I had so many random things I wanted to write down today, and kept getting diestracted. Boo erms.
We decided to join the bandwagon (it seems like everyone I know is doing potty boot camp this weekend!) and try for two potty days, since Rob won't really be home until Monday. She did really well today, just one accident, and one in her nap diaper. The pee on the floor, I grabbed an insert and was wiping up, and she looked at me all horrified and was like "Mah peeps!!" I burst out laughing. Like what... you want me to leave them there?
Kind of feeling like the car thing is done. Don't remember what I updated, but she emailed us and said she had to go away on a trip unexpectedly, and won't be back until the 14th. We asked if we could talk to Ford in the meantime, and she asked if there was any information she could get from them for us. We said a full list of what the car has would be wonderful, but really, we just wanted something on paper stating what the actual money we would be responsible for was- ie what the remainder on the loan was. She never got back to us. I'm assuming we won't hear back until the 14th now, but I'm kind of suspecting maybe she's trying to see if she can sell it for more money first before getting back to us. As a seller, yeah that makes sense... Why give away a $25,000 car for $16,500 when you could easily get at LEAST $20k for it easily. But from the buyer perspective-- I wanted that deal!!
I feel like we're adjusting really well to DH being on this weird shift schedule. But I also kind of feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop! lol
I know I say this like once a week, but seriously, Tenley seems SO grown up, and so much moreso every day. She seems all toddler now, and no baby at all. She's snotty type sick right now too, so she's even throwing mini tantrums. All I can think is "oh dear!" I'm in for it once she throws real fits. lol. But otherwise, just like how much listening she does, and is taking in. She knows body parts. No idea from where. Ash must have taught her. And when I get up in the morning, I tell her "Mama needs to get dressed first." And she'll go into my closet and grab pants and my socks. If she picks up something off the floor, she'll go over open the garbage and put it in. And she puts dirty laundry away if I ask. If I ask her to put Hurley in his crate, she'll walk over and stand beside it holding the door open while death staring him, and sometimes calling for him. Then when he comes over, she slams the door on him. It's just all so crazy!
So... she's 16 months. She's all of a sudden the last week been nursing a lot less. I know some of it is her stuffed up nose, and some because we spent a few days in a row with long outings out of the house, but it's crazy. There's been like 3 days where I realized that she went like 6 hours without nursing. Now, when I'm working, she goes 9-10 hours, but it's totally different when I'm not there. Usually when we're at home, she wants to nurse every 2-3 hours still, and when we do outings, she nurses right before we go, right when we get home, and sometimes even while we're out still, depending what we do. But for instance on Monday we were at the Y. I nursed her when she woke up at 730am. Then again at about 9am. Then not again I think until like 5pm. And then again at bed at 730. That seems -crazy- to me. I'm so torn, because on one hand, I want to nurse until age 2. I know all the benefits and I feel like I should. So I feel like I should keep kind of encouraging her. On the other hand... I want her to be able to wean naturally at her pace, even if that's before age 2. And, I mean the idea of being done nursing seems really nice in a lot of ways (and really terrifying and devastating in a lot of ways too). It's just weird thinking like ok... She's 16 months, there's 8 months before she turns 2. Could she go 8 months only nursing 5 times in a day?
Now, I know realistically, this is all moot, because really, there were days two weeks ago even, where she did want to nurse every two hours or less, all day long, and I wanted to shoot myself. And I know those days will probably happen again. I guess I just need to remind myself to let our nursing relationship unfold organically, and how is right for us (well mostly her), and not try to get caught up in dates and statistics and that. I guess part of me feels like if I don't nurse until at least 2, then people won't truly consider me a breastfeeding 'success' or resource, or will think it makes me a quitter or something. And that's a crappy reason to continue breastfeeding, I know. But I guess it makes me feel a bit like a hypocrite to be all "YAH! Breastfeed until 2 and beyond!" and then potentially not do the same myself, kwim? Which is twisted, because I know many women who didn't breastfeed that long, and some who breastfed for much much less time, and yet I still consider them a success. So I'm trying to reframe my mind.
Actually brings something up. Friend of mine- basically follows most/all AP tenets, but has been severely burned by people in the local AP group specifically, and feels like some of the AP stuff she did with her second oldest led to his behavioral issues. Anyways, point is, she refuses to be called AP, even though she mostly is. Also, she has breastfed all four of her children so far, for varying lengths, but got very very defensive and almost angry when people asked if she was going to nurse her current babe, and has spoken out against the Baby Friendly initiative in New York I think it was, that stopped having free formula avail to moms in hospital, by saying it was judgmental and not supportive, etc etc. Anyways, so I thought a lot about what I'd ever say if it came up in conversation, like seriously went through it in my head, several different times. Not because I thought it would ever come up, we're more FB friends than real friends, but I think because I needed to figure out how *I* really did feel about it. So here's the gist of what i came up with... "I completely support your choice to not breastfeed this baby. It doesn't worry me, it doesn't bug me. You wanna know why? Because of two main reasons- First, you extended nursed your first two into toddlerhood (side note- the first she pumped for almost two years apparently, even though he wasn't in her care), and secondly, because you have encountered problems in a previous breastfeeding relationship, and worked through them. This tells me everything I need to know about your decision to, or not to, nurse another baby. It tells me that you understand and believe in the value of breastmilk for a baby and toddler. It tells me that you believe breastmilk is superior to formula. It shows me that you're not choosing not to breastfeed because it's icky, or selfish, or too hard. I know that you're making this choice not out of a lack of support or information or because breastfeeding is too hard. You've worked through issues and hard times, and know that it's possible to keep going even when times are tough. And that's all I need to know. Your decisions about your body and the best choices for your family and your baby are yours to make, and it doesn't matter to me what that decision ends up being, as long as you're doing so from a place of knowledge and support, and not because you don't have all the information or don't have people rallying around you knowing you can succeed."
So... it sounds like a bug jumble, and like I said, I know I'll never really have that conversation with her, but it was really good -for me- to kind of hash it out in my brain. And I think it really does reflect how I feel about it all. Does it make me sad when a baby isn't breastfed? Yeah. But as long as that decision is being made with ALL the facts, and not from a place of ignorance, and maybe even moreso, as long as that decision is not made because the mama didn't have the support and confidence to know she could do it... then, I guess on a lot of levels, that's all I need to know. Some mamas will choose not to breastfeed, and that's their choice- I just -hate- the idea of someone not breastfeeding when they wanted to, because of people around them not being supportive, and them not being able to find a tribe of women who would help them, and get them the information and support and commiseration to know they could do it. That makes me so sad when I hear of women giving up at a few months old because they encountered a problem and didn't know what to do, so people just told them to move to formula. :(
Ok, rambled enough, can't believe Ten didn't wake up yet. Off to get ready for bed before she does!