful - but my doctor said that is because it causes the miscarriage to happen really quickly. If you're already having bleeding, though, hopefully it will only be a few days.

 

I had the D & C yesterday - there is a program at the Women's Hospital here that is specifically for women who are or who might be having a miscarriage. The nurses there were really great. The only thing that bothered me was being sent up to the abortion clinic for the actual procedure. I thought I would be okay with that, but I found it really difficult. Especially the consent form - I wanted to cross out the first line where it said I was consenting to terminate my pregnancy. 

post #269 of 767

ugh, so much heartbreak!  just wanted to let you know i'm reading along and sending you all hugs.  

post #270 of 767
Xerxella, Sourire, and Laggie: sweet ladies. I am so very, very sorry.

Xerxella: Your story knocked me off my feet. I can't believe how much you've been through, and that they still don't have it figured out. Since I'm new to your story, I think I may have missed what exactly your hormonal imbalance is? Aren't your hormones controlled through the cycle? Sorry if these are silly questions!

***********I can't find the hide button on the mobile site, so this bit might be a little graphic.... just wanted to warn y'all*****************

Sourire: I took the misoprostol because I wanted to avoid the D&C (I ended up having to do one anyway). It's definitely unpleasant, but mine was not painful at all. Not in the slightest. It took longer to work than they said it would, so it woke me up in the middle of the night. There were many trips to the bathroom and finally I just sat in the tub with the shower running. When I got out of the tub, I passed out... so I had to go to the ER. The D&C was super easy, and I had it at a hospital so I was able to avoid Laggie's nightmare situation! Anyway, know that I am sending you a huge, huge hug.

**************************end of graphicness!*****************************

Laggie: I cannot imagine having to go the abortion clinic. This whole infertility ride has definitely made it harder for me to be pro-choice. I mean, I still am pro-choice, but... yeah.... it's hard to reconcile the two. I find it very, very difficult to talk about abortion in any situation these days. I can't imagine filling out those forms and sitting in that waiting room. Sending you lots of love.

Indie: I'm so sorry you had to cancel your cycle greensad.gif I think you have a good idea for moving forward though. How are you feeling?

Tooth: Where are you dearheart? How was the appointment with the doctor on Wed? Any ideas for your LP?

AFM: Transfer was difficult. My cervix is a crazy shape, but after many, many attempts, and many, many catheters, my two beautiful blasts made their way into my uterus. Hurrah! Beta is next Monday (5/20). I feel great about my chances, whereas with my last transfer I was in the waiting room thinking, Why am I even bothering with this? I knew in my heart it wasn't going to work. So, I'm a big fan of trusting your gut. And, my gut feels good on this one. Hope it doesn't let me down!

I hope each of you takes some time to love yourself this weekend. I know it can be a difficult holiday. Sending you all lots of light and love. xo
post #271 of 767

Teresa~ Stay busy on your tww!! Watch  Down Town Abbey!

Xerxella~ how are you doing?

Toothfairy~ Have not heard about your appointment. Curious.

Laggie~ I'm sorry again and I send healing energy your way.

post #272 of 767
Teresaesa- I'm so excited about such a food transfer!!!!! What's your plan to make it thru the 2 ww?

Tracy - how are you doing? When do you think you'll try again?

Laggie- hugs. There's really nothing to say.

AFM- nothing going on. Another beta tomorrow, but no bleeding yet. If my period doesn't start soon I'll miss this cycle for IVF and that's what upsets me the most. I'm tired of all this waiting. As DH said, I just want it to be our turn at bat. Maybe we'll struck out, maybe we'll hit a home run, but we just want to try.
post #273 of 767

Sourire - my heart breaks for you (with you). I am sorry. hug2.gif

post #274 of 767

Laggie - I am sorry for the horrible experience. I am sorry for everything. I really wanted to be pregnant buddies with you, since we were cycle buddies. I will be cheering you on.

 

Teresa - yay for some good news! I am glad that you feel good about your chances. Sorry it was a difficult transfer.

 

X - you are amazingly strong to get through all of that. hug2.gif

post #275 of 767
Well it looks like I might not need to take the misoprostol after all. I stopped all the hormones on Friday. Yesterday I was having some pretty intense cramping but very little bleeding. Then at 4am this morning I woke up in excruciating pain and ran to the bathroom and I was just gushing blood and all these massive clots into the toilet. When I was finally able to leave the toilet I went and took some painkillers because the pain was still so bad I had trouble breathing and I couldn't stop shaking. Eventually the painkillers started working and I went back to bed with a hot water bottle on my abdomen. When I woke up again a few hours later the pain was almost completely gone and I was hardly bleeding anymore. So I guess that's what a miscarriage feels like. The whole thing only lasted like an hour and a half so I'm not totally convinced that its completely over.
post #276 of 767

Sourire - that sounds a lot like my miscarriage, but I think I did have two bouts of intense cramping and bleeding. Hopefully you are done though. There is a good thread here about what to expect, although it might be too much for you. I did find it helpful to read a few of the stories. http://www.mothering.com/community/t/187976/exactly-what-to-expect-with-a-m-c-please-tell-your-stories-what-do-you-see

 

I was looking through the paperwork that I got at the hospital today (aftercare instructions and whatnot) and I found the original consent form and intake form. (there was a consent form that I signed at the miscarriage assessment program but they didn't have it when they sent me upstairs, so that's why I had to fill out the abortion one.) I am not sure if they gave them to me by mistake, or if I was supposed to give them to the nurse and got confused. Obviously I'm not super functional right now, I was mad at them for losing the paperwork and it was in my purse the whole time. The abortion clinic is part of the women's hospital, the procedure is exactly the same as a D & C so that is why I had to go to the same room with the women having abortions. I didn't expect to find that so upsetting, but I did. At least I don't remember the procedure at all, they gave me a ton of drugs.

 

Anyway... sorry, this thread is supposed to be about IVF not about miscarriage. 

 

I don't know what to do next, this morning I was thinking that we could see if we can try donor sperm or donor embryos, but that if we haven't succeeded by the end of 2013 then I'll be done with ART. We have friends who adopted a child via Social Services here, I am thinking of asking them if they can talk to us about that.

 

Teresa - Fingers, toes, and boobs are all crossed for you! 

post #277 of 767

My heart goes out to all of you struggling.  Major <<hugs>> all around.  grouphug.gif

 

I really do hope all of you find your magic "gumball" -- as the NP at my IVF clinic calls eggs -- and the swimmers hit their mark and the embies stick.  Hugs and prayers for all of you still journeying down this road. It's definitely a rollercoaster with a lot of effing hairpin turns... 

 

For those of you waiting on BFPs -- fingers and toes crossed... dust.gif

post #278 of 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sourire View Post

Well it looks like I might not need to take the misoprostol after all. I stopped all the hormones on Friday. Yesterday I was having some pretty intense cramping but very little bleeding. Then at 4am this morning I woke up in excruciating pain and ran to the bathroom and I was just gushing blood and all these massive clots into the toilet. When I was finally able to leave the toilet I went and took some painkillers because the pain was still so bad I had trouble breathing and I couldn't stop shaking. Eventually the painkillers started working and I went back to bed with a hot water bottle on my abdomen. When I woke up again a few hours later the pain was almost completely gone and I was hardly bleeding anymore. So I guess that's what a miscarriage feels like. The whole thing only lasted like an hour and a half so I'm not totally convinced that its completely over.

Yes, this sounds like my miscarriage also. I do hope it is finished and you can continue to heal*hugs* and stay strong.

post #279 of 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Laggie View Post

 

I don't know what to do next, this morning I was thinking that we could see if we can try donor sperm or donor embryos, but that if we haven't succeeded by the end of 2013 then I'll be done with ART. We have friends who adopted a child via Social Services here, I am thinking of asking them if they can talk to us about that.

 

Teresa - Fingers, toes, and boobs are all crossed for you! 

Keep us in the loop with what you decide. These are all hard decisions.Hugs to you also Laggie.

post #280 of 767
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerxella View Post

Teresaesa- I'm so excited about such a food transfer!!!!! What's your plan to make it thru the 2 ww?

Tracy - how are you doing? When do you think you'll try again?

Laggie- hugs. There's really nothing to say.

AFM- nothing going on. Another beta tomorrow, but no bleeding yet. If my period doesn't start soon I'll miss this cycle for IVF and that's what upsets me the most. I'm tired of all this waiting. As DH said, I just want it to be our turn at bat. Maybe we'll struck out, maybe we'll hit a home run, but we just want to try.

What was your numbers today? And what is the doctor saying?

As for me, yes,we are going to try again but I may be rather vague this time about it. I may just let you all know my beta number if I have one. It is so hard to type bfn in my posts. I don't want to do it again......*sigh*

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