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Are you ready?

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 

"To do" lists aside, are you"ready" for your baby to arrive? 

 

My husband made the comment yesterday, "I feel like we are ready for the baby." Of course we've got a bunch of stuff we'd LIKE to get done first, but he feels we are mentally and physically prepared.  This is our 5th, so we are aware that "things" are not really needed to be ready for baby.  For instance, we still haven't used the crib we had to have set up before our first was born...thank goodness it converted to a bed so it wasn't a complete waste.  Sure it's nice to have a changing table, but we could change the baby on the floor.  You can get pretty much anything you actually need (diapers, clothes) on the fly if you had to.  So are YOU ready?

 

My answer is not really.  My greatest concern is for my office.  I'm a chiropractor in a private practice and I have an associate doctor who will cover for me while I'm away, but it's just not the ideal situation.  My practice will decrease a lot without me or someone like me (female, compassionate, good leader.)  I really need to find another associate doctor before the baby is born and get them acclimated to my office, staff, and patients before I leave.  I'm really feeling the stress, as I haven't interviewed any great candidates. 

I want to take a nice solid, care-free 3 months off with the new baby and our changing family.  As it stands now, I would maybe be able to a month off and then have to go back at least a few hours every other week just to see my patients who won't see anyone else.  And overall my practice (and therefore, our income) will still decline a lot. Not to mention, it's not the ideal care for my picky (for lack of a better word) patients to have access to me for such a limited time (although they could choose to see my associate--but won't.)

 

My husbands only concern is that our 23 month old is still very attached to co-sleeping (although we haven't really tried to get her into a toddler bed in our room) and we need to make room in our bed for the new baby.  He just doesn't think that situation is going to be any different in a 2-3 months anyway.

 

Are you ready?  If not, what's your concern?

post #2 of 12

We are woefully behind on our list of stuff to do, mostly projects around the apartment that need to be finished (like painting!! We were supposed to do that last weekend! It did not get done.) I don't really feel like we need much STUFF, though admittedly I'm probably being a bit too lax on that because we literally have nothing right now. My mom has a bunch of NB clothes that she is bringing along with her, along with a boppy and a moby wrap, and I have an Ergo. We have a small stash of diapers and all of the blankets/burp rags from when DD was little. And I have my boobs, So I guess we have the major bases covered! We are going to be co-sleeping all 4 of us in bed, so we intend to upgrade to a higher-quality mattress. Gotta do that soon. And also get a bed rail.Anyhow, all of that is better suited for the other thread! I'm rambling and off track.

 

To answer the question, I do believe that we are emotionally and mentally ready. I had a few days here and there over the past month or so where it would hit me that we are about to have 2 KIDS OMG and I'd kind of freak out. What about all of my free-time?! I've grown really attached to it! But luckily I think I've managed to (mostly) get over that by focusing on the fact that babies are extremely needy for only a short period of time, and then--as our experience with #1 has taught us--things DO get better and you actually start finding time to brush your hair and take a shower and feed yourself! I'm still a little worried about when/how I will manage to get back out for runs when we have 2 little ones. I guess I could invest in a double jogger?! I think the balance of free time is the scariest aspect for me. DH and I had some growing pains regarding that issue when #1 came along, and we both went through periods where we were overextending ourselves and not getting enough "me time" and it quickly led to burnout. And it was tough not to turn against each other just a little and compare who was getting more sleep/free-time/sex (lol, that last one is a joke--no one was getting any sex!) It's hard because we don't have any relatives near by, so the burden of childcare is always on our shoulders. And our budget doesn't really allow for regular babysitters, especially now with 2 babies. So it's a delicate balancing act, and this transition is going to jostle things a bit. Hopefully we've learned enough the first time around that this adjustment won't be too tough.

 

The other issue for me is money. I feel like we're doing pretty well and we have a decent amount in savings, but our income is kinda in flux right now and it's hard to feel settled when I'm not sure what the income situation will look like once the dust has settled. We may or may not be losing a steady $200-400/month (which is a significant amount to us!) And that's not counting maternity leave. Also we have run into a financial issue involving my brother, a lease that my name is still on despite my not living in that apartment for over a year, and a possible eviction scenario (which would end up on my record because my name is still on the lease! EEP!) so I may be "loaning" (giving) $800 to my brother (who already owes us almost $400!) In addition to all of the baby-related expenses, and pre-school for DD, that $800 is making me feel a little anxious. Plus, I've been trying to get our savings up to 12-16k, and it seems like every time we get above 10k something happens to knock us back under that figure. It's so FRUSTRATING!

post #3 of 12

This being my first I don't think I will ever be fully and truly ready.  I have no idea what is to come.  No matter how much I've read and researched, no matter how many other first time mom's I've been around, no matter how much preparing I do, I feel like I won't even know what to be ready for until it all happens.  Luckily DP and I are very simple people and we don't need much stuff, so that has not been a worry on my mind at all during pregnancy (we are co-sleeping, Baby won't have much of it's own space so that limits how much we would even think about getting). 

 

I feel that, emotionally, I am ready. I am ready to be a Momma and I am ready to see DP change into a father role (and see how cute he and Baby are going to be together, gosh just thinking about it makes my eyes all teary!).  I am ready for the change that is going to come with all of this.  I am ready to spend the summer laying in the grass with a newborn and strapping Baby to my chest while I work in the garden. I am ready (or maybe just prepared) for sleepless nights and moments of total confusion over how to handle a newborn baby throwing a fit and screaming in my face.

 

At the same time, I know I am not fully ready.  I still have fears and worries, which probably won't go away before Baby comes.  I still haven't told many of my clients that I am taking two months off (I'm a massage therapist) and the fear of losing clients and the struggle of building back up a fairly new practice is nerve wracking.  Of course there are financial worries, but luckily DP reminds me that everything will be okay and we will make it work no matter what.  Summer is coming, food is growing in the garden, Baby will need very little but our love and my breast milk.  I feel very blessed to have DP's support, I really don't think I would be as calm as I am without him.

 

All in all, I do think I am "ready."  At least as ready as I'll ever be for my first baby!

post #4 of 12
Quote:
I feel that, emotionally, I am ready. I am ready to be a Momma and I am ready to see DP change into a father role (and see how cute he and Baby are going to be together, gosh just thinking about it makes my eyes all teary!).  I am ready for the change that is going to come with all of this.  I am ready to spend the summer laying in the grass with a newborn and strapping Baby to my chest while I work in the garden. I am ready (or maybe just prepared) for sleepless nights and moments of total confusion over how to handle a newborn baby throwing a fit and screaming in my face.

 

This sums up most of my feelings.  But in the same breath I am very NOT ready and equally terrified of the journey before us.  But I know we'll figure it all out, even if it is painful along the way.

post #5 of 12

I kinda feel ready. I have all the baby items I need ready to go. I have been watching natural birth videos to inspire me for my vbac. Things that we still need to get done:

1. our bathroom. We need to buy a vanity and paint. It has been under construction for months...we  just ignore it.

2. I need some highlights in my hair for summer :P  

3. I am trying to get my garden planted. I just never have energy to bend over the rows. 

4. finish chicken coop for new batch of young chicks. they have to get out of the garage.

5. buy a minivan. I have a Subaru Forester. I just don't have the room for my 10 yo to be comfortable.

6. Hire a doula

7. replace some elastic in my diapers

post #6 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by circle vortex View Post

I kinda feel ready. I have all the baby items I need ready to go. I have been watching natural birth videos to inspire me for my vbac. Things that we still need to get done:

 

 

I'm in a GREAT private Facebook group supporting VBAC moms.  If you need/want more info or support message me, and I'll lead you to it. 

I've had 4 cs and am really hoping, praying, and trying for a vbac.

post #7 of 12

I went searching and found most of our baby stuff in the garage this weekend and have ordered and bought most of what we need already. I still need some clothes for baby and a few other odds and ends, but I'm only going to be 26 weeks tomorrow, so I know I have plenty of time. I'm feeling good for having gotten a look at what we still have. I wasn't completely sure because I had gotten rid of a lot thinking that my third baby would probably be my last. I'm actually feeling pretty excited to get this show on the road and almost wish I was a couple months further along because now the time is starting to feel like it's going by too slow, but I want to have my house all organized, clean and ready, so it's probably good that I have more time and it'll be nice for my current youngest to have a few more months on her. She's maturing very quickly lately. 

post #8 of 12

I have a few clothing items and that is about it...  I at least cleared out what used to be my home office and am picking out paint colors.  No nursery furniture yet, everyone tells me to wait until my shower, but that isn't until May 18th (I'll be 35 weeks at that time) so hopefully my little bun will stay in the oven.  I would have my shower sooner, but I wanted to wait until it was nice out (the spring time can be rather cold here in Wisconsin).  If baby happens to come early, then we'll have to scramble...  I feel emotionally ready.  Still haven't taken a lamaze class or a L&D class yet.  We have a cloth diapering class at the end of the month.  DH is very excited too.  It is touching to see him smile this huge wide grin and have a sparkle in his eye when we look at baby items and talk about things that we're going to do as a family. 

post #9 of 12
Quote:

Plus, I've been trying to get our savings up to 12-16k, and it seems like every time we get above 10k something happens to knock us back under that figure. It's so FRUSTRATING

 

Good for you for being so committed to this Kitteh- it isn't easy when on a tight budget.  Our EF only has $500 in it and it keeps me awake most nights knowing that if disaster strikes, our only option is to beg parents for $.  (Pathetic, I know).  This baby has forced us to get our sh*t together financially, so at least we're budgeting now and have a monthly budget that will force us to put $ away (unfortunately most of the extra is going to go to baby's daycare). 

post #10 of 12

It`s our first baby and we can`t wait to have her in our arms :)

But we haven`t bought anyting yet . I don`t know when is the proper moment to start buying..I still feel like it`s early and don`t know what to start with.

My aunt gives me a lot of clothes for the baby, so we don`t have to buy clothes at all. 

I think we could start buying things for our maternity bag ( I don`t know if it`s like this everywhere, but here in Romania,the hospital recquires us to have a bag with stuff for mom and baby, at the moment of birth : personal objects for hygene, breast cream, cotton pads, baby cream, diapers, baby powder, a blanket for the baby, onesies, etc)

post #11 of 12

We are ready.  It just kind of clicked the other day.  There is certainly more things we can get done, but nothing that is really make it or break it.  The biggest things that I am worried about are the same things that I have been worried about all along - DS; both in terms of adjusting and in terms of sleep.  He had started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago, which was absolutely amazing....and then he's now back to needing more attention again and wanting to cuddle and nurse all through the early morning hours.  It's sweet, but I can't imagine how bringing a baby into the world is going to affect that dynamic. And my psyche. Over all I think he is kind of excited about becoming a "big brother" and will occasionally ask where "baby sister" is, but at Easter I held my cousin's baby and asked if DS wanted to see it.  The look on his face was both terrified and devastated - I think he thought it was "THE" baby and he wasn't ready for that, not for a long shot.  he asked me to pick him up and we walked away to look at the baby from a distance and I explained that it wasn't OUR baby.  Then he just became sort of indifferent about it.  But he is touching my belly more....That part I am terrified about!! (Introducing a new baby).  But I can't really avoid that now!!!

post #12 of 12
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BabySmurf View Post

We are ready.  It just kind of clicked the other day.  There is certainly more things we can get done, but nothing that is really make it or break it.  The biggest things that I am worried about are the same things that I have been worried about all along - DS; both in terms of adjusting and in terms of sleep.  He had started sleeping through the night a few weeks ago, which was absolutely amazing....and then he's now back to needing more attention again and wanting to cuddle and nurse all through the early morning hours.  It's sweet, but I can't imagine how bringing a baby into the world is going to affect that dynamic. And my psyche. Over all I think he is kind of excited about becoming a "big brother" and will occasionally ask where "baby sister" is, but at Easter I held my cousin's baby and asked if DS wanted to see it.  The look on his face was both terrified and devastated - I think he thought it was "THE" baby and he wasn't ready for that, not for a long shot.  he asked me to pick him up and we walked away to look at the baby from a distance and I explained that it wasn't OUR baby.  Then he just became sort of indifferent about it.  But he is touching my belly more....That part I am terrified about!! (Introducing a new baby).  But I can't really avoid that now!!!

Awww. Sweet.  I remember the worries I had about how our first son would be, when our second son was orn (18 months apart.)  He actually took it very well.  It was nice that he was still nursing too because I think it helped a lot.  I would put my feet up in a recliner when I nursed the new baby and my first son would lay down between my legs with his head on the edge of the boppy pillow.  I don't think I nursed them at the same time often if at all, but I did do that with subsequent children.  It's especially swet when they are nursing together and holding hands or looking at each other. 

It will all be good.  But I know what you mean.  Actually this transition with our 4th child who will be 2 soon, may be our hardest.  She is very clingy to me and DH even though she is very independent in most ways.  She also sort of bullies her bigger sister and brothers and they put up with up because she isn't much of a bother to them, but if she is as rough with the new baby that would be a problem.  It seems even toddlers have some sense about being gentle with babies though, and of course we'll watch her like a hawk.  She may be the first baby we don't get out of our bed and into their own before the baby comes.  She seems to be firmly planted in cosleeping and unless she is bothered by the baby waking and crying often, she'll probably stay in there with us too.

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