I'm not entirely sure why I'm writing this... I'm not sure if I want advice or just to express the situation to people who won't just immediately scoff at the idea of unassisted childbirth.
We're definitely having a home birth, everything has gone absolutely perfect during the pregnancy, and there would have to be serious complications in the next few weeks to make me consider starting at a hospital (although we're planning on doing a maternity ward at the local hospital just in case we have to move there). We're working with a group of midwives and they don't make me uncomfortable or anything (there's one that neither of us like, actually, but she isn't on call as often so hopefully we won't get her), but they aren't exactly my best friends. I'd feel much more comfortable if it were just my partner and me. I'm usually the one who's completely paranoid and constantly thinking of the worst case scenario, but right now (week 34!) I actually feel fairly confident that my body is perfectly capable of delivering this baby without anyone's help, and it feels like the right thing to do.
I am still worried about something going wrong, though. I don't know all the indications that there's a problem and I don't know how to handle problems that arise as well as the midwives would. If we decided to do this unassisted and something went wrong and we lost the baby- I don't know if I could live with myself. But I still have this really strong desire to have an unassisted birth.
My partner also isn't very comfortable with the idea of a totally unassisted birth, although is fine with waiting until a little bit later than we're necessarily supposed to to call the midwives (my partner actually suggested it, I was thinking about it but hadn't brought it up). I don't think either of us really want them there, just don't feel comfortable taking the risk in having it completely unassisted.
My mom had a very short labor for me- unintentionally UC with dad on the phone with the midwife the whole time to find out what to do- so I'm mostly hoping that the kid'll take after me and will decide to be born without any complications before the midwives are able to get here.