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Weekly Chat, April 1-7 - Page 2

post #21 of 45
Thanks for the pep talk dakipode. Sometimes it gets on top of me. But I'm feeling a bit better this evening since getting home and having quality time with my DB.

I'm not a fan of game of thrones but my DB loves it, he's already started watching the new series.
post #22 of 45

Thanks for being so upbeat dakipode. I've been doing more worrying about the future now that I don't feel physically ill all the time anymore.


DH has been depressed the last couple of days because his mother has been sick (basically a cold that just won't go away plus cataract surgery) and is really depressed. Yesterday she asked to move in with us, which neither one of us thinks is a good idea. She lives a couple states away right now.


I've been thinking maybe I should start exercising. I've never been very fit. I was thinking about trying prenatal yoga. Anybody have any suggestions?

post #23 of 45
Count me in as a semi-obsessed Doctor Who girl...my older DD was a Dalek for Halloween, of her own choosing, and I am surprised she loves it so much. I dislike the new companion as of now, but that is a whole different conversation.

Still not a Game of Thrones watcher. I have heard it is good, but just not my style. I like slightly cheesy scifi like Warehouse 13 or Firefly.

I am on mobile, so my formatting stinks, FYI.

coati456 - I have been told prenatal yoga is good, but if you're brand new to it to do a few lessons with an instructor first so you know exactly how to transition in poses without loose hips getting wonky.

To the mama's feeling down...it's normal. I felt that way up until I first held my younger DD and thank oxytocin, it all changed. I won't say I never feel overwhelmed, but you'll handle it better than you think. Much love and support to each of you!

AFM, I sent in my grad school application this week. I am a bit nervous, but I think it might open some doors for part time work when I am done, moreso than doing private practice lactstion work. Until lactation consultants get state licensure, insurance reimbursement is going to be abysmal.

I am working on finding out some curriculum options for Kinder for when older DD starts. I feel pulled towards Five in a Row, but I like some other unit-type studies as well.
post #24 of 45
nettlesoup, I haven't seen the last season of Being Human yet. I was wondering how much it was going to change with all but one cast member being replaced... I tried watching the US version but just couldn't get into it.

Called the midwife this morning, the one I don't feel warm and fuzzy about, and she said she doesn't have much experience with scarlet fever and told me to go back to urgent care. My rash has worsened since Sunday and the PA wants me to try a different antibiotic, thinks I might be having an allergic reaction to amoxicillin in addition to the general rash, great. I'm waking up at night scratching and I want to scratch till I bleed. It's driving me nuts! I'm off to take another bath to get some temporary relief.
post #25 of 45

That rash sounds awful dakipode. I'm allergic to a couple of antibiotics (including penicillin). They give me hives, so I know how miserable that can be. I assume you are taking oatmeal baths? That's what I always had to do.

post #26 of 45
Yes, coati, oatmeal baths, oatmeal lotion, baking soda baths, regular lotion, zyrtec, claritin, benadryl... They all give me a little bit of temporary relief but night time is the worst since I start scratching without even realizing it. Drives DH nuts too because then he wakes up. The doc said I should see some relief by Friday with the new antibiotics. I sure hope so, otherwise I may end up going to the ER which I really don't want to do but since the midwife is reluctant to make a call on the use of cortizone etc. and the urgent care said it's the midwife's decision... I keep telling the little one to hang in there.
post #27 of 45
Dakipode; I hope you recover from it quickly, it does not sound at all nice!

Typically I remembered only this morning that it's my Dad's birthday today, so I'm completely disorganised! I make him a clootie dumpling every year for his birthday, so I've managed to get that on to boil, but it takes 3 hours boiling plus half an hour in the oven. Just as well I'm not going over until the afternoon. And since I forgot to buy a card, I'll get my daughter to make him one. Oh, and my older sister will have arrived from America, so I can't wait to see her!
I also managed my first morning without coco pops! I made a fruit smoothie as soon as I got up instead, and it's much better!
post #28 of 45

I hope you feel much better asap, Dakipode!  

post #29 of 45
dakipode: i hope you are feeling better today & the itching has begun to subside!
post #30 of 45
Thanks for the well wishes. I did end up going to the ER early this morning and the doc gave me a shot of antibiotics, right in the butt, like a little kid. That's supposed to work faster than the little pills over time so we'll see. Unfortunately they can't give me anything for itching other than the allergy medications (benadryl et al.) because other stuff is class C. I'll end up canceling more clients this week since the doc said stay home till Saturday so I don't infect anyone else. He suspected the amoxicillin didn't work for me at all since he retested me for strep A and it was still present. Can't wait for this to be over, I thought I was supposed to be glowing by now, not covered in red patches.
post #31 of 45
Dacipote that sounds so rough!!!!! I hope you find relief soon.
post #32 of 45

dakipode - sorry to hear you're still dealing with that, hope the shot kicks in soon and you heal quickly so you can get that lovely glow! I too am waiting for the glow!! But, all I seem to have are signs of pimples waiting to rear their ugly heads or other annoying blemishes/spots, etc... blah!  


It's cloudy and rainy here today and I'm not sure why but all I want to do is eat, eat, eat!eat.gif

post #33 of 45

i feel like i'm always behind on everyone's life here.. oh well. 


14wks 5d today. this week:


my divorce papers were finally all signed.

our property manager messed up the lease, which led to her sending us verbally abusive emails, to the effect of us having to move. so we're back on the house hunt. 

have not touched my taxes even remotely. not even thought of it other than thinking of not having done anything for it yet.

still haven't told anyone at work except my manager as i get bigger and actually start showing. i don't care about telling them and also i don't know how. there's never a good time and i don't want the attention or their reactions. i wish my manager spilled the beans already so i can be passive about it. 

another week to go till our second appointment with the midwife; so looking forward to that. but still weeks away from our first ultrasound.

baby name crisis, somewhat stuck.

planning our wedding, planning to plan a baby shower in june. wondering about my career and finances.

sad to not have much family in our lives, neither my family nor my fiancé's. i'm an only child and don't even know most of my relatives. i wanted something different for my own kid but alas, my parents aren't gonna come to the US, and my fiancé's family isn't around either. we'll have to do this ourselves - i wish we had more support though. 

i also feel pretty unprepared for all of it and am starting to think i might be naive about how much / little this is gonna change my life. i keep seeing us as these cool relaxed parents, doing everything we've done before, just with a kid in the middle. according to every newer parent we've talked to so far this is far, far away from any kind of truth. 


still haven't started working out; i did sign up for a yoga class, but it's right after work and i don't have a yoga mat. so i haven't gone yet.

post #34 of 45
vc2013 - Okay this is going to sound like the opposite of my post about working with a newborn, but really, I mean both of them smile.gif With DS, my DH and I did continue doing most of the things we did anyways. Most of our social circle was fine with a kiddo tagging along. We don't go to bars or clubs or anything, and babies are surprisingly portable! I breed horses to spend a lot of summertime at my veterinary university - I swear, my vets saw more of DS than they did their own kids! DH and I played D&D on the weekends, - DS came along, we brought a pack n play and he would fall asleep in that while we gamed. He travelled with us, went to malls, restaurants, visiting friends, to the movies, whatever. We just made sure that anything we were doing could be dropped or put on hold at a moment's notice if DS needed something. (that's where I think it gets hard to work with a baby - if you're on a conference call or on the phone with a client or coworker, and baby needs to eat or a diaper change, who do you put on hold? Of course that depends on your job, too)

A lot of people commented on how good DS was in the car, and how good he was when we were out and about. I still maintain that it was (and is) simply because we expected him to be and he adapted to his situation smile.gif

It wasn't until he got older and more active that it became harder to continue our regular adult pastimes. Now that he's walking and talking and has a mind of his own, we tailor our outtings to take in to consideration his wants and needs. Instead of meeting friends at Starbucks where there's nothing for DS to do, we go to a coffee shop or restaurant with a kids' play area. We don't go to evening movies because we don't want him disturbing everyone else - we plan to go to kids&parents showings instead. We still go out a lot and he comes with us everywhere, we just adjust some of our destinations.
post #35 of 45
Vc2013 I sooo feel your pains!! I hope in a month or so life settles down for you. That's what I'm banking on orngtongue.gif
post #36 of 45

vc--try to remember to breathe ?  So much intensity.  Stay strong, and take care of yourself.


I'm also in wedding planning mode, a bit.  I just need to pick a venue and a date at this point, but I'm going out and listening to bands and browsing wedding dresses as well.


I had the WORST nightmare last night.  My fiance turned into a hybrid man that was part him part my ex, and my ex parents-in-law also made an appearance and I dreamed i had the baby but the man-creature (that was sort of my current partner but much more like my ex, and with my ex's parents,)  took the baby away from me.  Like, for a day.  My breasts were getting so sore and swollen and I knew I needed to nurse that baby and i was trying to find my baby but my partner had vanished and the baby was nowhere to be seen and I just FLIPPED my shit out.


I woke myself up I was so hysterical, with actual sobbing, and I cried so hard I could hardly catch my breath, and I couldn't stop for like 15 minutes.  DF was awesome and tried so hard to comfort me and promised that nothing would ever happen to separate our child from its' mother.  I clearly have a lot of yucky feelings inside about my ex (we have been to court over custody of our kids so many times, in fact about to go again because I'm not satisfied with the current status quo, and it's just such an awful feeling to know that your kids' dad and their grandparents would love to get rid of you from the picture or at least minimize your role as much as possible.)   Yeah, so now I'm having nightmares where all these icky feelings about my ugly divorce are affecting me being excited and looking forward to a new child, because I don't feel secure and relaxed and confident that my full-time connection to the child will never be compromised.   My sweet fiance is doing everything he can to convince me that he would never want to come between the baby and I for a moment but my experiences have left me traumatized.


In positive news, I then got invited to try out for a band as their frontwoman.  They have a bunch of songs that need vocal tracks, so I listened to one and spent two hours writing the melody/lyrics, and I channelled all my negative feelings into angry lyrics and passionate vocals.  I actually feel so much better now that I got it out on 'paper.'  And even sang it out a dozen or two dozen times.  Awesome since I've been looking for therapy but the providers in my area who speak English charge a ton.  This whole songwriting-as-therapy could be way cheaper and more effective!  :)

post #37 of 45
Serafina your post really spoke to me. Having children with an ex is so emotionally challenging. My ex just moved back to the area after taking off with his GF to the other side of the USA for about 1.5 yrs. Now he is demanding that he have everything in our current custody agreement changed back to the way it was before he took off. Agghh I honestly wish he just stayed thousands of miles away! He wants me to forget that he just took off and it should be ok since he kept paying his child support while he was gone. He bairly called to talk to the kids. But in his mind it all should be forgotten because now he is back and "super daddy" has arrived. His attitude just makes me nauseous! The kids emotions should have more value to him and require deeper respect.
post #38 of 45
Originally Posted by MamaMash View Post

Yay coati someone else loves Doctor Who!! And has read the Game of Thrones books. Love it!

Huge TV/book nerd here too! Love Dr. Who and might even name this baby Amelia. Guess why? smile.gif

I also love Game of Thrones! Hard part for me though is that kind of violence while pregnant. My hormones are making me very sensitive and I've always been wary of gorey or violent TV anyhow so it's amplified when I'm in this state. But ugh the show is soooooooo good I might not keep away. The books were good but sort of boring and I've since moved on sad to say.

Serafina and letnia-- I'm really sorry to hear about your issues with exes. It's really unfair to have a father not step up. My sister is dealing with this and I'm having to back away from it all because I just can't bear the burden of her and her child needing me. But I want to help. It makes me feel so sad for her and my nephew that his dad is being such a loser-- to put it nicely. My DH may have problems, sure, we all do. But he's a MAN and a FATHER and would never hurt me or our children. He does his very best to protect us and I feel so lucky to have him!

So, my weekend is going great so far. I'm feeling so much better and able to eat more whole foods yay! I also am becoming happier about this pregnancy though I was anxiety ridden not even 2 weeks ago! DH got a second interview for a job nearer where we live so if we do move, it'll be close by. I absolutely adore this area we are in too though it's 45 minutes to any family. Lol maybe that's why I like it. We are pretty sure DH will land this job!

Here's a question for you ladies about housing. We are in Los Angeles and housing costs are outrageously high for what you get. I really just want to rent a HOUSE not an apt. with washer/dryer hook ups and maybe a yard. The rent prices for that are too high for a 2 bdrm, so we are thinking about a 1 bdrm. Would that be completely insane? I mean, DD is only 3 and we still cosleep! We'd save $$$ with lower rent and the hope is to move into a house we will be buying in the next few years. Would love your input here ladies!
Edited by tillymonster - 4/6/13 at 11:39pm
post #39 of 45
Originally Posted by letniaLynne View Post

Serafina your post really spoke to me. Having children with an ex is so emotionally challenging. My ex just moved back to the area after taking off with his GF to the other side of the USA for about 1.5 yrs. Now he is demanding that he have everything in our current custody agreement changed back to the way it was before he took off. Agghh I honestly wish he just stayed thousands of miles away! He wants me to forget that he just took off and it should be ok since he kept paying his child support while he was gone. He bairly called to talk to the kids. But in his mind it all should be forgotten because now he is back and "super daddy" has arrived. His attitude just makes me nauseous! The kids emotions should have more value to him and require deeper respect.

I have the opposite problem.  My ex wants my kids to see me as little as possible, but of course when he has them he dumps them at his parents who live a mile away.  Oh well, I don't want to hijack the thread with my complicated history, but the point is the stress regarding being at war with my ex for Years over my school aged children is obviously blocking my ability to feel as excited about having a new baby as I could.  Or even as relaxed and safe about having a new baby.  Sigh.


But man getting it all out in songwriting was really useful!  I'll try to write another song today!

post #40 of 45
Oh, Serafina, hug.gif.
Ex relationships can be so stressful. I am in law sch, and working at a legal clinic, and holy cats, even in my limited experience, I have seen some crazy sh*t. People can be such immature idiots when they are supposed to be acting in the best interest of their kids. Ugh.

I'm really glad you have your writing and performing as an outlet.
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