my daughter turns three in June. she has always been super spirited, and has been physically aggressive towards other kids and her parents since about 18 months (or maybe earlier - don't remember).
as she gets bigger and stronger, i'm having trouble figuring out how to best help/contain her when she lashes out at me and DH. she is in a particularly tough phase of hitting, scratching, pinching, biting and kicking DH and i currently.
our current strategy is to hold her hands firmly and tell her calmly that we won't let her hurt us, and ask her when she feels ready to stop. when she says she's ready to stop, we release her hands.
but the bigger and smarter she gets, the harder this is to implement anywhere near gently. today i spent at least 1/2 an hour going through this routine. she chases after me (so i can't just turn away or go into another room). she hits me, and when i hold her hands down she then starts scratching my hands, kicking, and eventually biting. i end up having to hold her more firmly than i'd like and in some contorted maneuvers to avoid her hurting me in some shape or form.
other things we have tried in the past that do *not* work at all for her are distraction (of any kind), time out, distancing ourselves from her, and offering more affection/touch/connection.
* i cross posted this in the Toddler forum *