I did not mean to give the impression that my family does not have some privacy. I don't think I have ever gone through my husbands email for anything other than looking up a water bill statement. But I could if I wanted. Growing up I was the ONLY extrovert in the house and now I am married to a very strong introvert. I respect his need for alone time. I respect his need to sit with things and process information. He and I agree about the privacy issue 100%.
Would I read my daughter's diary just because I am curious? Probably not. But I will never give her reason to expect that she has things that are "off-limits" to me as her mother. She will always know that I would look through her things if I needed to.
I agree that it is really about trust. I just think that to be truly honest with my kids, they need to know that the expectation of privacy between family members is lower than in other relationships. Living together as a unit requires more transparency and as parents, my husband and I will decide what level is beneficial for the family as a whole. That decision will not be based on personal preferences. I will not be based on how it effects my relationship with them later on. My interest is in raising responsible, compassionate people. I would love for them to respect me and be my friend as I am with my own parents but that is not my primary goal.