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April 2013 Chit Chat - Page 31

post #601 of 734
Thread Starter 
Wow. I don't even know what to say. But I am really disappointed right now :/
post #602 of 734
So much happened in the few hours I was out??? Oh dear... Oh dear *sigh*
post #603 of 734
Stupid double posts
post #604 of 734
Honest question: how is me talking about gaps on another forum any different from you, joanie, bringing stories about so-and-so's birth choices here to discuss and analyze? How is it ok for abra to call me names and insult my character? So it's "harmless" if i say it in person or on the phone but not on the internet? I'n just trying to find the line between acceptable and unacceptable gossip, here. Is it because I am a dissenting opinion and you can tag me as the enemy? So as long as we're just bashing ppl for their "unnatural" birth choices it is okay? It is acceptable to peg me as a person of questionable character and call me a "smuck " [sic]?

Edited to fix typos. Phone posting.
post #605 of 734
Double post
post #606 of 734

Hmm. No where did I say that J was mocking Christina for depression, just that she was mocking. Mocking the GAPS diet doesn't necessitate including people's real life issues in the discussion. That means they're subsequently being mocked in the process if you *clearly make fun of them in the context*. She mocked something Abra and Christina strongly believe in, which is better health by way of dietary measures. J and others strongly believe in vegetarianism/veganism. We don't mock that. This situation was full-on mocking. I'm just surprised, is all. It wreaks of superiority to me. Nobody here is superior to anyone else.

 

I'm merely stating observations here. I'm coming from a neutral place. I have no bad feelings towards anyone.

 

I do have to add one thing in response to this comment J made:

 

"If you can't see why thinking that eating a certain diet will heal mental illness is eyeroll worthy, I don't know what to say."

 

That is eyeroll worthy to me (especially since I don't need a medical journal to tell me that my body and mental state have real reactions to certain foods), but I don't sit here thinking you're wrong and I should make fun of it publicly. Catch my drift?

post #607 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

Honest question: how is me talking about gaps on another forum any different from you, joanie, bringing stories about so-and-so's birth choices here to discuss and analyze? How is it ok for abra to call me names and insult my character? So it's "harmless" if i say it in person or on the phone but not on the internet? I'n just trying to find the line between acceptable and unacceptable gossip, here. Is it because I am a dissenting opinion and you can tag me as the enemy? So as long as we're just bashing ppl for their "unnatural" birth choices it is okay? It is acceptable to peg me as a person of questionable character and call me a "smuck " [sic]?

Edited to fix typos. Phone posting.

 

J, there are clear differences. I can't believe I'd even have to point them out. I haven't made fun of anyone, and I never said it's okay for anyone to call anyone names or insult their character. The way you've been saying things has not come across as helpful or concerned. It has come across as condescending. I'm not sure why you even brought up the birth choices thing. That was a discussion about the medical birthing system and its issues and clearly not me mocking my sister's friend for getting a c-section in a few days. That would be cruel to do. I'm not like that.

 

Also, when did I tag you as an enemy? I'm so confused right now. lol

post #608 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

 

J, there are clear differences. I can't believe I'd even have to point them out. I haven't made fun of anyone, and I never said it's okay for anyone to call anyone names or insult their character. The way you've been saying things has not come across as helpful or concerned. It has come across as condescending. I'm not sure why you even brought up the birth choices thing. That was a discussion about the medical birthing system and its issues and clearly not me mocking my sister's friend for getting a c-section in a few days. That would be cruel to do. I'm not like that.

 

Also, when did I tag you as an enemy? I'm so confused right now. lol

 

And I was mocking the GAPS diet just like you were discussing the medical birthing system.  You're failing to see the nuance here.  What if someone invited your sister's friend here to see what you and others said about it?  Sorry, I fail to see the difference.

Abra mocks vegans on her Facebook page, so she's hardly coming from a place of moral superiority here, and that might explain my defensiveness.  She also brought my diet into the discussion that I had with her about it.  Tell me again how it's different because to me it feels the same.

post #609 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

 

J, there are clear differences. I can't believe I'd even have to point them out. I haven't made fun of anyone, and I never said it's okay for anyone to call anyone names or insult their character. The way you've been saying things has not come across as helpful or concerned. It has come across as condescending. I'm not sure why you even brought up the birth choices thing. That was a discussion about the medical birthing system and its issues and clearly not me mocking my sister's friend for getting a c-section in a few days. That would be cruel to do. I'm not like that.

 

Also, when did I tag you as an enemy? I'm so confused right now. lol

 I asked an honest question to the group, Joanie.  Do you want to talk about condescension?

post #610 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

 

And I was mocking the GAPS diet just like you were discussing the medical birthing system.  You're failing to see the nuance here.  What if someone invited your sister's friend here to see what you and others said about it?  Sorry, I fail to see the difference.

Abra mocks vegans on her Facebook page, so she's hardly coming from a place of moral superiority here, and that might explain my defensiveness.  She also brought my diet into the discussion that I had with her about it.  Tell me again how it's different because to me it feels the same.

 

J, really, this is a non-issue to me. If you compare my post about my sister's friends to the post you made about GAPS/Abra/Christina, there are clear differences... My sister's friend wouldn't read my post and think I was making fun of her. Go back and read it if you want. You're comparing apples and oranges.

 

The thing I find upsetting in all of this is that our DDC community has been very close and we feel trusting enough in each other as friends to share the most intimate stories with one another, public or not. It would be a shame if people now felt uncomfortable talking on here because their personal beliefs are invalidated and made fun of behind their back.

 

I didn't know Abra mocked vegans on her Facebook, so I missed that piece of the puzzle and apologize for not knowing any of that.

post #611 of 734

The internet is public, Joanie.

 

Noted- it's okay to gossip in person or on the phone, but not on the internet.  It's okay to gossip about birth choices but not diet.  It's okay to do it on Facebook but not another forum.  It's not okay to name call or insult someone's character, but nobody will say anything about that.   confused.gif  

post #612 of 734
I'm stepping back. This is all way out of left field, I have no idea what's happening, I effing hate drama, and I like all of you. I'll come back when it's calmed down.
post #613 of 734

I don't understand your level of defensiveness, J. You are taking everything I said out of context too. I don't want to spend the time correcting anything you wrote that is not what I explicitly said. Please don't take my words and twist them around... That's not right. Your interpretation of what I said is inaccurate, and I hope the other members of our group understand that.

 

I know the internet is public. Why is that continually brought up?

post #614 of 734

I'm with Nicole. Drama is not cool. Peace out, ladies, and I hope to chat with you again soon when things aren't so hostile around here. 

post #615 of 734

I am defensive because I am not even nearly the only person in this DDC who has made unsavory remarks outside of this forum.  Is it really surprising that I would defend myself?  I'm not going to out anybody or anything but, seriously.  

 

I didn't say you explicitly said those things.  I asked for clarification and my previous post is what I am gleaning from this conversation.  

post #616 of 734
Very well said Joanie.
post #617 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by birdhappy85 View Post

 

J, really, this is a non-issue to me. If you compare my post about my sister's friends to the post you made about GAPS/Abra/Christina, there are clear differences... My sister's friend wouldn't read my post and think I was making fun of her. Go back and read it if you want. You're comparing apples and oranges.

 

The thing I find upsetting in all of this is that our DDC community has been very close and we feel trusting enough in each other as friends to share the most intimate stories with one another, public or not. It would be a shame if people now felt uncomfortable talking on here because their personal beliefs are invalidated and made fun of behind their back.

 

I didn't know Abra mocked vegans on her Facebook, so I missed that piece of the puzzle and apologize for not knowing any of that.

 

 

Sorry, you edited and added this after I read it.  Yeah, nobody knew that because I don't bring that stuff over here for everyone to read.  eyesroll.gif

post #618 of 734
Abra, I do hope you decide to stay. I love living vicariously through you and your adventures. And I would be so sad to not get to hear about whatever country you guys end up in.
post #619 of 734
Quote:
Originally Posted by CDsMom1031 View Post

Abra, I do hope you decide to stay. I love living vicariously through you and your adventures. And I would be so sad to not get to hear about whatever country you guys end up in.


I agree!  I love hearing about your bus adventures :):)

post #620 of 734
Thread Starter 

I spent 24 hours offline, and boy did I have a lot to catch up on...

 

I love hearing about ALL of your lives, and all of our varying opinions on dieting and parenting.  All of our backgrounds and personal situations make us an awesome and diverse group.  Everyone is at a different place, and we all have different opinions and beliefs and quarks.  The one and only thing we ALL have in common is that we all have children around the same age, and we all love parenting and want to share our ups and down with each other. 

 

In life there are always negative people and hurtful things to be said.  Everywhere.  And that is just a reality. And we all have to chose whether or not we let the negativity of others drive us. We wont all get along all the time.  But...I think this has probably shaken the core of our small group.  I really doubt everyone will be so quick to honesty now (or honesty that isn't directed negatively towards somebody, because that seems to be flowing freely today). 

 

Its sad.  I value this community, and I see the end in sight.

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