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Mothering › Groups › November 2013 Due Date Club › Discussions › I am also out...

I am also out...

post #1 of 15
Thread Starter 

Well, we ended up going in for a follow up ultrasound at about 8 weeks b/c my first lab report had that disturbing line in it about an interstitial pregnancy not being excluded.  And since I've had a previous ectopic rupture, we felt that we must make sure I wasn't at risk.  We went in and got good news first......that the pregnancy was in utero and my uterus is not forked.  But the bad news was, there was no heartbeat.  Fetal growth measured about 6.5 weeks.  The doctor who spoke with us (who is a neonatal specialist) assured me that this is just a very common early miscarriage.  (I was convinced that I'm out for good after having an ectopic and now this).  I appear to be healthy and he said there is no reason to believe that I couldn't go on to have a very normal, healthy pregnancy.  This is our attempt for number 3 and I've realized that I've been putting a lot of weight on this decision to have a third over the last year and a half.  So, I think that over the next weeks and months, I have some letting go to do.  Physically, I'm not spotting or cramping yet so there is that aspect to let go of.  And then letting go of the heaviness of "are we or aren't we?" and just enjoying what IS right before me.  Two beautiful kids and a loving husband.  Time to drink an IPA on the deck with dinner, enjoy the warm weather heading our way and just be okay that whether we do or do not have another child is not entirely in my control and realize that either way WILL BE GOOD!

 

I'm pondering some letting go ritual or celebration to help mark this time.  Anyone have any ideas?  I can feel myself getting frustrated with my body (which still feels pregnant).  It's been a few days since I've learned.  And I know it can be weeks until the miscarriage actually happens.  Finding some peace with that seems fitting.  

 

Wishing you all lots of peace and joy as you travel down the road towards November!


Sarah

post #2 of 15

Sarah, I am sorry for your loss - so hard. I cant think of any ritual/celebrations but it sounds like a fitting, touching idea. I know with our losses, i've taken comfort fron planting memorial shrubs which bloom around birthdays/due dates/anniversaries type thing. 

 

I wish you peace and strength at this time.

post #3 of 15
I'm so sorry greensad.gif take good care of yourself, I hope you find a way to gain some peace and closure. We will be thinking about you, dear!
post #4 of 15

I'm so sorry.

post #5 of 15
I am so sorry for your loss! I lost a baby at 36 weeks last April, and i plan to either release a balloon in his honor or one of those chinese lanterns. I suppose it is symbolic as well as literal for "letting go". Best wishes to you and your family <3
post #6 of 15
Those Chinese lanterns are a great and beautiful way to add some symbolism of letting go. You have to go through the whole process of lighting them, and "caring" for them while they develop and then they have to be let go. Very symbolic.
post #7 of 15

I am so sorry. Wishing you comfort and love candle.gif

post #8 of 15
Very, very sorry to hear of your loss. I've had 3 losses and still grieve them so my heart goes out to you. I'm only 7w with this one and decided from the start that I would be grateful for every moment -- just in case. Sending lots of hugs and prayers!
post #9 of 15

Your post just shows so much strength for the future. I was also going to suggest the shurb/flower, but beyond that I have no original ideas.

grouphug.gif

 

Do you think taking some herbs to help the labor along would be helpful in letting go?

post #10 of 15

i want to say i am so sorry for your loss mommy bawling.gif

post #11 of 15

So sorry to hear of your loss! hug2.gif  May you find a way to let go in your own time.   Peace to you in the coming weeks. 

post #12 of 15

Sarah, I'm so sorry for your loss. I think the idea of planting something in honor of this pregnancy is a beautiful idea. hug.gif

post #13 of 15

I'm sorry.  I think a ceremony of some kind is a good idea.  We planted a tree... though it's in the yard, and I still have mixed feelings about it.
 

post #14 of 15

I'm so very sorry.  I can't imagine how hard it is to wait this out.  grouphug.gif

post #15 of 15

I am so very, very sorry.  I am thinking about you as you move forward with your "letting go" process. 

 

when I had a miscarriage in November I did a lot of work on this.  I actually decided to start a Happiness Jar.  I felt like I was focusing too much on loss and not enough on the blessings in my life, ones like you mention :)

 

I'll be thinking about you. :hug
 

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