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Nursing an 18mo to sleep

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Crossed posted in Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy

DD is my third-and last-child. I love nursing her to sleep and cuddling with her as we both drift off. However, this is an every night occurrence. She nurses to sleep for at least an hour each night during which I usually fall asleep too and am out for the night. I feel like, bc of this, I have very lottle time to myself or to just spend some time with my DH. Obviously, this also puts a damper on our relationship. it's very rare that DD will "let me go" and often wakes up (even after the hour long nursing session) when I try to slip my breast out if her mouth. Does anyone else have a babe like this? A large part of me of me enjoys this time, the closeness, as I know this will be my last child and I just want to savor every moment when she wants and needs me this much. but then there are times where I just need that extra hour at night to get things done, etc. and I'm feeling so overwhelmed with responsibilities right now. Thanks for reading
post #2 of 5
Hi there, I'm in the very same boat as you here with my 16 month old. 90% of the time I'm very happy to do what we do, but wouldn't it be so nice to be able to sneak away and have some adult time with the DH or even just to have some self-care time! (Paint my toenails ;-D)..... Oh I nearly forgot, even to able to accept a hen party or wedding invite once in a while.. It's tough being tied to a toddlers sleep! And it's a lonely club in the real world. I have no other friend in this position. They would think I'm mad if they really knew how tied I was! Hugs to you! I KNOW!!
Edited by susanmary - 4/5/13 at 5:15am
post #3 of 5
Just to let you both know that you are not alone. It is helpful to hear others share about this particular lifestyle so thanks.
I love our arrangement and don't want to change it to benefit a few outings, however, it would be nice to go to a wedding or events without stressing about nap time and feeding down our 17 month old. He still has not been without me for more than a few hours (stayed with dad). Am I too attached to the hip with him... I don't feel so but others may.
We are lucky to have all this time with him and know it goes by so fast. I am anxious to see of other moms' will chime in.
post #4 of 5
Hi there again,

Firstly OP, I've just reread your post and honestly think you are fabulous as you have two other children as well.

Hi Momma Michael, goodness your comment about the difficulties with weddings and nap times and bed really resonates with me. I find the social pressure/awkwardness then of having to explain why I can't just stay the day and night really isolating at times. My son would roar the house down of he didn't have mummy/boobie for sleep. And because of this, like you, I've only left him for a maximum of 2 and a half hours so far with either my mum or my husband. In my head, I'm respecting my son's needs/wishes as much as I practically can here because he does need me for sleep and calls "mama" a lot whenever i do need to leave him. Currently, I'm just his EVERYTHING/security I suppose. And he's a sensitive soul. I don't think I'm doing any of this for my own immediate benefit, but I do hope your bond will help us stay connected in the future and ease us a little more through the tougher developmental stages. But honestly, I do what I do because I feel it's what he needs right now. I'm sure my in-laws and a lot of friends might comment that he's "too attached at the hip" like you mentioned. It's not easy in our culture that values independence so much!

Thanks for the rant ladies! ;-)
post #5 of 5
I just want to say we were in a very similar boat around 18 months. DD just had her second birthday and things are a lot different now! I did get pregnant around that time and over a few weeks she cut down to nursing at naptime, bedtime and a bit overnight (that last part involved a little gentle encouragement). She still needs me to go down but increasingly is happy to nurse a while (like 45 minutes eyesroll.gif ) and finish with snuggles to sleep. She's also a lot more willing to hang with both grandmas now for hours where she was in a heavy Velcro phase six months ago. Best of all I can get some housework done during the day and usually leave her sleeping on her bed at night while DH and I hang out a bit. I have no huge practical tips except maybe do some gentle, partial night weaning to see if that helps DC sleep a little more soundly which could make escapes easier. Time helped most though, I think. She's a different kiddo and the independence is bubbling up
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