or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting - April, May & June 2013!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting - April, May & June 2013! - Page 13

post #241 of 601
sotohana - If you scroll back in this thread to posts 77-82, onemommyonemama and I had a conversation about the pain I was having while peeing, which we think was linked to the organs shifting and my tipped uterus. There was some great advice she gave me in there about trying to pee on all fours, sometimes in a bathtub/shower with warm water on your back. Not sure if this will help your friend but it sounds like anything is worth a try at this point! How awful...

Do any of our newborn multiples mamas who may be supplementing with formula want some samples and coupons for enfamil? A coworker gave them to me today but even if BFing doesn't work out for me, these will expire before I would use them. PM me if you want them and I can mail them to you.
post #242 of 601

Soto - Hopefully the tips here will work for her, but if not, I think she definitely needs to see a different doctor. Not drinking water and getting dehydrated is not good for the baby or her.

post #243 of 601
Thank you all so much for the ideas! I'll pass them along right away.
post #244 of 601

Hey granite - I am on ravelry :) same username if you want to look me up, I would love to share knitting pages and see some other baby projects to get inspired!

post #245 of 601

Again, thank you all so much for those ideas for my friend. She’s doing a lot better today- was able to go to the coast for a mini getaway with her wife even. I’m not sure what ended up working, but I’m going to see her tomorrow, so I’ll ask her then.


Bigfoot- Sounds like that ended up being the best choice for you and your family not to take the cookbook contract. I can’t say enough about being able to say “no” and step back when the time just isn’t right. It’s very liberating and I’m happy to hear that you were able to do that! How are the housework projects going?


Granite- thank you for saying that about my blog. I haven’t been writing lately because I’ve just not felt up for it, but I think I might start again in the next couple of weeks. After I quit my job, I just needed to take some time to not do anything at all. Know what I mean?

That’s great that you’ll be able to not have to deal with too tight clothes for much longer! I am not showing yet, but have been soooo bloated since the beginning, so I know how uncomfy tight clothes can be. Btw, I’m just over the river from Portland, so if you wanna get some tea or something, let me know!


Planet- so many congrats on the adoption finalization! What a big relief. Also, it sounds like Wylie is at a really adorable stage! I’m so happy for your family!


Poiyt- Welcome! I’m glad you found our corner of the internet and I hope you enjoy your time here!


Cocobird- That fall sounds like it was really scary! I’m really glad you are okay. As for why you may have fallen, I have no idea, but what the others have said about your center of gravity shifting makes logical sense to me. Phew. I’m just glad you and baby are okay!

Also, thank you so much for your offer to chat with me when I try to go off the meds. That’s gonna be really helpful and I’ll definitely message you. Thanks!


AFU- DW took a spill the other day too. She was at a work event riding a horse and was just done with the ride and getting off when the horse spooked and she fell- first on her butt, then back, then head. When she called me she was in the hot tub at the hotel. I, of course, got really freaked out and made her drive to the ER with me on the phone. They checked her out and everything was okay, but they did end up giving her a shot for the inflammation and sent her home with some really strong meds. She took Monday & Tuesday off, but has gone in yesterday and today. I think she needs to take some more time off, but she’s very stubborn…

In good news, she had a video interview today for a pretty rad position down at Toyota Headquarters in Torrance. If she gets it, we’d be moving there really soon. The great part is that she would only have to travel 15% versus the 85-90% she travels now. Wish us luck!

post #246 of 601
Sotohana, good luck!

Our baby is now a kid. He took his first steps Tuesday and now he's one.

Funny face, showing off his new toy.


post #247 of 601

Sooo cute, seraf, I love the funny face! :)

post #248 of 601
They grow up so fast, Seraf. Very cute kids!
post #249 of 601

Seraf ADORABLE!!!  Sorry for mostly lurking...I've found it challenging to keep up, but I've been following long Essennbee, TWINS!  Congratulations!  And, Sotohana--if your friend has any further issues she should probably go to to her actual doctor, not the ER.  ER doc's are pretty much going to blow off anyone who they don't think is in serious trouble--they are crisis intervention folk, and tend to be pretty unresponsive if they think folk are using them for things that are more appropriate to a primary care physician.  Planet, congrat's on Wylie's "officialization" as it were...it's such a weird thing to have to adopt our own kids (we are in the midst of the process for our first and second kiddos).  


Sorry for anyone I've missed (Poiyt, welcome)...


AFM--we will be 39 weeks on Tuesday and DW and I are more than ready for the baby to come (anytime now kid).  She's super uncomfortable and is having really bad back pain...as she says, "I'm ready for you to carry him sometimes!".  We've thought things might be kicking up a couple of times...but my wife is a human barometer and gets tons of braxton hix (I can never spell that) every time the weather shifts (which has been frequently).  I just agreed to a new part time gig that starts in mid-July and my current gig ends when the baby comes (another reason that I'm ready for the baby to come...I'm feeling done with the current project).  My work commitments tend to be about a day and a half a week of work along with covering emergencies (for which there is back-up in case I am unavailable) and they are nice supplement to our family budget and keep me on the radar professionally, as it were.  

post #250 of 601

Congrats and welcome, poiyt!


soto, eep! The fall sounds unnerving. Glad to hear everyone is ok though. The new job sounds ideal - fingers crossed that she gets it :)


seraf, happy birthday to Soren - love the photos!


wishin, how the heck did you get to 39 weeks already?! Hopefully not too much longer now...Is anyone predicting an early or late arrival? My doula, myself and even one of my midwives predicted an early or on EDD for DD...we were all right with DD being born at 39 1/2 weeks :)


Afm: I did my final presentation for the training I mentioned I was taking (part of the Japan trip). It wasn't very good and I felt really bad after. I'll get my certification as the presentation is only a small part of it but I've been beating myself up since yesterday afternoon. I need some time off all the stuff I have going on. It's (mostly) all exciting stuff but it's a lot. Oh, we had our first open house last week and have 4 scheduled second showings which is awesome. First one was last night. I've also started getting a weird heaviness/bruised feeling in my vulva/pubic area. It's not that painful but is uncomfy. I had it later on with DD but this seems early. I hate complaining about a pregnancy I wanted so badly.....and I've been lucky so far it's been an "easy" one. Anyway, my final exam is this morning - not feeling ready for it.........


This update is brought to you by Miss. Whiny-Pants.

post #251 of 601
Seraf--I just wanted to let you know that we have been (for the most part) cosleeping with the triplets. It is SO possible even in a full size bed!!
post #252 of 601
Carmen, I'm sorry you feel like you have too much going on. Hopefully the dust will begin to settle soon.

Lise, awesome. I'm thinking in a few months you will need more space, but I'm glad it's working for you now. How is nursing going for both of you? Did your DP ever get milk in? Did you? Can any of the boys latch?
post #253 of 601
Wow, lisadea! Do they sleep above your head like in serafs diagram? : ) that is so awesome!

Thanks for all the congrats, folks!

Carmen, sorry to hear you didn't feel good about your presentation. I hate that feeling! Also, hope you get more comfortable soon.
post #254 of 601
Bigfoot: Your baby projects sound like fun. Good luck with the crocheting! I'm glad that your new OB practice is so much better. It's exciting that you might get to work with midwives!

Coco: I'm sorry about your fall. Are you feeling better now? Thanks for the clothes suggestions!

Poiyt: I totally want to use your herbal knowledge, but I'm not sure what I need herbs for right now! Any favorite herbs for general health? In what subject will you be getting your masters?

Planet: Congratulations on completing the adoption! We were relieved too when we got that done.

Granite: It's nice that you'll be returning to school for 10 weeks soon. Doing that during pregnancy sounds like perfect timing! Housekeeping: Three of the people listed in recovering from losses (Carmen, Baby.fatty, and Alphahen) are actually pregnant!

Alphahen: Are you reading along here? I don't know how much you are on MDC these days.

Sotohana: I'm sorry about your wife's fall. I have my fingers crossed that she gets the new position!

Seraf: Look at that (those!) adorable one year olds. I still can't believe that little baby Soren is a whole year old.

Wishin: 39 weeks! Wow! I hope that the baby comes soon!

Carmen: It sounds like a hard time right now. I hope the weekend is rejuvenating!

Lisedea: That's some seriously impressive cosleeping! How are things going in general?

AFM: We had our first midwife appointment yesterday, and it went well. The kid's heartbeat was strong and easy to find, so that was a relief. The midwife did a nice job including our son in the exam and we had a good talk about our fears and about risk in general. My wife and I are both still feeling a little bit nervous about trying again for a homebirth, but overall we're fairly glad to be working with these midwives again. One slightly surprising decision is that I think we're going to do the MaternT21 test tomorrow. We don't have any risk factors, but I spent a good portion of our son's pregnancy worrying about his health, and my wife feels like we should just get the additional information since it isn't invasive for the kid and hopefully it will be reassuring. I feel nervous about it, though, especially since we haven't agreed on what we would do if it did show an issue. I think some of you have done genetic testing or screening, right? How did it go? Were you glad you did it?
post #255 of 601

escher - I completely respect that genetic screening can be very nerve-wracking, and for some people that truly does outweigh the benefits. Everyone also has to make the best decision for themselves and their family. My niece has a condition similar to Down's, and in talking with her mom about how they found out and the impact it had on the birth experience, I am now in general very pro-screening. My SIL & BIL did not have any risk factors, and I don't know that my niece's condition would be caught on any of the tests that are available now, but I speak in terms of the general benefits of screening, and how I think my family's experience could have been improved by screening. When my niece was born a doctor very familiar with this condition just happened to be working in the hospital and noticed a trait in my niece's profile that is often an indicator, but not something that an untrained eye would likely pick up on. The doc suggested screening and I think it definitely had a negative effect on the birth experience. Rather than just getting to snuggle their new baby there was an element of worry immediately introduced into the moment. Also, as soon as they got home, in addition to getting accustomed to life with their first newborn, they were also swimming through the available resources to help their daughter. My niece is amazing and her disability is loved by us all as part of her wonderful uniqueness. However, I do think that if my SIL & BIL had been aware of her condition before birth, then A) they could have done the mental and emotional preparation ahead of time without it affecting the birth experience quite so much and B) they could have been researching these resources for their child in advance as well, rather than doing it all in those first few weeks after coming home from the hospital. All of my niece's doctors credit her early interventions (physical therapy from day one and speech therapy pretty early as well, probably other things I'm not as aware of) with just how well she is doing compared to the average for kids with her condition. Without that doctor present (or in a hypothetical situation without genetic screening) there would have been less of an opportunity to get that intervention so early. 

post #256 of 601
Escher, if it will ease your mind, that would be a good thing. It's not a test with a high rate of false positives, is it? And you would know if it is a boy or girl, right?
post #257 of 601
Sphinxy: Thanks for sharing your niece's experience. I agree that prenatal genetic testing can be useful, but it still makes me nervous. What testing or screening did you do?

Seraf: We wouldn't find out the sex. The results would be sent to our midwives and they wouldn't tell us. It seems to have a low rate of false positives (much lower than the nuchal translucency scan), but it is a new test, so they don't have endless data about it. Ugh. I don't know. I have very mixed feelings about it.
post #258 of 601

Escher - So far we have had the Nuchal Scan (neck fold measurements via u/s plus a blood sample) for Down's and it came back negative. We also had a blood test a couple weeks ago (can't remember what it was called) that checks for Spina Bifida, and that also came up negative. During Week 20 we will have a day of appointments - it starts with our anatomy scan at the hospital in the morning and then we move over to our ob/midwife office in the afternoon to discuss it. At that time we are scheduled to talk about other test options based on what we see and what my insurance will/won't cover. 

post #259 of 601

escher, we did the maternT21 test instead of the week 12 (nuchal scan) blood work. it was difficult to navigate what was best for us, but the nuchal blood work usually comes back elevated for twins and i didnt want to deal with the stress of that. the materniT21 test looks at the actual DNA in the mother's blood, so it has a higher accuracy rate (so far). it is REALLY new, but the data i saw was convincing enough for me to be comfortable with it. 


our doctor was kind of a d--- about the m21 test, like asking why we were so insistent about getting this test and why were we so concerned about genetic problems when i am so low-risk. she made me feel like a bad person for wanting to know! if there is something i can know and prepare for before the birth, i want to be prepared. if there is something we can do to be more "ready" for a baby with special needs, i want to do it. period. 


of course, the reassurance that there were not problems with the chromosomes was priceless information. we did find out the sex of at least one baby from the m21 test, which was pretty cool for me. i cried. 

post #260 of 601

escher, i know your question was posed to Poiyt, but I thought I'd share that my very favorite herb for general health is Nettles. They are so super nourishing. When I remember to drink nettles infusions regularly, I have more energy, don't ever get sick, and feel more healthy in every way. You should read about them. Susun Weed wrote a lot about nettles in her book Wise Woman Herbal books "Healing Wise" and "For the Childbearing Year".

Feeling better from the fall--the midwife pointed out that I probably landed weird because I subconsciously was avoiding landing on my belly, so that would be why I twisted a muscle in my abdomen.


Having SUPER bad pain in my ribs on the right side. Along with pain in my mid-upper back on the right side. The midwife suggested I try a chiropractor or massage--there is a place that specializes in pregnancy. Not sure if my insurance covers it, but with how BAD this is, I'm going to look into it for sure! It is super distracting, even brought me near tears at times. She said a rib may be a little displaced d/t the little one. That is near where her feet often are. Otherwise I've tried some stretches, some prenatal yoga off of youtube, occasional tylenol, heat packs, but nothing brings very much relief. And my darling wife does give me back massages often. All of that just is very temporary relief though. Any suggestions?


Also, maybe we should start a queer maternity fashion thread, haha. I don't know about y'all, but when I got pregnant I was nervous that there would be nothing non-gender-conforming to wear! I looked around online and couldn't find anything helpful.


About the tests--I declined any genetic testing, partly due to my wife's previous experience with our oldest daughter. She tested a risk for down syndrome and then had all this worry and waiting and finally did a more invasive test that showed that she did not have downs, afterall. I have worked with many people who have downs and spina bifida and many of the conditions they test for, so I felt that if any of those turned out to be an issue, I would at least be more prepared than a lot of folk. The stress of the tests, and the potential invasiveness of further testing, were what made me decide not to have any of it.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Queer Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Queer Parenting › Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting - April, May & June 2013!