I wish I felt round and beautiful, all I feel is fat.
Right before I fell pregnant, I had lost about 45 lbs. I felt great! I hadn't weighed that low in 21 years. My energy was higher, my body felt much more comfortable and other than sagging skin, I felt a lot more attractive. At 5'1" it made a huge difference.
At my first MW appt. in December I weighed 204, then in Feb. I weighed 193. Last month I had gone back up to 198. I try to eat normally and choose healthy things, and I realize that I still have an overall loss. I am really trying not to obsess, but now that I don't have a scale at home I am worried that I am just continuing to gain. Some of it is the sensation of later pregnancy with belly in the way and general fatigue and windedness, but some is seeing my face start to fill out again. I really don't want to gain. I want to maintain. At my height and weight there is really no reason to gain anything.
I feel so uncomfortable, and it only makes me feel fat because it feels just like last year before I lost any weight.
And it doesn't help when my dd pats my belly and says, "Mama, you don't look any different than you ever did."