I feel like one of the most life altering things about becoming pregnant and having kids is the realization of how fragile life really is. Here is this little being that you love more than life itself and you have, really, a very limited ability to control what happens to them. It's hard and wonderful at the same time. And it really does allow a person to be more empathetic to loss and to hardship, because now you really know what that loss means.
Before I had DS, things I saw in the news would upset me, but now I feel that those stories are absolutely heart wrenching. Before I had DS, my step cousin's baby passed away at 8 months old, and going to that funeral was really hard. But I'm not sure that I could even stomach it now. The week I found out I was pregnant, my husband's niece and nephew lost their baby at 13 weeks. They were able to get pregnant again soon after, but at 36 weeks she felt reduced fetal movement, so went in to get checked out. They found that the baby was close to death and did an emergency section to save the baby...but she has brain damage due to oxygen deprivation. A good friend of mine had four miscarriages (that I *know* of) while trying for her second child...and since I have become pregnant, she has been able to carry her baby so far to almost 20 weeks. Her SIL used IVF to get pregnant and they found out that they are having triplets; one set of twins and a singlet...but one of the twins is overtaking the other, so they told her that that one will likely pass away. When they checked on her again, they noticed that the larger twin is missing it's entire urinary tract and some organs. They made the choice to try to "eliminate" the twins while hoping that the singlet baby survives. Another friend of mine, I met while trudging through my DS's food issues, she had met a lot of local GI doctors that are supportive of breast feeding and a more traditional diet...because her son has mitochondrial disease and won't likely survive to his teens. He is literally wasting away in front of her eyes.
There are a lot of things that can go wrong in life. There is more that can go right though. Something I know from speaking with my friends, is like Cuau said - they would never want to switch places with you. Your child will likely hold a special place in their hearts. And that we should enjoy the relative ease that we have dealing with typical problems, and not take health for granted.
Yeah, this is a tough subject for sure. Try to be there for your friends, but also be happy for what you have - they want you to enjoy it.