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Mothering › Groups › March 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › Weekly chat thread: March 31st - April (!!!) 6th

Weekly chat thread: March 31st - April (!!!) 6th

post #1 of 30
Thread Starter 

New chat thread!

post #2 of 30
Thread Starter 

So, still haven't had a baby. smile.gif We've had a beautiful springtime weekend here in Seattle, though, and it looks like more sunshine and warmish weather through the rest of the week. Awfully nice!

 

My mom took care of cooking dinner tonight, so I'm feeling quite pampered. And it will be nice to have company during the day now while my husband goes to work! Unless the baby comes. Maybe the baby will come! eyesroll.gif

post #3 of 30
Hi chocolatechip smile.gif. It sounds like you had a great weekend! I'm glad your mom is there to help you out. I'm still pregnant, too, but i know it wont be for much longer. I've been resting a lot, trying to enjoy these last moments of being pregnant, i know i will miss it.
post #4 of 30

I think this is the first night since Astrid was born that I've actually sat down at my computer for any length of time.

 

It's been hard to keep up. I've been avoiding a lot of threads, because I know I am (deep down) still disappointed that I wound up with a repeat cesarean, despite being happy with the c-section itself. I am happy, almost blissfully so, but I am also angry and jealous and lots of other ugly things, so, if I am quiet, it is because I am trying to stifle the negative and focus on the positive.

 

I don't remember being so absolutely enamored of this stage of babyhood, last time. I can't get enough of staring at my baby, of touching her, of snuggling her. I don't want to share her, and I love the excuse to just sit in bed all day and cuddle her. This week has been amazingly peaceful, despite surgery and company, and my mom insisting that we shop as much as I can handle (not much, incidentally.) I both look forward to and dread the day that my mom goes home and life goes back to "normal." My eldest will go back to school. My husband will go back to work. And I will have to go back to being wife and mom, housekeeper and errand-runner and the babymoon will be over.

post #5 of 30

cabbit, glad you're enjoying your babymoon. Totally understand the mixed feelings. http://www.shivayanaturals.com/2011/03/expectations.html Wanted to share this lovely post about letting go of expectations and acknowledging how every birth is precious, no matter how it happened.

 

2 days past due and the phone calls have started, ugh. DS was one week late and he ended up being born by c-sec partly because of a failure to wait on part of everyone, including the doc. Here I am...reliving that kind of pressure again. Moms whose babies come on time, do you know how lucky you are? I need to create a bubble of peace around myself and start up my meditation practice again.

post #6 of 30

Chocolatechip - how far past your due date are you? Today is 41+1 for me. 

 

Cabbit - Here I am, 41+1 weeks pregnant and now I am freaking about the possibility of a cesarean...and at the same time thinking back to the years my husband and I spent trying to have a baby. It is now a surprisingly hard thing to let go of - the idea of a natural birth. I am not sure what my birth experience will end up being like, but I am trying to stay open and not cling to my idea of a perfect birth. Yet, if it doesn;t happen, I expect to feel a lot like you seem to. Disappointed and happy.

 

It's hard to believe because I recall a time after which I had had a third miscarriage and years of infertility when a friend was really upset about having had to have had a cesarean. At the time I kept my mouth shut but at the time I felt like saying, "Are you crazy, I would die for such a beautiful baby?!". But I guess I have changed and now I do realize everyone deserves their own grief when childbirth ends up so differently than you planned and prepared and hoped for, and it seems important not to minimize that - I think you should not necessarily"stifle" the negative, but perhaps journal about it in a mindful way. Everyone has their own story in life, and the positive and negative feelings make your own. On the other hand, I think you are right in that it is good to keep your eye on the positive, because you have everything to feel proud and happy about, too. 

 

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. Time to go see my OB...

post #7 of 30

Hey everyone!  Still here at 41+3!  Feels like *something* is happening, though.  Yesterday starting mid-afternoon very crampy but no regularly-spaced contractions. I learned my lesson, though, and said NOTHING, not even to DP.  Puttered around cleaning out vehicles, and DD and I checked oil/fluids in three of them.  DP and I were both pretty tired, so we went to bed nice and early (8pm!).  I started having more regular contractions, and finally got to the point where I was going to wake up DP to fill up the birth tub.  But I held off, saying to myself "just one more good one......." and then I was able to (finally) fall asleep.  So they were still around when I woke up, but nothing huge.  Got up, did chores, got kids off to school/work, and then talked with DP about the plan for the day.  I ended up going to work at my cleaning job (only two hours, and it was REALLY funny to see my client's face when I showed up!).  I figured it's only 15 minutes away and my friend/neighbor that I clean with was driving, so why not?  I had pretty steady strong crampy contractions the whole time, so something's up in there, but still only a bit of mucous and NO bloody show, so who knows?  I'm back home now, making some lunch, and preparing to fill the tub and text DP to come home if things progress.  He's only 25 minutes away, so I'm pretty comfortable with that.  

 

Meggsy, I wanted to address your concern about the epidural.  I thought it might help if I shared my first birth experience.  I started having contractions with her when I was 40+3.  Unlike what I had been told/read, my contractions were coming every TWO minutes!  :O  They weren't painful, but they were so frequent that I thought I'd go to the OB.  They slapped the monitor on me, since they couldn't believe that I was having them so frequently but wasn't in any sort of discomfort.  They looked at the machine, and said "Oh, wow, you ARE in labor" and sent me to the hospital.  After walking the halls all afternoon, and part of the evening, they decided to give me morphine "so I could get some rest." For some reason that I can't remember, my (now Ex) DH went home, and my mother stayed with me overnight.  OK, so morphine makes me REALLY REALLY hyper and goofy.  Not sleepy. At. All.  So, come morning, they decided to break my water.  Well, that got things going (sort of), and I kept walking.  They had started an IV "to give me fluids."  Well, what I didn't know, was that they had also given me Pitocin WITHOUT ASKING OR EVEN INFORMING ME that they were going to do that.  The Pit made my labor REALLY REALLY awful.  By early evening I was begging for an epidural.  The anesthesiologist (when he finally showed up) looked like he'd been up for two weeks straight, and it took him three jabs to get it in correctly.  It was HORRIBLE.  But, once I got the epidural, the pain went away, and I was finally able to dialate the last little bit.  I felt very lucky because I was able to feel the contractions and to push, so at least I was able to push my DD out.  She was in some distress when she finally was born, and needed oxygen, but I felt pretty lucky to have avoided the C-section. 

 

So......what I have gathered from that experience, and my three births (and what I've had so far for this one), is that I am not the textbook laborer. I START labor with contractions two minutes apart.  Heck, that's what happened to me this time when I was 39+6!  And they petered out and stopped.  So clearly, I wasn't really "in labor" with my first DD.  I wish they had sent me home!  But also, I think that breaking membranes is a much gentler way to go into labor, and I think if I had been a week or two past my EDD it would have been enough, without doing the whole Pit thing.  So I'm really thinking that if you are that far past EDD, you probably won't need to go through the whole Pit thing, which is what made my labor so awful.  My last three births were very managable--#2 and #3 were waterbirths with a midwife (hospital), and #4 was a homebirth with the same midwife.  The plan for this birth is a home waterbirth with different midwives (still in the same practice as my former midwife, but she retired from births a few years ago. :(  I'm super happy with all three of the midwives at this practice though, so I'm totally excited to go forward and HAVE THIS BABY!  

 

Anyway......just thought I'd share.  I also can related, CabbitDancer, about disappointment about birth--I wasn't really upset with my first birth until I had my second DD and realized how angry I was that I had been put through that experience.  I vowed to never deal with OBGYNs after that......I was lied to, and I was so angry!  On the other hand, my DD was/is fine, and my experience wasn't as awful as it could have been.  So, it is a struggle.  It is important to feel the feelings and process them, though.  {{{HUGS}}}.

 

Much love and lots of labor vibes to everyone still left!  :)

 

~farmer

post #8 of 30
Meggsy, you hit the nail on the head. We also dealt with years of infertility, and my self from three years ago would have wanted to smack me in the face. But there is reality to the feelings of hoping for a natural birth and staring the very possible reality of a c-section in the face. In fact, I think I find many of my infertility buttons are being triggered by feeling like my body can't do what it's "supposed" to do, even though it has grown TWO beautiful and wonderful babies! I am an emotional wreck today at 41+6, and I meet with my OB this afternoon to find out what she recommends at this point. If I"m not dilated at all, then there's not much on the induction front they can do (since I had a c-section with DD). I am also trying very hard to focus on the positive, like how amazing it will be to hold this little one. It doesn't erase the other feelings, though, it just can't. Sigh...thanks to you, and cabbit, and all the others who are feeling similarly for sharing.

eta - keeptryst, thank you for that link. I think I need to keep reading it.
post #9 of 30

Wow, so many of these issues speak to me too! We also experienced years of infertility. And I am probably going to be processing for quite a while the way Kate's birth happened. It was nothing at all like the gentle, lovely, natural birth experience that I had hoped for... by the time I did end up in a c-section it was almost a relief (even though a c-section was the #1 thing my husband and I wanted to avoid at ALL costs because we knew recovery would be very difficult for me, which it is proving to be!), because I was so sick and exhausted and both the baby and I kept having problems throughout the labor. 

 

But Meggsy (and others who are worried), I will say this - although my birth was extremely traumatic and not at all what I had hoped for (pretty much the opposite of what I'd hoped in every respect), this week with my precious baby has been so very healing. I still have MUCH to process about my birth experience, and I imagine it is something I'll be working on for months if not years. But in the end, this sweet baby is worth every minute of that difficult experience, and that helps with my healing a lot.

 

One thing I've thought about doing is sometime in the next few months seeing a counselor with experience in birth trauma - anyone else done this?

post #10 of 30

Oh my goodness you guys!  I so wish we were all in the same room together, eating chocolates, passing tissues to each other and giving huge hugs!  

 

My first birth was also rather traumatic... Induction turned c/s after 3 hours of pushing.  I also felt manipulated and totally out of control.  I struggled so hard to come to terms with everything.

 

Then, my third and fourth pregnancies ended in miscarriage and it was really hard to conceive my rainbow (Shiloh).  My first loss was also a really traumatic experience (severe life threatening obstetric hemorrhage) and again feeling the loss of control over my body and decision making.  As I lay in that hospital bed getting transfused, I remember thinking that as horrible as this was, it was equally traumatic to me (but in different ways) as my first birth. That was a huge surprise to me that I thought that. 

 

I think that retaining autonomy, having a say in your care, goes a looong way into making your experience positive.

 

at the hospital in work at, I've talked to many mothers who have had natural births feel upset about their births because they had planned on an epidural and didn't have time to get one.  What they expected and what their reality was were totally different.  I find that very interesting.

 

anyway, I just wanted to chime in and say that I totally empathize.  Only God knows why he allows us to experience these things. All I know is that I am a much stronger (and more assertive in a healthy way) person now because of these things.  It has allowed me to become a better, more compassionate nurse as well.  

Much love to all of you as we continue to process and integrate our stories!

post #11 of 30

Oops, Double post!  

post #12 of 30
Thread Starter 

Meggsy, I am 40+4 right now, but I have quickly come to understand why people get antsy as soon as their due date goes by! Even knowing that almost all babies are born by 7-10 days past EDD, it's so hard to not want it to come right NOW. I can't imagine terming out of having a home birth!

 

Cabbit, I think Meggsy has a good point. It can be good to accept that you have negative feelings about it, and that's okay! Focusing on the positive is good too, but acknowledging that it's okay you have some negative feelings can help you be gentle with yourself. hug2.gif

 

Farmer, you still here, or did it really turn into something? Two ladies on here talked about how they didn't have any bloody show/lose mucus plug until right before or well into labor, so it's not always an early sign, apparently. I'm trying to keep that in mind. smile.gif

 

 

Despite not yet having a baby, it has continued to be wonderful to have my mom here. She is making sure that between us, we have plenty of leftovers at all times in the fridge, so whenever the baby decides to come we're good for awhile. And we've been going for walks, and talking, and doing cryptic crosswords, and she helped me declutter and rearrange things in the kitchen like I've been wanting to do for a long time. So it feels really nice!

 

Also had a plumber out today, to install a new kitchen faucet (to replace one where the handle had broken off) and fix leaky shower bits and so on. Maybe the baby will come now that the plumbing is fixed? smile.gif

 

Still having contractions every day, on occasion, and mostly not too strong. So weird that it can just go on like this! (and I know it's nowhere near what you had, storygirl!)

post #13 of 30

Sending labor vibes to those of you who are still waiting. I went over with DS, so I know the anticipation that you must be feeling.

 

Farmer - I didn't really have any mucus/bloody show this time. The morning of the day I went into labor (not until the evening), I had the tiniest bit of blood when I wiped. It really was nothing. My mucus plug came out in the tub when I went to check to see if I could feel the head. Also, with DS I didn't get show or lost my plug until I was into active labor. So, it doesn't happen before for everyone.

post #14 of 30

Still here at 41+5!  This is the longest I've ever been pregnant.  Monday I had lots of cramping, mucous, pink on the toilet paper.  Was pretty sure things were happening.  Monday night into yesterday there was so much mucous it was as if a jellyfish had exploded inside of me!  We walked and I had contractions on and off all day.  Midwife who was on coverage yesterday (from another practice, all of my regular midwives were unavailable due to scheduling glitch) came by to check on me and did a quick membrane sweep.  More contractions, more "stuff" on my pad, but still, NOTHING.

 

DP and I went to bed at 11 last night, and I only got up ONCE to pee.  So finally I'm well rested, and my regular midwives are back.  So........maybe today?  I'm going nuts, feeling pretty discouraged and depressed.  :(  Maybe we'll go walk the dogs.  Right now we've got the truck up on a jack; DP and my DD were changing the brake pads, only to find one of the calipers was frozen (hence the issue with the brakes), so maybe we'll run into town and pick up a new caliper.  Yay.  

 

Good luck to everyone still waiting!  :)

~farmer

post #15 of 30

I'm still here. Had 24 full hours of "early labor" that turned into...nothing. That was April 1st. Had a few nights of sleep so that's good, but my body feels like it's been through labor and quite frankly, I don't want to do it again. 41+2 days today... I feel like with all of this prodromal crap our family life has been on hold for weeks. :/

post #16 of 30
Hi everyone! I had been reading and absorbing posts over the course of yesterday and found all of your experiences have really helped! Then suddenly I went into early labour last night which has since stalled....so things are progressing and slowing all at once. I was having intense, 4 then 2 minute-apart contractions for 6 hours and then boom, went to the hospital and have not dilated any more and contractions have eased up. So we are roaming around Manhattan today, waiting for the contractions to pick up again after being discharged. I am happy to have gone into labour but I still face inducement...your stories are actually helping me though. I do wish we were all in a room together, too!

Big hugs to you all...time to find something to do with my hubby!
post #17 of 30
PS eternalw - I hear ya about pre/early labour! After nine hours or so of it I am not a fan either!
post #18 of 30
Ladies-in-waiting, uugh, I really feel for you going through early labour only to have it fizzle out. I went to 42 +2 before going into spontaneous active labour with few early or prodromal signs at all.......so remember your bodies are preparing and it can happen any minute. Enjoy the last moments/days of pregnancy. I can hardly remember what it feels like a bare 2 1/2 weeks later. Good luck x
post #19 of 30
Thread Starter 

Also still here! 40+5. Trying to be both patient and ready. Having more trouble with the patience part. smile.gif I guess I should be glad that I still feel so reasonably good, but it means every morning I wake up and think there's no way baby's coming today. At least my mom's here to keep me a bit distracted. And the weather continues to be nice, so we went for another lovely walk along the water today. And I have a yoga class I can go to tonight, which I was really hoping not to go to, but will be good for me since the baby hasn't come yet!

post #20 of 30
I'm still here, too *sigh*. There's been so much "practice" labor, i have lost track. I'm now 42 weeks along and trying to stay positive. My intuition is strong, so i know it will tell me if something is wrong. I just want to be done and finally meet this little guy. Lots of love and ELVs to those who are still waiting...

Also, this article is wonderful for "overdue" mamas: http://angusbirthcompanion.moonfruit.com/ten-month-mamas/4520942714
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