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Queer, Pregnant, & Parenting - April, May & June 2013! - Page 16

post #301 of 601

Wow.  I am out of the loop!

 

Congrats to spashing ... that was one heck of a precipitous labour!  If you have another, you'll need to be prepared to have that baby just about anywhere! 

 

Congrats to Knitting too!  How are you settling in?  How is O adjusting?

 

As for everyone else who I have missed ... hello! 

 

QOTD:

I get mother's day and DP gets 'fathers' day (Esmé calls is Babas Day, and DP likes to refer to it as Alternative Parent Celebration Day).  

post #302 of 601

starling - May I ask your DP's gender identity?

 

I find it so interesting to hear everyone's different responses to the QOTD. Neither DW nor I grew up with large family celebrations around Mother's day or Father's day, but we did have small traditions of doing something to make the applicable parent feel special - cooking their favorite meal, alleviating them of routine chore, etc. DW wants us each to have our own "days" when we become parents, and has volunteered to take Father's day as her day (and rename it somehow), mostly because she loves sports and Father's day coincides with the annual US Open for professional golf. She identifies as a woman and I don't like it when people assume that because I cook and she mows the lawn that somehow she is the "guy" in the relationship and I'm the "girl". I like Ellen DeGeneres's quote of "asking which person in a lesbian relationship is the 'guy' is like asking which chopstick is the 'fork'." I'm feeling a little guilty about DW getting "stuck" with Father's day and a little worried that it will further promote people viewing her with this stereotype. I'm just wondering if anyone else has BTDT and can provide some advice.

post #303 of 601

Sphinxy ... DP is genderqueer, and is uber butch.  I'm femme.  I think we could've picked any day to celebrate her as a parent, but she's pretty darn close to being our children's dad, so father's day seemed like a good fit.  You could also have one of you do the UK or Mexican or wherever-you-connect-with Mother's Day?  Or you could alternate years?  Or you could have mother's weekend ... and one of you have Saturday and one of you have Sunday.  Most of the school-going kids of two moms I know celebrate both on the same day, being that they make crafts/cards at school for their moms.  

post #304 of 601

sphinxy, that is an interesting thought. my dw is butch & i'm femme, but she does 99% of the cooking (we would literally starve if it was my job) and i mow the lawn and do garden chores. maybe father's day should be MY day! (that would confuse people...) Ellen's chopstick quote makes me smile, too. 

post #305 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post
I am also looking foward to sleeping in the King sized bed.

 

Oh, a king sized bed. How I miss ours!! Ours is still at our townhouse (on the market for a week btw...one offer but they pulled out) so we're still in a queen sized bed and I'm hating it. DD is a bit of a kicker and with my rapidly expanding uterus and achy hips and crampy legs I'm not happy most nights. I think we may have to move our bed over here early if our place doesn't sell in the next few weeks.

 

Speaking of fitting in the bed...has anyone ever side-carred a co-sleeper or crib to an Ikea malm frame? I'm worried about not having enough room for all 4 of us even in a king sized bed....I'm hoping once DD's bed is moved over she'll be back in her own bed but we're not counting on it.

post #306 of 601

Splashing--Congratulations!!!! That sounds amazing. I am interested in the hypnobabies techniques...are there any free resources about that? I thought I had a book about it but haven't been able to find it. They have a class here in Eugene but it is way out of my price range.

 

QOTD--We celebrate Mother's Day together. Same day. Our girls do something for both of us, and we each help them to make sure they have something planned for the other. All we do for Father's Day is for their grandpapa. We'll usually go out to eat with him and their grandma, and give him cards. Sometimes our younger daughter does a father's day project at school, and she will usually give it to one of us...her teachers know she doesn't have a dad in her life, and she probably isn't the only one, so they always say you can make the project for any adult you appreciate in your life. As far as Mother's Day crafts at school, she usually is able to make one for each of us. If not, she makes up for it with a craft at home.

 

AFM--I found out the policy about the strep b test at our birthing center, and I am not so worried about it anymore. I still hope to test negative bc I don't want IV antibiotics, but whatever happens, happens. If I did test positive, I would still give birth at the birthing center. They would give me a dose of IV antibiotics, but I wouldn't be hooked up to it for long. Instead of staying only 4 hours after birth, we would stay 12 hours. I can handle all of that. They are also super flexible about the Vit K shot and antibiotic eye drops they offer--not pushy at all. I feel relieved having all these questions answered! Now we need to pick a pediatrician. Our midwife shook her finger at us for not having one yet! We are also doing a birthing class, which has been pretty cool. We are the only queer couple, which is mostly fine and everyone is nice, but it was a little awkward for my wife when she and the dads all had to sit together and talk separately. She outshined them all, though, I told her the other moms in the class must've been envious!! :)

post #307 of 601
Hi Everyone,

Splashing: Congratulations! What a fast labor!

MrsandMrs: I'm so glad that the second trimester is so fantastic for you! A dozen more babies would take a long time if you only do two at a time. Might you consider quintuplets to speed up the process? orngtongue.gif Hooray for free bees!

Pokey: It sounds like you had a very productive weekend. I remember at the end of the pregnancy with our son thinking about how crazy it was that my life was about to totally change and I had no idea what it would be like. The great thing is that (at least in my experience) your life is going to change a lot, but almost all in ways that make it more wonderful and delightful, and that you'll still be able to hold onto the pieces of your life now that are important to you.

Easttowest: Your baby shower sounds great. Did everyone bring books?

QOTD: We both strongly identify as mothers, so we both celebrate on Mothers' Day. But we don't really do a whole lot to celebrate since neither of us care much about the day. We send cards to grandmothers for Mothers' Day and to grandfathers for Fathers' Day.

Wishin: I hope your little one arrives soon!

Sotohana: I'm sorry that your family isn't including your wife as much as they should. I hope that soon they are more able to realize that you are both going to be moms. Family dynamics can be so hard sometimes.

Outdoorsy: What kind of birth classes are you doing?

Carmen: WOW on more or less third trimester!

AFM: We did the blood draw for the materniT21 test today, so we should have those results in a few weeks. fingersx.gif It's amazing to me that we're just a few weeks away from the second trimester.
post #308 of 601

Carmen ... With one of the properties that we've sold we staged a bed with a air mattress, nicely dressed to look like a comfy queen sized bed.  You could get the mattress over to your new place and then use an air mattress and the linens to dress the bed at your old place.  Good luck!  

 

ps.  Do you have a sell charm in your old place?  If not, excuse the woo-woo factor and DO IT.  Write out the price you want, in an appreciation statement for your old place.  As in:  "We have been so happy here in the home where S was born, and now it is time to bring joy to our new family home.  We are so grateful that our condo sold for $___________, and in such a short time."  And then tuck it somewhere central.  

post #309 of 601

No baby yet, just a wife who puked a good chunk of the night.  We'll be walking soon...

post #310 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post

Carmen ... With one of the properties that we've sold we staged a bed with a air mattress, nicely dressed to look like a comfy queen sized bed.  You could get the mattress over to your new place and then use an air mattress and the linens to dress the bed at your old place.  Good luck!  

 

ps.  Do you have a sell charm in your old place?  If not, excuse the woo-woo factor and DO IT.  Write out the price you want, in an appreciation statement for your old place.  As in:  "We have been so happy here in the home where S was born, and now it is time to bring joy to our new family home.  We are so grateful that our condo sold for $___________, and in such a short time."  And then tuck it somewhere central.  

 

That's not a bad idea...if it takes too long we may do that. However, it's a latex mattress and HEAVY so we'll likely have to rent a van.

 

I'm going over to put a "charm" today :) What a wonderful idea. We do have our listing printed out and laid beside our butsudan but it's in our new house. We've had several 2nd private showings so I'm hoping it won't take too long!

 

I'm off for my 2 (or is it 3) hour GD test this morning...I'm already starving! Wish me luck!

post #311 of 601

Good luck, Carmen!

 

wishin'-I'm sorry your wife is feeling pukey and crappy.  I hope things get moving soon.  goodvibes.gif

post #312 of 601
Wishin: It sounds like things are getting close to really happening. Good luck convincing the baby that it is time to come out!

Carmen: Good luck with the GD test! fingersx.gif
post #313 of 601

Hey guys - our fam entered this contest if you have time to 'like' it :) I don't know if it matters to how they choose, but appreciate you checking it out anyways. It is a rare family pic where everyone is looking at the camera :) http://www.mothering.com/community/t/1382508/let-mothering-and-boba-pamper-you-this-mothers-day/20

 

(we are #36 a bit down the page)

post #314 of 601

Coco:  We did the home study course for hypnobabies that can be purchased off their website.  If you enter the coupon code hypnomp3 it will give you 50% off the price listed, which might make it a bit more reasonably priced.  Still, I know its expensive.  My first labour was 25 hours, and I think I screamed through the last 8 hours or so, and I was in A LOT of pain for the last 15 hours. This second time, I knew that I really needed some more techniques. 

 

Our littlest one is now 8 days old. It is such an amazing time!  We have finally figured out breast-feeding again. It was so painful the second time around, which completely surprised me, since I am still breast-feeding our 3-year old.  I am loving how much more relaxed I am this time, especially around sleep. I was so anxious that I barely slept after my first daughter's birth. I was always checking to make sure she was still breathing.  

post #315 of 601

Splashing ... Any chance of a tongue-tie?  

Wishin ... Puking was the precursor to labour both time!  Sending most excellent birth vibes your way!  xoxoxo dust.gif

 

Shameless self-promotion:

Our family is in the contest too, if anyone cares to go over and like our post too, along with onemommy's.  One can always use another carrier!

We're #41, I think. 

 

Carmen ... Oh!  A latex mattress ... where did you get it?  Our crappy IKEA king is just not holding up.  It sags in all the wrong places (kind of like my boobs and belly post-babies) and the slats keep falling out, resulting in a cavernous droop towards the floor.  

post #316 of 601
Splashing, is nursing going well now? I also had the experience of my second (and third and fourth!) having a harder time nursing.

Omom and Starling, I voted.
post #317 of 601

No baby yet...DW still having relatively uncomfortable surges (aka contractions) every 10-12 minutes...

post #318 of 601

Oh my goodness, wishin', hope that baby comes soon and that the birth goes smoothly! It will all be worth it once the babe is here nod.gif

post #319 of 601
Quote:
Originally Posted by starling&diesel View Post

Carmen ... Oh!  A latex mattress ... where did you get it?  Our crappy IKEA king is just not holding up.  It sags in all the wrong places (kind of like my boobs and belly post-babies) and the slats keep falling out, resulting in a cavernous droop towards the floor.  

 

Hmmm ours is from Ikea too - the natural one, I think they have several kinds maybe? It was about 1200.00 I think. It's awesome and we've never had a problem with sagging or slats falling out. Maybe they changed the design?

post #320 of 601

Thanks, SplashingPuddle. Unfortunately 70$ is still out of my price range at the moment :/ We have a dog that needs surgery and also found out we have to move! Looking for a new home when the baby is due in ONE month is very stressful. Oy. I did download the two free mp3s, but so far the first one seems to just be convincing me that I should do hypnobirthing. Maybe the second one will be helpful.
 

Please wish us luck finding a new home!!! I have been trying to remain calm and centered and grounded throughout all this, but not knowing where we are going to live or when exactly we are going to move, not knowing where we'll be when baby Amadora is coming, well, it feels unstable sometimes and I struggle with feelings of anxiety and panic and sadness about it.

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