or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Please tell me....
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Please tell me.... - Page 2

post #21 of 58
35
post #22 of 58
Thread Starter 
@meemee and limabean. ....you are my new best friend ...thank you!

I am one month away from 39. Feeling old...recently on two occassions i was asked if my two year old was my grandson......
post #23 of 58

32

 

Ah! and your 39. Congrats you look great for 39! 32 was my upper limit. Have you considered maybe people are misjudging based on your short hair, glasses and maybe the way you dress? *please forgive me if that sounds harsh I don't personally think this means grandma but it does fit a grandma stereotype* Like plain clothes and straight leg pants in combination with glasses + short hair + frumpy dressing... I can see how someone could maybe see you as an extremely young grandmother... if they squinted.

post #24 of 58
Yowza! You'd be one hot young grandma! Not that it doesn't happen, but I am surprised anyone would guess that and not just assume you were mom. I think asking if you're the grandparent is right up there with asking if a woman is pregnant: it's rude to assume f you're not absolutely sure.
post #25 of 58

I was totally thinking 35.  You definitely don't look like a grandma..even with the short hair and glasses...your short hairstyle is different from the short hair-style of the typical grandma (which is similar to the hairstyles of the 50's/60's). 

post #26 of 58

I thought about 30. I am 36, my oldest is almost 18years and my youngest is 18months. We have several times all been out shopping, and people call the baby my granddaughter. I see RED when that happens, I don't know why I react so angrily!! The teens don't like being assumed to be her mom, but they hold her all the time at the store anyway. I remember one cashier called one of my teens the baby's mother, and I said, "That's MY baby!" and she said, "Oh, I thought she was hers." and I said, "No, SHE'S my baby, too. They are ALL MY babies." I'd never assume someone was a grandmother bc of her age, even before being an "old" mother! I guess I am protective of my teens (I was a teen mom and remember how people treated me!) AND my own self. That cutest thing in the universe right there is MINE, I popped her out of meself, I made that child.

post #27 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by momtoS View Post

I am one month away from 39. Feeling old...recently on two occassions i was asked if my two year old was my grandson......

Hey, we're the same age! I think I posted this here already, but when I turned 38 I was sort of horrified to realize that my grandma was 38 when she became a grandmother. So there definitely are grandmas out there who are our age (I know, yikes!!!), but with so many people having their first baby at a later age these days, it's ruderuderude to assume a 30s-looking woman is the grandma!! You look great. smile.gif
post #28 of 58
Purplerose, we have a similar timeline. I'm 36, my oldest will be 17 this month, and my youngest is almost 2. Actually, my youngest will (fingers crossed) be born in September! I haven't heard a grandma comment, or anyone asking either of my teens if the baby is theirs, but I'm very aware of curious glances and I don't usually let the girls tend to the baby in public because of my sensitivity to the issue. I think I'd have a hard time controlling my irritation if someone ever did make a comment like that. And I guess it's even more likely with the new one coming- we're not getting any younger!
post #29 of 58
iI talked to the kids before having the baby about how people will make assumptions and they didn't and still don't care. They insist on carryimg/ chasing the baby around the store. Icouldn't shop otherwise bc if she isn't free, she is screaming and I can't take everyone staring at me angrily. i don't ask them to do that for me in stores but I do ask for help with her at home, especially during the witching hour when it's too late for nap but too early for bed. She adores her sisters! She is one lucky kid smile.gif My middle two are 16 & 10.
post #30 of 58

oye vey!!! you dont even have lines on your face. nor grey hair. you are stylishly dressed, if that's how you normally dress.

 

mama i'd write them off as jealous. i can see you being called a nerd because of your glasses. but a gma - no way!!! 

 

if i do get that comment (and they have the right to say so) i hope its not said in front of dd. someone might get a mouthful from her. 

post #31 of 58

Your hair and glasses are adorable and hip.
 

post #32 of 58

Super cute! I actually thought you were much younger because of your cool style. My guess was late 20's through mid 30's,  but certainly not 38-39!

post #33 of 58

I guessed 32. I was pretty sure you were in your 30s, but thinking it was possible you were in your 20s. I didn't go to 40s. 

 

I've had the grandma comment before, too, and I don't think I look at all like a grandma, but I have a very stereotypical Golden Girls kinda image of a grandma in my head and the fact is that you could be a grandma at 32 if you you had your daughter at 16 and she had a baby at 16. Sheesh! I didn't have my first until I was 36. The person who made the grandma comment to me was from another culture and may well have been the grandma of the kids she was with. Most of the women I hang out with all had babies in their late 20s or well into their 30s, so we're all about the same age. I'm a little older than some, but just by a 5 years or so. I'm 48 now and my youngest is in 3rd grade. I'd say most of the moms of the other kids in the class that I hang out with are also in their 40s or maybe 30s if their 3rd grader is their oldest child. I don't know any parent from the class who is in their 20s although you could certainly be late 20s with an 8 or 9 yr old.

post #34 of 58

i had the grandma comment about 2 years ago (i was then 47 with a 3 nearly 4 years old + 10 and 12 y.o. in tow), in a park

 

i met that person again in another context and "probed" her a bit on the subject ... in my case it was mainly that ... she couldn't think of anything else to say and was forcing herself to "say something - anything" in order to overcome her limitation (she had just volunteered to read to passing children in a park, was with the person who had started the group, but was unsure herself about how to go on about it .... being rather shy and sefl-conscious)

so i classified it as "mindless talking" ....

 

not to say that i don't look my age now (especially with health worry and major stress & poor sleep over the last 20 months)

+ at the school gate, i know one of two moms a little younger than i am & who are indeed grand'ma (as well as having a child in grade school)

post #35 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

I thought about 30. I am 36, my oldest is almost 18years and my youngest is 18months. We have several times all been out shopping, and people call the baby my granddaughter. I see RED when that happens, I don't know why I react so angrily!! The teens don't like being assumed to be her mom, but they hold her all the time at the store anyway. I remember one cashier called one of my teens the baby's mother, and I said, "That's MY baby!" and she said, "Oh, I thought she was hers." and I said, "No, SHE'S my baby, too. They are ALL MY babies." I'd never assume someone was a grandmother bc of her age, even before being an "old" mother! I guess I am protective of my teens (I was a teen mom and remember how people treated me!) AND my own self. That cutest thing in the universe right there is MINE, I popped her out of meself, I made that child.

 

As much as I'd dislike this, it kind of makes me wish ds1 were a girl. We've had several people mistake him for dd2's dad, while correctly assuming that I'm the mom. It's...awkward...

post #36 of 58

Id say 33, 34 

post #37 of 58
I am 31, and thought you look a couple years older than me. I definitely wouldn't assume you were grandma.

Purplerose, I don't know how old your teenaged daughters *look*, but I would think it rude to assume that a young woman holding a baby in a store was *not* that baby's mother. I became a mom at 20, but looked younger, and I remember being annoyed and frustrated that people assumed I was *not* my kids' mother. I remember being on a playground with my two toddlers, and visibly pregnant, and being asked if I was babysitting! While pregnant with my youngest (my *sixth* baby), two separate people told me they thought I was in high school. These days it's flattering that people think I'm younger than I am, but for a long time I just desperately wanted to be taken seriously. Ultimately, I don't think it's any more polite to assume that a young woman couldn't be the baby's mother than an older one.
post #38 of 58

I guess I have learned from this thread never to assume anyone is a parent or NOT a parent. I never thought about it being offensive to assume someone wasn't the parent. I was a teenage mom myself and it never bothered me if people thought I wasn't her mother, it was the attitude towards the fact that I WAS her mother that bothered me.

post #39 of 58
I got that attitude, too, purplerose. Once a grocery store cashier told me that if I was her daughter, she'd kill me (for having kids at such a young age). This was after carding me for my husband's cigarettes, so she *knew* I was in my 20s and still felt it was unacceptable. I guess it's just that I felt that my life choices were perfectly acceptable, and as deserving of respect as anyone else's. I was just as much of a mother, and just as good of a mother, as any woman ten years older, and I didn't appreciate being treated like a child.
post #40 of 58
Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post


Hey, we're the same age! I think I posted this here already, but when I turned 38 I was sort of horrified to realize that my grandma was 38 when she became a grandmother. So there definitely are grandmas out there who are our age (I know, yikes!!!), but with so many people having their first baby at a later age these days, it's ruderuderude to assume a 30s-looking woman is the grandma!! You look great. smile.gif

I had mine late so I can tell u from close observation :))  that while some are having them late it's usually the 2nd or 3rd that's late. The first is almost always in the 20s.

New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Talk Amongst Ourselves
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Talk Amongst Ourselves › Please tell me....