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Weekly Chat April 1-7th - Page 3

post #41 of 68

Our baby's heartbeat has been over 170 at both ultrasounds (8 weeks and 11 weeks).

post #42 of 68

Hi all!

 

I just joined the due date group, as up until my appointment when we heard the heart beat (!!!!), I was convinced I might just have a very rare form of stomach cancer masquerading as a pregnancy. Turns out there really is a baby in there... whew! 

 

I'm 14 weeks and still feeling a little nauseated at times, but for the most part it seems to be subsiding. I'm looking forward to the day when I think, "oh my gosh--I'm eating without being terrified and (gasp) I'm enjoying my food!" I'm encouraged by the fact that I've at least been able to shop and meal plan this week without feeling sick. Maybe cooking will be around the corner soon.

 

I am trying not to put too many expectations on the 2nd trimester, but I am hoping the nausea will go away and I can start eating more veggies and less crackers. 

 

It's so great to read all of your stories and progress. I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you!

post #43 of 68
toss your name on the due date list thread with your due date and baby # and I will add ya! *when I get the chance as my computer at work is funky today. AFM my coworkers got upset at the guy who sits beside me having left his food in the fridge. they took it out and put it on his desk, yesterday. he left it there today. it really smells bad.....poor me
post #44 of 68

Thank you all for the congratulations! I am really excited to go back to school, now starts all the fun stuff- financial aid, advising, passing the biology CLEP.

 

Good luck Serafina! For which  program/field of study are you applying? Do you attempt to take classes this fall despite our big October?

 

hang in there for those of you waiting for your first appointment. It was so hard to wait and I was scared that it might be too soon still for the heartbeat but it wasn't. As soon as she felt my fundus she knew she'd find the little squirt. I can't remember who asked but my fundus has been half way between my pubic bone and belly button for a couple weeks and I'm just about 12weeks (maybe tomorrow). My midwife's wheel seems to add a couple days over the online edd calculators. 

post #45 of 68

Thanks, echospiritwriter!  Discrete Math.  I may try to take 1-2 classes this fall if I can, or then defer for a semester.

post #46 of 68
Thread Starter 

echo- Congrats (I think I forgot to mention it earlier).  I was in school when I was pregnant with Dd (it was just my bachelors) and for some reason thought it would be a great idea to take a full load the semester she was born.  I literally had her on a Monday and then went back to school the next Monday, it was horrible but I did it.  Somehow I managed 3 A's and one B+ that semester too.  I definitely recommend taking a smaller course load though!

post #47 of 68
I took 3 weeks off school with my son only because he was born in August! You can do it and school is so much easier than work for having an infant
post #48 of 68

i'm going to take online courses for a semester--plus i'm taking summer classes so i won't fall behind!
 

post #49 of 68

gosh dahlia, I hope so. I imagine it just completely depends on what the baby is doing at that exact moment when we check for the heart rate.  Both of ours could have been calmly sleeping in the 140 zone moments before.

 

afm So, I got a call yesterday morning that my job interview would be this morning. Then, over the course of yesterday I almost completely lost my voice and lost the ability to breathe out of my nose at all (awesome never ending cold) and then threw out my back..even better.  We had no pregnancy-safe pain relievers or cough drops in the house at all so I figured I'd stop on my way to the interview so I could at least semi-pull myself together beforehand. Then I get to the one market on the way there (already 20 minutes from home) and realize I forgot my wallet so all I have is the change in the bottom of my bag.  So, I could only get the cough drops which I guess was probably the better option since it cleared my sinuses and calmed my throat enough for me to be able to talk for an hour. I just sat there smiling and trying to pretend that the mere act of sitting wasn't totally killing my back.  I felt like it went well considering.  whew...sorry for the whinefest. I just needed to complain for a minute.

post #50 of 68

I had the WORST nightmare last night. My fiance turned into a hybrid man that was part him part my ex, and my ex parents-in-law also made an appearance and I dreamed i had the baby but the man-creature (that was sort of my current partner but much more like my ex, and with my ex's parents,) took the baby away from me. Like, for a day. My breasts were getting so sore and swollen and I knew I needed to nurse that baby and i was trying to find my baby but my partner had vanished and the baby was nowhere to be seen and I just FLIPPED my shit out. I woke myself up I was so hysterical, with actual sobbing, and I cried so hard I could hardly catch my breath, and I couldn't stop for like 15 minutes.

 

DF was awesome and tried so hard to comfort me and promised that nothing would ever happen to separate our child from its' mother. I clearly have a lot of yucky feelings inside about my ex (we have been to court over custody of our kids so many times, in fact about to go again because I'm not satisfied with the current status quo, and it's just such an awful feeling to know that your kids' dad and their grandparents would love to get rid of you from the picture or at least minimize your role as much as possible.) 

 

Yeah, so now I'm having nightmares where all these icky feelings about my ugly divorce are affecting me being excited and looking forward to a new child, because I don't feel secure and relaxed and confident that my full-time connection to the child will never be compromised. My sweet fiance is doing everything he can to convince me that he would never want to come between the baby and I for a moment but my experiences have left me traumatized.

 

In positive news, I then got invited to try out for a band as their frontwoman. They have a bunch of songs that need vocal tracks, so I listened to one and spent two hours writing the melody/lyrics, and I channelled all my negative feelings into angry lyrics and passionate vocals. I actually feel so much better now that I got it out on 'paper.' And even sang it out a dozen or two dozen times. Awesome since I've been looking for therapy but the providers in my area who speak English charge a ton. This whole songwriting-as-therapy could be way cheaper and more effective! :)

post #51 of 68

serafina:  what a terrible nightmare & awful feelings to have to endure!  i think one of the reasons i stay in a bad relationship is because i am so scared of losing my kids--he likes to threaten custody stuff & even though i know he's not motivated enough to actually follow through--it's enough to scare me!  i'm sorry you are treated so badly by your ex. 

i've been having really scary dreams with this pregnancy.  i didn't have that with my others.  i hope you can start feeling better soon.  i think songwriting is good therapy.  i've been writing since i was a kid to deal with all my crap.  have some fun with it!

 

i bought some baby stuff today because of course i got rid of all my baby stuff saying, "i'm never doing this again."  i have to admit--it's still exciting to pick out those little outfits.  plus i found the cutest stuffed bear.  i bought both of my boys a stuffed bear at a garage sale before they are born.  i somehow forgot to do this with my 3rd & when she ended up in the NICU i realized my mistake & bought her a teddy bear in the hospital gift shop.   today i just happened to stop at a garage sale & found the perfect stuffed bear that will be poppy's when she arrivesstillheart.gif

 

i feel like my baby bump is huge!  all of a sudden i just look so pregnant!  & i'm kinda digging itorngbiggrin.gif

post #52 of 68
Serafina- I just <3 the songwriting as therapy idea! Sorry about the dream... I'm still a little unnerved from my bad dream a week ago, even after hearing baby's heart beat.

Ciga- sorry you're feeling so under the weather. I'm fighting another pregnany cold right now. I was really hoping that my son's runny nose was due to teething, but no such luck redface.gif yay for a good interview, I'll be keeping positive thoughts out there for you!

Emconnell, Shiloh & John- I think you are all more of a warrior woman than I! I did 'walk' with my BS with my oldest being 2yo and about 7months pg with #2 so I'm pretty cautious about school and home life balance. I tried to take 3 courses the semester after my first was born. She was born in Late May and having never done this before I mistaking lot thought I could still do it all because I had a whole summer to get used to being a mother eyesroll.gif yeah by the time I realized I was way in over my head I had missed all of the drop deadlines and I actually got all F's. I was able to re-take 2/3 of those classes but had to leave an F on my transcript because the 3rd class was an honors class that is only offered every 4-6years redface.gif I'm now going to be really cautious about school & new baby, I'm pretty sure 1 class is max the semester of innocent.gif
post #53 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by emconnell View Post

serafina:  what a terrible nightmare & awful feelings to have to endure!  i think one of the reasons i stay in a bad relationship is because i am so scared of losing my kids--he likes to threaten custody stuff & even though i know he's not motivated enough to actually follow through--it's enough to scare me!  i'm sorry you are treated so badly by your ex. 

i've been having really scary dreams with this pregnancy.  i didn't have that with my others.  i hope you can start feeling better soon.  i think songwriting is good therapy.  i've been writing since i was a kid to deal with all my crap.  have some fun with it! 

Thanks!  Have you been writing lately to deal with your nightmares and stress lately?  I'm sorry you have been feeling awful lately as well.

I was where you were and have had things go VERY badly with my custody battle with my ex after leaving him, and it has been the worst thing I've ever gone through in my life (and it's still ongoing!  arghhhh!).  However, I have to say that I never second guess my decision to leave him, for a second.  The best thing I could have done for my children (as well as myself) is to make sure they didn't watch their mother get treated like crap their whole lives so they would have that sort of model to follow for their future marriages.  Now I am in a relationship with a man who never treats me disrespectfully, always has patience and kindness for me, and...he just lights up any room he's in with warmth, calm, sweetness, and relaxing energy.  Even when that huge legal bill blindsided us the other day, he was the one to open it up, and he didn't even get irritated by that.  I mean a five digit invoice representing the baggage from my previous relationship would unnerve nearly ANY partner in a new relationship, especially as we were thinking about having an affordable wedding and expecting our first baby.  But he just worried about how the bad news bill would affect MY emotional landscape and was really sensitive to how I was feeling about it.  He's so much more emotionally balanced than I am!

My point is, if you are being mistreated, especially while you are pregnant, it's not okay and there are men out there who are more emotionally mature and can handle stress without taking it out on their wife.  You deserve to be respected and treated well.   I don't know your situation so please excuse me if you can tell some of my assumptions are way off, I am just trying to support the instinct (that this relationship is causing more harm in your life than helping) that you have been sharing, since I've BTDT.

I do recommend that you get an excellent lawyer and get advice before you take any step, and make sure you have full awareness of the laws in your state so you can wisely leave your husband if it comes to that.

post #54 of 68
What a fabulous post Serafina- all of it!

Emconnell big big hugs
post #55 of 68
Thread Starter 

I am knocking on wood as I am typing this, but I am so excited to have my energy levels starting to go up again.  I am taking full advantage of it and went riding 4 wheelers with Dd and then have been helping my aunt and uncle in their garden all afternoon.  I stopped to grab a little snack and take a breather, but I am about to head out there and go at it again.  It feels so good to be useful again! Hopefully this keeps up well into my second trimester at least because I know my house will need a MAJOR deep cleaning when I get back to Hawaii plus I have about 1000 things on my to-do list before this baby arrives.

post #56 of 68

Serafina... I wish I knew you 10 years ago... your words are so wise.  You actually brought tears to my eyes with just how right you are.  I only had the courage to leave after I truly decided that I would rather be alone and broke with my son, than live like I was.  

Also - wow! Singer of a band sounds exactly like what a pregnant person should do LOL!  My old band wants to record, and I've been putting them off (all the rehearsals at night!) but you have just inspired me to give it a smash :) 

post #57 of 68
AFM I have had a tension headache since sat mornin.. Dp has massaged my knots
But I can't take anything strong greensad.gif
post #58 of 68
Quote:
Originally Posted by suzie mccool View Post

Serafina... I wish I knew you 10 years ago... your words are so wise.  You actually brought tears to my eyes with just how right you are.  I only had the courage to leave after I truly decided that I would rather be alone and broke with my son, than live like I was.  

 

I wish I knew me ten years ago too.  That's when I was 23, pregnant with my first child, in a foreign country, and getting screamed at regularly for absolutely nothing by my fiance.  I wish I could tell her that she shouldn't marry him, that she should never let anyone treat her that way.  However, I wouldn't have my younger son in that scenario, so I can't truly wish for that since that little boy is the biggest snuggle bunny a mama ever wished for (and he has my face exactly!  He is my mirror image).

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by suzie mccool View Post

 

Also - wow! Singer of a band sounds exactly like what a pregnant person should do LOL!  My old band wants to record, and I've been putting them off (all the rehearsals at night!) but you have just inspired me to give it a smash :) 

 

I have never done this before.  And it's heavy/alternative rock, too!  I normally sing blues/pop sexy/sultry stuff.  This is out of my comfort zone.  Not to mention WRITING the melodies and lyrics. Sheesh this is new.

I have written three now!  My darling fiance (who is in a death metal band himself and we have a home studio here) has just finished recording my vocals and mixing it in with the tracks, he is having the time of his life having a music project to work on with me.  joy.gif

post #59 of 68

Serafina - that is the coolest thing ever!!  Our band was a punk/garage band - and 2 years ago we won the award for best indie band in Adelaide :)  If we do get back together (even just for the sake of recording) it will be with my DH, my (estranged) brother and my ex husband... not awkward at all LOL

strangely, although he was a violent and mean husband, and an absent father, he is OK now we don't have too much to do with each other.  He only sees our son a couple of times a year, but calls me every couple of weeks for a hello etc, or to sort out things we both still own together (mainly bills lol).. I shouldn't trivialize how awful our marriage was, but the details are so far away from where I am now, there's not a lot of point reliving it.  But it was just awful.  Ironically, I stayed for so long for the sake of my son, but he is now so much more balanced and happy now, that I regret not leaving sooner.  I only made the call to finish it when ex forgot to censor his behavior around DS and destroyed part of the house trying to make a point.. That was when I chose to stop taking the blame for his bad behavior, and me and DS moved out.  Fast forward to now - happily married to much younger, much kinder nicer and cooler man who treats me and DS like royalty :)  hooray for happy endings smile.gif  And we have way more guitars and 2 drum kits now too, ex only played bass LOL

When you finish recording, please send me a copy by email to have a listen - I would love to hear it!  DH was in a metal band up until recently, as well as a few other side bands.. we have a soundproof jam room - but a home studio?  I'm so so jealous!
 

post #60 of 68

I PM'd you the dropbox links so you can download and listen the mp3s.

How can you really be in a band with that cast of characters??? Blows my mind!

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