Are you still off work? WHat have you been doing?
I typed up a post yesterday but I don't know where it went...
I think I want to get a second opinion. As I feared, the RE yesterday suggested donor eggs. But we can do another IVF cycle if we want, and when I asked if it was possible I was oversuppressed by the BCP he said we could do a Lupron co-flare protocol with no birth control pills. Then when I looked that up online I found that protocol isn't recommended for poor responders, it should be microdose Lupron instead. Aaargh!
It's so hard to figure out what I should do. I've looked at going to Czech Republic for a donor egg cycle as it's $10,000 cheaper than it would be here. I'm worried that we'll try another cycle with my eggs and end up back where we started only poorer and older.
Laggie~ yes, a second opinion. You'll feel better about it too. I ma sorry this is so hard. I just can't remember,did you do a FET last time or was that a fresh cycle?
Sourire~ That totally sucks about your job. Is it possible to get another job or another boss like transfer? Are you on anxiety meds? I hate anxiety!!
As for me, well, we are moving so I have been busy packing. And when I get down moments I process the FET that I am going to do in July. It's our last chance I feel. I mean we only have 3 blasts left and there is no guarantee they will all defrost/or implant. I feel like I am having to wrap my brain around"this is our last chance. IVF again is too much for my body to go through agian and I even feel donor embryos are getting too expensive and how much more money are we willing to spend? I feel like for us it would just be damn excessive to end up without a baby in the end. Also, I am getting older and don''t feel comfortable having a baby after a certain point. I really would like to meet grandchildren if there are any. I feel like we are extremely lucky to have our toddler(2 years old) now, after so long of trying and for me knowing how awesome it is to have him and wanting a sibling for him aches my heart so much heavier than before we had a child. I am sad...very very sad and scared to get a bfn. why does it have to be so hard? This really sucks. And I am trying to be a little hopeful this cycle but honestly the last two I was as hopeful as it could get and negative!
Sourire- Sorry I didn't get back about the acupuncture thing earlier but I can't agree more that something seems fishy in that chain of events. It just doesn't seem possible that the acupuncture didn't do something. I wouldn't let that assistant treat you again but if you can call and talk to your acupuncturist about what happened and get their perspective. Just the way everything happened is impossible to explain. Also sorry about how things are going at work. Even the best coworkers and bosses just don't know how to deal with our coping after this. Take care of yourself and take some time off again if you need to. Is your FET in July as well? How long are you taking Lupron for? It is suppression like before or just to prep for the FET?
Laggie- How frustrating that your doctor recommended the wrong protocol. I agree with Sourire that the success of a donor cycle shouldn't change at all with your age so if you can afford to do both and you want to try again with your own eggs your success rate for the transfer shouldn't change anything if you decide to do donor eggs/embryos in the future. If you are referring to more that you want to be pregnant and parent ASAP that is another story. It is amazing how much less expensive it is to travel for some medical procedures. It is probably 20k less than in the USA! How are costs between where you are now and where you are thinking of changing to?
Tracy- Good luck with your packing, that has to be a lot to take on while you are waiting for FET. Are you moving far? Will you transfer all 3 if they al thaw this time?
Welcome Carrie- You are in good company on being underweight. I am too. It has just always been a struggle. It sounds like health wise you are doing things perfectly though. I've always had the mindset that health is more important than fitting in some made up chart. When are you expecting to hear about your AMH? It is probably the best indicator of sleepy ovaries. I wish you lots of success on your first (hopefully only) cycle. Are you planning on freezing at all?
AFM- Alright I have an update for you all. I started getting some pain yesterday on my left side in the area of my fallopian tube/ovary around 10 am. When it still hadn't gone away by 2 I started freaking out that it is probably ectopic and that is why my hcg is so low. So I called my RE to see if they could see me tomorrow (today) or I should call my OB or go to the ER. They set me up for an ultrasound at 1030 this morning and said if anything gets worse to go straight to the ER. So as it turns out there is one perfectly measuring gestational sac/fetal pole/yolk sac right in the center of my uterus and nice and high. No sign of a second baby which when I really think of it makes me so sad but I'm so grateful for this one I just keep praying that second baby found it's big sister in heaven. So, there was no evidence of anything in my tubes and what is likely causing the pain is an approx 2 inch (my estimation based on how big follicles usually look on u/s) corpus luteum cyst on the left side... baffling because both of my follicles were on the right side & there is absolutely nothing going on in my right ovary. So somehow they must have missed a follicle on the left on all those ultrasounds... I have no idea how it happened but there it is. So likely my ovary was up high and moved down low yesterday so that is the pain I was feeling. There is still a dull pressure in my pelvis where I assume it is sitting now, pushing on something. The only other excitement is a small sub chorionic hematoma above the gestational sac. I believe that showed I have an anterior placenta, based on the position of the hematoma but what do I know, they said it was caused by implantation and not by all the activities I did last week. Likely it will resolve on its own but has the normal higher m/c risk (like I need that). Also, my numbers aren't doubling every 48 hours (did we expect them to... uncooperative babies I make). I wish I had stuck to my gut and asked them not to tell me the number, just if it was rising but alas, I did not so now I have that added worry that our m/c didn't double and how is this different. It is different though... I'm keeping a positive attitude that this baby is just fine and after the u/s showing everything perfect the hcg doesn't even matter. So I declined further blood testing and pushed our next scan out to 2 weeks instead of 1 like they wanted. That is when our first scan was supposed to be anyway & after that I'm traveling and won't get checked until around 10 weeks. DH is away so my cousin came down to go with me today. It was nice to have someone there just in case. Anyway, I'm feeling fine, tired from anxiety over all of this and having insomnia something terrible but otherwise not too many symptoms. All that likely because my hcg is still so low. We'll see anyway. Thanks to you all for your support and prayers through all of this.
Hey, I can tell you all about the changes I made for my first and only IVF cycle. Now I am doing frozen transfer. Anyway, the IVF was successful. Wait, I will have to remember by heart if you have questions about diet and stuff because I just packed my "fertility" file away. We are moving. I did eat plenty of organic peanut butter/almonds for protein and weight gain.
In addition to what you've done,I saw an acupuncturist who specializes in fertility. Is there one around where you live?
I will be back for personals and update later today but I wanted to throw some questions out to the IVF veterans (or just the better-informed-than-me crowd).
I don't know much about IVF after retrieval. My "plan" (as if we can have "plans") is to do at least two if not three rounds of modified/mini IVF and embryo bank so I can then treat with lupron and do a transfer later in the year. Since I've never made it through a full IVF cycle, I don't know how my eggs will do with fertilization. My concern is if they do fertilize but don't look like they will make it to day 5 to freeze, should I freeze at day 3, should I do a fresh transfer so I don't risk losing them in the dish, or do I just take my chances since day 5 embryos are "supposed" to be the healthiest?
1. How did you REs determine at what stage to freeze? What were the markers they were looking for?
2. What criteria would I be looking for to determine if I should do a hail mary and do a fresh transfer?
Any and all experience and advice welcomed :)
1) My Re office has a protocol of freezing at 3 day. But if embryos are moving slowly but advancing they will let them move into a blast stage then freeze. This is how I ended up with 3 6 day blasts.
2) Do you think you will be over stimulated to do a fresh cycle? That is the reason I think most would not do a fresh cycle. There are studies that say it is better to freeze than do a transfer(FET) because your body has time to relax after all the stimulation from ivf and that embryos that go through the freeze and thaw are "stronger" . This sounds great but in my case I still have not gottan pregnant after a FET. This cycle will be a blast transfer of frozen embryos.
Hope this helps
ETA: I did get pregnant after a fresh cycle and I was not over stimulated at all. My son is 2.
TF - YAY!!!!! A fetal pole and yolk sac is a great sign!! Keep it up little TF baby!
Laggie - sorry about the doc bringing up donor eggs. I know how hard that is to take. It took me four different REs telling me that I should move on to donor eggs before I finally did. I needed all four opinions. My thoughts are, whatever you feel like you need, do it. It is a hard decision when you are faced with it, so if you need another opinion go for it. Not to get ahead of anything... but since you mentioned the Czech Republic, I also looked into the Czech Republic. There is a woman who posts on a egg donor forum that I used to stalk who runs a business connecting people with clinics in other countries and helping them make arrangements. The Czech Republic seems to be the most popular place to go. I actually emailed with her a few times (free). She even emailed me a list of clinics with reviews and success rates and fees for free too. I also looked into California Conceptions (embryo donation, not egg donation) - they are criticized as making "designer babies" but that didn't bother me. I was actually starting the process with them (I had my free consult, and we did the initial bloodwork) when I decided to try donor embryos with my old RE (oddly, they were free too). Another place to look is RBA in Atlanta (and branches other places), and Embryo Donation International in Florida. RBA was my third opinion, and we thought about using their frozen egg bank, but decided to go with California Conceptions instead since we would also be using donor sperm.
Hi to everybody else... now to go back to lurking.
Maybe you meant vaginal?????????
I don't understand all of your posts but the headaches suck!!! Sorry to hear this.
Thank you all for your feedback. Just trying to understand all of my options before talking with my doctor. At the same time, I'm trying to take things one day at a time and not think too far ahead since nothing is guaranteed, anyway. It's a very hard balance. It's nice to have such knowledgeable women to turn to.
TF- Still rooting for you and baby toothfairy. I still say all signs point to hope!
Sourie - I'm sorry being back at work sucks so much. I've had some awkward work moments myself this week. I'm living on the double edged sword of having my superiors super supportive and understanding of what I'm going through but then at the same time I feel like the know too much. This week my boss had all kinds of questions like "how do the meds effect you?" 'so, when will you be pregnant? September?" "What if it's a high risk pregnancy, then what?" - All of it meant to ge genuine concern and interest but a very uncomfortable conversation to have with your boss who you know is trying to get her own needs met (planning for the future) when my situation is anything but plan-able! And it feels ridiculously vulnerable to have these conversations when it involves your livelihood... so many complications does IF treatment make. I was riveted reading your thoughts on acupuncture and your miscarriage. You make way too many good points to think otherwise. I'll be curious to hear about your conversation with your practitioner.
Tracyamber - I hate the feeling of last chance. I'm getting there quickly. Sometimes I think there's just no choice but to give up hope and just go through the motions. I like to believe God/the Universe/whatever is big enough to deal with our lack of optimism. It's probably worse to be mad at yourself for not being hopeful. So you will be transferring three? That definitely ups the odds, right?
Laggie - I'm so, so sorry you are still having to figure this stuff out. Will be curious to hear about your second opinion.
RCR - if you are still lurking... would love to know your thoughts on the Florida embryo donation group. I'm in Florida and I think that will be our next step if this doesn't work out.
Becky - keep us posted!
Xerxella - what are your next steps??
AFM - 12 dpo. Waiting on AF. Have been doing testosterone priming in preparation for this next IVF round. We are going mini stim this time.
Sourire - That is a really good point. I feel like I need to try one more cycle with my own eggs before we move on to donor eggs. Also I do want to wait until we get the genetic tests back from the miscarriage.
I think this is a shock because I always felt like we had sperm donation as a "back-up plan" if IVF didn't work. So now that they are telling me that my egg quality is poor, it's a big adjustment to think that our only option is MORE technology instead of less.
Becky - have you started stims? I don't know anything about Viagra with IVF but it can't be worse than progesterone suppositories! (or can it?)
rcr - I don't think I'm ready for donor eggs yet. But thank you for all of the info, there are so many places to check out. I would lean towards either being local (they are starting to import frozen eggs now, or I could go to Seattle) or flying to Europe.
indie - I am not sure because our RE doesn't explain much about how they evaluate the embryos - but I think that if the embryos didn't look like they would make it to day 5, freezing them at day 3 would not help at all, your only hope would be to transfer them right away. The stress of freezing/thawing surely must be worse than the stress of living 2 more days in the dish?
toothfairy - Yay! A baby! Grow, baby, grow! A cyst, I wonder if that's why my left ovary is still giving me funny little twinges. Maybe they missed a follicle when they did my retrieval. Or maybe they just damaged it (I fear.)
tracy - I hope this FET works for you. I am also struggling with knowing when to give up. It's difficult because I start to feel like I can't give up now, then it would all be for nothing. And yet I could do more cycles and have it still be for nothing.