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Pregnant mama of 17 month old needs nursing advice

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

I'm pregnant, in the first trimester, with my second, and am having lots of trouble with nursing my 17 month old.  I'm at my wits end, and I'm not sure what to do.

 

Nursing has become such a chore, and it seems like it's all my son wants to do, constantly.  I'm so sore, so it hurts like heck when he nurses, but is worse at the very beginning, when he first latches on.  The problem is, DS nurses for a minute or two, then unlatches, then a minute later wants to latch back on.  It goes on and on like this all day long.  I can't be around him without him sticking his hands in my shirt and crying to nurse.  

 

The real problem is that I'm not the only one who isn't enjoying this anymore.  DS cries throughout his nursing sessions.  I don't know if my milk tastes different because I'm pregnant, or if my supply is diminishing.  Maybe he's picking up on the fact that I'm miserable.  Whatever it is, he nurses for a minute, cries, nurses, cries, and gets ever more frustrated.  It's been going on for weeks, but is getting rapidly worse.  DS just doesn't seem to be able to be happy when he's around me.  He's either crying because I'm not nursing him, or crying while nursing.  DH reports that when I'm not around, DS doesn't behave like this at all.  

 

I don't want to just end the nursing relationship, but attempts at cutting down have utterly failed.  And we're both just so miserable right now, I don't see the point in continuing to nurse.  I'm just really afraid he'll be traumatized if I just cut him off at this point.

 

Any mamas out there BDTD and have some advice?

post #2 of 6
Big hugs mama. My DD adjusted more easily after some initial upset. My one suggestion is to go out. Outside if weather permits but going to the library, a friend/relative's house or even to the mall or grocery store was interesting enough that DD wasn't focused on nursing. Does it help when you're in unfamiliar places? That's my one suggestion that helped our transition. Otherwise all I have to offer is sympathy and support hug.gif

ETA: I also let her watch waaaaay too much sesame street during the first trimester when I felt terrible so I know that a walk to the park can be a lofty goal.
post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post

Big hugs mama. My DD adjusted more easily after some initial upset. My one suggestion is to go out. Outside if weather permits but going to the library, a friend/relative's house or even to the mall or grocery store was interesting enough that DD wasn't focused on nursing. Does it help when you're in unfamiliar places? That's my one suggestion that helped our transition. Otherwise all I have to offer is sympathy and support hug.gif

ETA: I also let her watch waaaaay too much sesame street during the first trimester when I felt terrible so I know that a walk to the park can be a lofty goal.

 

Thanks.  Going somewhere new actually really does help, but only for about 15 minutes.  So most of the time it doesn't seem worth the effort to get out.  I'm generally very happy that DS has shown no interest in television, but I would so love to be able to put him in front of an episode of television for the respite.  

 

Hugs and sympathy are much appreciated.  I know we'll get through this just fine, but with the exhaustion and pregnancy hormones, I just wanna cry.

post #4 of 6

I am pregnant and am nursing my three year old. In the last trimester she has really wanted to nurse more and more, and I am finding that I need to set limits. I now have the limits that she can nurse after breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner. I purposefully want her to have eaten first so that it is not about hunger when she nurses.  If she asks to nurse at another time, I remind her of the times she can nurse, and I say that we can cuddle now instead. Sometimes she will cuddle, but other times I need to switch activities completely. 

 

good luck =)

post #5 of 6

I'm currently pregnant (2nd trimester) and nursing my 18 month old son. I also nursed my daughter through my son's pregnancy. I think I had a relatively easy time of it compared to most, but I do get itchy and irritable when nursing at times, which can really sabotage the nursing relationship.

 

The best advice I can offer from my experiences is to keep trying new tactics, find something that works, and (most importantly) don't feel guilty about it. Sometimes I need to set limits for myself so I don't completely lose it emotionally. With my daughter, I played a little game where I would count to 15 and give her a kiss for each number, and then we were done nursing that time. Sometimes she was upset about it, but for the most part it made the limit a little more playful. For my son, even though he's only 18 months, it sometimes helps to explain that there isn't any milk left right now, that Mama needs more time, and water, and food and sleep to make more. We'll nurse later. Again, sometimes he's upset, but you can tell he understands the explanation.

 

Best of luck to you! I know a number of moms who have had a lot of pain, especially in the first trimester, and have gently weaned as a result. If this is you, don't feel guilty about your decision. You have to do what is best for you and your son, and that looks differently for different people.

post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 

Thanks everyone.  It's starting to get a little bit better.  It doesn't hurt quite as much anymore, and he's slowly moving back to a more normal nursing schedule.  I'm not sure I can keep this up until baby is born, but now it's at least possible.

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