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Pink for girls and blue for boys - what do you think? - Page 2

post #21 of 75
I love bright colours so that's what DD (just turned 2) gets. Orange, green, turquoise, red, yellow, and blue are the bulk of her stuff but she does have some pink (95% gifts). I buy lots of patterns and try to keep it fairly gender neutral. I did get her some boys pjs (tigers and alligators in outer space - I couldn't leave them!) and her Halloween costume was off the boys' rack. That really ticked me off: as a girl she could be a ladybug or a pink bunny but the boys had the elephants, lions and tigers. I didn't care; she still wears her lion hoodie and pants at times. I'm keeping her stuff for baby #2 and of its a boy, he will go out in the green-yellow-purple striped pants and he'll sleep in the pink fleece pants. They'll both simply get peed in anyways lol.
I'm actually quit upset, my favourite place to shop for baby clothes (Tag) is going out of business. They have the cutest boy baby clothes in bright colours with all sorts of animals and their girl stuff includes pink but each style comes in 3 or more colours so you can mix and match and have the same outfit mostly pink, a hint of pink or zero pink as you prefer. I will REALLY miss this store. Their stuff is stylish and unique as well as practical greensad.gif
post #22 of 75

"souly"  Haha.  Yes, those details derail me all the time, I had to stop reading after that.

 

When I was in high school, boys wore pink shirts and bright green pants.  Ugly, honestly, but it was the style for some people. I loved pink and had a pink canopy bed, but my sister loved brown and had a brown one.

 

When my oldest was a newborn, her carseat was navy blue, because, you know, that's how carseats came.  I was carrying her into the hospital to go to the breastfeeding class, and as we were riding up in the elevator, a man took one look at my baby in her carseat in the stroller, covered with a navy receiving blanket and asked about my boy. I told him she was a girl, and he said I obviously wanted a boy, judging by how much blue I had.  I was very annoyed. I don't even like navy blue, but, you know, that's what I got from people, so I was going to use it.

 

When I was a child, someone knit a baby blanket for my sister in pink, blue and white.  That seemed to be common, as I recall.  My MIL made one for my children in pale green and white, though. 

 

I loved pink, as I said, but I would not want all my toys in pink.  I really hate that trend!  Our play kitchen was mostly dark yellow and white with brown, as I recall.  It was the 70's, after all. :D

post #23 of 75

When I was pregnant with our son, before we found out his gender, relatives asked me what color I'd prefer for gifts. I said either green or yellow. News spread it was a boy... and suddenly.... "boy" clothes.

 

That said..  my mom dressed me in pink and white and in dresses when I was a child. She did everything she could to make me a girly-girl. Never worked out. I saw trees and started climbing them and well... dresses don't work when you're climbing trees and acting like a monkey, lol. Nor are they cute when a little girl is covered in scratches, LOL. So she settled for pink shirt and short outfits.

 

So, I know colors don't make a child act a particular way. My son likes pink, and even though he's 2, he has yet to act LIKE a girl.

 

I just...resent all the toys marketed "For GIRLS!!" and "for BOYS!!". When we go to the toy store, if my son sees a pink fairy wand, I let him play with it. Regardless of the looks we might get. If he sees a giant pink bouncy ball, I let him play with it. I don't technically hate the assumption he's going to grow up using strictly power tools and fixing cars and whatnot because frankly, ALL our kids will be taught this. It's just practical. I don't think a girl should have her own car, and not be able to figure out what's wrong with it if it's not working just because she was never taught the ins and outs of how cars run. This was me. No one saw any reason to teach me, because I am a girl. This trend will not continue. Beyond that, I don't care for the assumption that my son shouldn't grow up liking fairies and unicorns.

post #24 of 75
My girls love everything pink and frilly but you will also see them sporting a Bears jersey or a hockey sweater with that pink fluff. I hate it that some will judge me because of their pinkalicious tastes but would be equally thrilled if it was a son choosing the same colors. They like what they like, who am I to restrict pink because it bothers others.

Ironically a friend banned everything pink or girly and it completely backfired on her. Her daughter spent 3 years refusing to leave the house without a twirly skirt or dress, usually in a shade of pink or purple :-)
post #25 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post

My girls love everything pink and frilly but you will also see them sporting a Bears jersey or a hockey sweater with that pink fluff. I hate it that some will judge me because of their pinkalicious tastes but would be equally thrilled if it was a son choosing the same colors. They like what they like, who am I to restrict pink because it bothers others.

Ironically a friend banned everything pink or girly and it completely backfired on her. Her daughter spent 3 years refusing to leave the house without a twirly skirt or dress, usually in a shade of pink or purple :-)

 

I agree parents should not restrict their children's choices. The colour obsession is an adult thing, not a child thing. I don't believe children are very much influenced by corporate marketing at this age, they're influenced by who they look up to. For me, it was my dad, he did all sort of cool things, fix cars, go fishing, build things, play sports. "All" my mom did was clean the house and cook, as a kid that was terribly boring and I wanted no part of it, so of course I gravitated towards "boys" things. It never occurred to me at the time that those things weren't "girls" things, I wasn't much aware of gender as a kid, my two categories were "interesting" and "boring"... the "interesting" things to me all happened to not be pink. 

 

I don't like when pink and frilly things are "banned" by families in an attempt to guide their child... what message is that sending? That femininity is weak, inferior and undesirable?  I have many feminist friends (although now that I've started having kids, I'm not sure they would consider me a friend anymore lol) who see homemakers as oppressed victims. To them it seems unimaginable that some women might actually like working in the home and raising a family. 

post #26 of 75

When I was little I was all about anything pink, purple, and/or sparkly... if I could have dressed only in those colors I would have. That said, I also had an obsession with dinosaurs and bugs. :)  Now, that I'm a mom I will admit that when I found out I was having girls I went a little crazy with the pink! I couldn't help it, it's my favorite color. Lol! I honestly never stopped and thought about what message I was sending, I just bought what I liked... and as they got older it switched to what they liked.  Dd#1 loved pink, Dd#2 not so much, Dd #3 loves all sorts of randomness, and now that I have a little boy- well, he gets to be dressed in pink sparkles too (and dinosaurs... I never did outgrow that obsession)! :) Haha!  I do work to teach my littles that there is no such thing as a "boy color" or a "girl color" (same for toys!).  I think *maybe* retailers are starting to come around on this, I saw a pink shirt in the boys section of Baby Gap the other day :)

post #27 of 75

In case anyone is still reading ... 

 

I don't dress my daughter in pink b/c I don't like it and I don't think she looks good in it since she has light skin and dark hair and eyes.  Her closet is mostly blue, purple, green, and yellow.  I do search out non girly clothing for her.  Not that she doesn't have plenty of dresses! 

 

For my boys, my biggest issue is that even the baby clothes look like miniature adult clothing. I wanted them to look like babies! Not miniature - big people! And It's so hard to find boys clothing that does not have a character or a sports figure! What the heck?  They are three ... where is the t-shirt with the animals and cutesy stuff? 

post #28 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieCo View Post

In case anyone is still reading ... 

 

I don't dress my daughter in pink b/c I don't like it and I don't think she looks good in it since she has light skin and dark hair and eyes.  Her closet is mostly blue, purple, green, and yellow.  I do search out non girly clothing for her.  Not that she doesn't have plenty of dresses! 

 

For my boys, my biggest issue is that even the baby clothes look like miniature adult clothing. I wanted them to look like babies! Not miniature - big people! And It's so hard to find boys clothing that does not have a character or a sports figure! What the heck?  They are three ... where is the t-shirt with the animals and cutesy stuff?

 

It's all in my son's closet! lol... I'll trade them for your miniature adult clothing, I think those look adorable! lol ....but then I'm the same person that dressed my son up in a 3 piece suit to go visit my parents because I thought it was hilarious (it was $10 on sale, in his size, I couldn't resist!smile.gif)

post #29 of 75

Yes, the colour thing is nuts, but for me the issue goes WAY beyond colour.

 

My DS2 is what I have recently heard called a *pink boy*. He came out of the womb loving pink, glitter, barbies and all things girly. He is now in kindergarten and is very aware that he is not like other boys and what he is is not generally acceptable. In general the kids in his class have come to accept  him, but the number of times he has been told (by both children AND adults) that he shouldn't have a pink pony because he's a boy (or a Barbie, or whatever) is unbelievable. It makes me so angry that our society is still so rigid when it comes to gender stereotypes. Forget about clothing colours- EVERYTHING for kids is split along the gender line. Walk into Toys R Us and the aisles are split very distinctly into *boy* toys and *girl* toys. Before they are three kids know what their preferences are suppose to be and God forbid if you don't fit the stereotypes. My biggest worry is that my son will develop  gender identity disorder because he doesn't fit his gender stereotype. That he will think he must not really be a boy because he doesn't like the things boys are suppose to like and so he will come to identify too strongly with girls. Whereas if we as a society could just stop being so uptight and fearful of everyone fitting the role we have decided goes with their genitalia, people could be free to like what they like without feeling like freaks and misfits. My DH and I do our best to assure our son that he and his tastes are perfectly acceptable, but it is an uphill battle.

 

Has everyone heard of the couple in Toronto who made all the headlines last year because they are keeping the sex of their third child a secret until s/he is old enough to tell people him/herself? It has caused an absolute uproar! People are so angry with  them and seem to  think this is akin to child abuse. NUTS.

post #30 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2cal&darby View Post

Yes, the colour thing is nuts, but for me the issue goes WAY beyond colour.

My DS2 is what I have recently heard called a *pink boy*. He came out of the womb loving pink, glitter, barbies and all things girly. He is now in kindergarten and is very aware that he is not like other boys and what he is is not generally acceptable. In general the kids in his class have come to accept  him, but the number of times he has been told (by both children AND adults) that he shouldn't have a pink pony because he's a boy (or a Barbie, or whatever) is unbelievable. It makes me so angry that our society is still so rigid when it comes to gender stereotypes. Forget about clothing colours- EVERYTHING for kids is split along the gender line. Walk into Toys R Us and the aisles are split very distinctly into *boy* toys and *girl* toys. Before they are three kids know what their preferences are suppose to be and God forbid if you don't fit the stereotypes. My biggest worry is that my son will develop  gender identity disorder because he doesn't fit his gender stereotype. That he will think he must not really be a boy because he doesn't like the things boys are suppose to like and so he will come to identify too strongly with girls. Whereas if we as a society could just stop being so uptight and fearful of everyone fitting the role we have decided goes with their genitalia, people could be free to like what they like without feeling like freaks and misfits. My DH and I do our best to assure our son that he and his tastes are perfectly acceptable, but it is an uphill battle.

Has everyone heard of the couple in Toronto who made all the headlines last year because they are keeping the sex of their third child a secret until s/he is old enough to tell people him/herself? It has caused an absolute uproar! People are so angry with  them and seem to  think this is akin to child abuse. NUTS.

Your DS sounds a lot like my DH was as a kid. He played with his sister's dolls, wasn't into most boy things and his friends were generally girls. He is a very compassionate man and an amazing, very involved father. I'm so appalled at the comments people make about your son but it's so good to hear that you are supportive of him.
I've read about the couple you mentioned and although I wouldn't go that route myself, I can see where they are coming from. It wouldn't really bother me if I knew these people - a child is a child and as long as there is love and safety, the child will thrive.
post #31 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by skycheattraffic View Post


Your DS sounds a lot like my DH was as a kid. He played with his sister's dolls, wasn't into most boy things and his friends were generally girls. He is a very compassionate man and an amazing, very involved father. I'm so appalled at the comments people make about your son but it's so good to hear that you are supportive of him.
I've read about the couple you mentioned and although I wouldn't go that route myself, I can see where they are coming from. It wouldn't really bother me if I knew these people - a child is a child and as long as there is love and safety, the child will thrive.

No, I don't think I would make the same choice, either, but I understand that it came from their DS1 being gender *fluid* and having to deal with people's disapproval of his choice of dress, hair style and toys etc. I can empathize with them wanting their child to decide for themself who they are and what they like without the constant (often negative) input from other people.

post #32 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2cal&darby View Post

Has everyone heard of the couple in Toronto who made all the headlines last year because they are keeping the sex of their third child a secret until s/he is old enough to tell people him/herself? It has caused an absolute uproar! People are so angry with  them and seem to  think this is akin to child abuse. NUTS.

 

When I first heard about it I thought it was a bit nuts but then I heard that they're only holding off until the child can answer for "itself"... so I think it makes the "experiment" kind of pointless; kids at that age don't know one gender from another anyway, they don't know what being a boy or a girl means, they just know that they're either labeled a boy or a girl for the purpose of answering the question. They play with what's fun, there is no way to convince a child to like something for any reason, let alone to comply with something they have no concept of. 

post #33 of 75

I think the judgment people get for dressing their kids or allowing their kids to wear certain colors is ridiculous.  How is a 3-year old supposed to know that they should like a certain color and that people might be mean to them if they like the "wrong" color.  Other people shouldn't give you dirty looks when your son is playing with a fairy wand. 

I don't think you need to be able to tell the sex of a baby by looking at them.  Babies all kind of look the same.  They don't have secondary sex characteristics yet so who cares if it's obvious that they are a girl or boy? 

I am about to have my first baby and we have seen while shopping how hard it can be to find gender neutral items.  Even thermometers and humidifiers and combs come in pink or blue.  I don't think the baby will care what color his thermometer is.  Most of the clothes come in pink or blue too.  It's hard to find other colors.  You have to really look.  I have also heard that toddler pants for girls are cut slimmer than for boys.  I think that is wrong because it makes it harder for the girls to move around and their clothes may be harder to fit over a diaper, and I don't think 2-year olds need to be participating in the skinny jeans trend.

post #34 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeyAC View Post

I think the judgment people get for dressing their kids or allowing their kids to wear certain colors is ridiculous.  How is a 3-year old supposed to know that they should like a certain color and that people might be mean to them if they like the "wrong" color.  Other people shouldn't give you dirty looks when your son is playing with a fairy wand. 

I don't think you need to be able to tell the sex of a baby by looking at them.  Babies all kind of look the same.  They don't have secondary sex characteristics yet so who cares if it's obvious that they are a girl or boy? 

I am about to have my first baby and we have seen while shopping how hard it can be to find gender neutral items.  Even thermometers and humidifiers and combs come in pink or blue.  I don't think the baby will care what color his thermometer is.  Most of the clothes come in pink or blue too.  It's hard to find other colors.  You have to really look.  I have also heard that toddler pants for girls are cut slimmer than for boys.  I think that is wrong because it makes it harder for the girls to move around and their clothes may be harder to fit over a diaper, and I don't think 2-year olds need to be participating in the skinny jeans trend.

 

Yup, they are cut differently... I made the mistake of buying my son girls pants once. They were just black pants so I didn't pay much attention (either did the person stocking the store apparently because they were on the boys side), I put them on him a few times... I couldn't quite place what was wrong with them and even my husband said the pants look weird on him... I just assumed it was because they were kind of flared at the bottom and he's got fat little legs so that must have been it, then one day I noticed the tag, it said girls. I gave it to my friend who has a girl, they looked perfectly fine on her... I've since noticed that girls pants tend to be bell-bottom type styles, whereas boys are all straight legs and boot cuts. 

post #35 of 75

I personally do not care for pastels of any color.  So our baby/toddler wardrobes are mostly jewel tones and neutrals (white, natural, brown, gray, black).

 

We're also making a real effort to raise children with the awareness that gender is simply NOT something we can define for them nor is it something that exists in a dichotomy.  I don't even really think of my children as having genders-- I know their physical sexes, but it's strange to me when people call them boys and girls.  We absolutely do not coach them to use such language-- I tell my sons that they have penises, and some people have penises and some people don't, but I have NEVER told them that they are boys, because it's not up to me what gender they identify with.

 

Back on topic, there are comfortable, practical, and attractive clothes available in every size, and that means that there are gowns/skirts/dresses for babies up to the age of crawling and toddlers above the age of walking well, pants and long- and short- sleeved shirts for everybody, etc., and our children just pick what they want to wear (most are capable of choosing between a couple options around the age of 10 months).

 

My 3.5yo son's favorite clothes are a black and cream velvet dress and an orange shirt with monkeys and bananas screenprinted on it.  He can wear what he likes to wear and if he wants to attach meaning to his wardrobe choices as his understanding of social norms develops, so be it.  Gender is constantly evolving, socially-defined and highly performative, it's not a fact of your anatomy.

post #36 of 75

The problem I have with it goes deeper than whether a particular child wears a particular colour on a particular day, and can't be remedied that much by dressing boys in pink (though I did that!)

 

I have a huge problem with the genderisation of society. I don't believe we have two genders, and certainly not a binary sexuality, so I really have a problem with the whole concept of blue-boy pink-girl. I don't just have a problem with encouraging girls and boys to identify with certain colours but also with the idea that we fit into nice easy boxes like "boy" "girl".

 

I also think there is often an undercurrent of "boys who wear pink end up gay" and the trouble with these discussions (not on here I mean-in rl) is that they often end up on the defensive ("no he won't. My husband....". When actually what I've always said is, "and? so? do you have a problem with that, because I am his mother and I don't.". (avoiding, "yeah, right, because human sexuality is that straightforward").

 

The reason I think we actually have these two colours is twofold. First it feeds the social desire to segregate into girls and boys that a lot of people do seem to have. Second, its a real boon for anyone selling kid stuff. If you have two kids, a boy and a girl, you have to get two freaking lots of everything! Seriously, I've known couples with twins who actually buy two separate sets of cutlery (I mean I barely bought special baby cutlery anyway but still...), Two pushchairs! Two sets of Lego. Its a marketing dream.

 

Oh just responding to "


But on the other hand, it also irks me that the same people who would applaud me letting my DS wear pink may also scoff at my DD's sparkly pink wardrobe. I let them both wear what they like. IME, some parents seem more interested in subverting stereotypes than in letting their kid be who s/he is."

 

not having a go, I take your point. I've always steered my girls strongly away from this stuff but let them play/dress up in it if they really want to. But I'm not keen that they do, I feel like a lot of society is pushing them this way and its ok for me to push back. When I was a kid I was not allowed Barbie or Sindy dolls owing to my mum being a Greenham Common feminist and I was fine with it, I got why and I certainly didn't feel hard done by, but really quite proud that my mum had such strong principles.

post #37 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissAnthrope View Post

I don't even really think of my children as having genders-- I know their physical sexes, but it's strange to me when people call them boys and girls.

It's just a function of our language -- we don't have gender-neutral pronouns that are socially acceptable to use for humans (most people object to the word "it" being used for their baby/child, and I've heard some people use "zhe," but it hasn't caught on). Even you refer to your "son" and "he" in your post.
post #38 of 75

I think it's ridiculous. I feel worse for boys than for girls because girls can wear or like any color and it's okay, but it seems to not be the case for boys--at least not without them (parents and children) getting a lot of grief for it. My 2.5 yo DD LOVES blue. It is her favorite color and any time I let her pick something out for herself she will choose blue. She now has three favorite shirts that she wants to wear in rotation, and they are all dark blue. I'm okay with that--just don't like having to be so on the ball with laundry, though. ;) My husband sometimes asks me why I get her blue things or let her pick blue things, and I am quick to point out she can love whatever color she wants. I hated pink as a kid (but it's my favorite color now). My older DD, who is almost 5, likes any and all colors, although she often gravitates towards blue, too. I don't get why colors have become so very gender-specific. I have a thing for dinosaurs, and so the girls sometimes wore dinosaur garments when they were babies. Consequently, they were often blue or green. I can't tell you how many times I was asked how old HE was or what HIS name was. Seriously, people? This is the 21st century. Like I said, though, I feel badly for boys. I don't see why boys can't like pink or purple or have items in those colors. My friend's son was over the other day, and he was riding on my DD's bike, which is pink/purple and he was wearing her helmet. Also pink/purple. (She picked these out.) My friend said something, "Oh, if his dad could see him now," like it would be such an issue if he saw his son using "girly" things. The kid didn't really care--he just wanted to ride the bike, but then I think he became self-conscious about it and wanted to quit riding. I say let kids decide what colors are their favorites.

post #39 of 75

I used to dislike seeing girls dressed in head-to-toe pink, but now that I'm a mom (of a girl) I know that many kids choose to dress that way, and ask for it. It seems like a normal part of development, that kids like to do what other kids are doing, and well, pink's currently a part of it. Whether it comes from Barbie or older sisters or wherever, it seems here to stay. So are blue and trucks and football for boys, whether we like it or not.

 

I do have to admit it worries me; are gender roles getting assigned too early? I suppose that's up to each family to help the child navigate (or not), because it's definitely coming from outside the family, even when not from within.

 

My dd often chooses the girlier stuff. Where did she get this? Even if I want to subtly open her mind to other options ("How about these green pants!"), her peers steer her back. I think all I can do is let her climb that tree when she wants to, even in her dress and flats, and let her discover if that works for her or not. Perhaps it really does! She gets to decide.

post #40 of 75

Just something funny:

 

We went out to breakfast the other morning, my DH, my 3yo DS (who has pretty long red curly hair), and me.  When the server came to take our order she commented on how beautiful DS's hair is then asked, "Are you a little boy or a little girl?"  He looked at her (as serious as can be) and said, "I haven't decided yet."  I tried so hard not to laugh, but I loved it!  DH was beaming!  And the server just said, "Well, if you know before you all leave, let me know.  Okay, sweetie?" 

 

Also, I read an article, I think in Mothering, years ago about how the pink=girl and blue=boy thing is a relatively new phenomenon.  Blue used to be associated with girls because of all of the artwork depicting the Christian virgin Mary in blue robes, and mama's wanting to dress their girls in her image.  And pink was associated with boys because red was the color of kings, and of course everyone wants their son to grow up and be a king, right?

 

I think the color thing is ridiculous.  Like many of the PPs, I like to let DS choose what he enjoys.  I don't go for frills or polyester, I think other than that we are pretty open.  I don't like the way companies market to boys and girls, but I really don't like that companies market to children AT ALL!  So, I try not to subject DS (or myself for that matter) to it.  We don't frequent many big box stores, and we stay away from toy sections all together. 

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