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Leashes for children? Yes or no? - Page 5

post #81 of 120

I once hooked a retractable leash to my toddler's belt loop while walking along a river while I was 43 weeks pregnant. She kept running off toward the river and I was way too big to chase her to keep her safe, so I leashed her. Since then I haven't been judgmental about child leashes. We can't see if a parent has an invisible disease that makes it difficult for them to chase after a child, and we don't know if that child runs off or listens well. We don't know their situation and we don't know their past experiences (how many close calls with a child running into traffic would it take for you to resort to a leash?). I figure it's more freedom than being strapped into a stroller or holding the child's arm up above their head to hold hands.

post #82 of 120

Nope.  No to a leash.

 

Until my kids were old enough to understand and hold my hand, I held them or put them in a stroller. 

post #83 of 120

actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).

post #84 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fillyjonk View Post

actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).

I used to think this way.

 

I have come to realise that some kids are in stroller long past when one would expect due to special needs.

 

My sister had one of her kids in a stroller for as long as she could - his severe autsim made him a bolter, and being jerked by a child bolting would only be so fun.

 

For a long time my youngest was prone to exhaustion and even getting ill if she did too much, due to health issues.  I remember using a stroller with her once and awhile until she was 6.  

post #85 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fillyjonk View Post

actually I'd be far more inclined to judge a parent for having a kid in a stroller or sling past around age 3. 

 

leash says to me "I have a bolter/other issues but am still committed to making sure my kid gets exercise."

 

stroller/sling says to me, "I don't care if my kid walks" (well within limits-of course little kids get tired, especially if they don't walk much. Hidden issues, etc etc).

I had three kids in the three years - I really didn't care whether they wanted to walk through the grocery store or not.  LOL!!!!!

 

If we were in the park or zoo etc - then I had the stroller available if they got tired or couldn't stay with me and hold my hand.  

 

They are all much, much older now.  It worked out okay.    I now worry about speeding in the car instead of speeding to get away from mom!

;-) 

post #86 of 120

I really don't see the issues with using strollers until any age, really... even if kids don't have a disability. Sometimes I have really busy days (as I'm sure everyone else does too) where I don't have time to let my son toddle along or take a nap or have a snack. Just because someone sees an older child in a stroller, it doesn't mean that's what they've been doing ALL day. 

post #87 of 120
If we're walking because I want exercise, my kid is probably in a stroller. If I want a leisurely walk, he's probably not. Why judge at all?
post #88 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennyanydots View Post

If we're walking because I want exercise, my kid is probably in a stroller. If I want a leisurely walk, he's probably not. Why judge at all?

Right????!!!!

Basically, no one knows what the heck is going on in someone else's family so everyone just needs to take care o' their own BIZNASS! :-P
post #89 of 120

I guess the thread is about leash use..not strollers right? So, I think no on the leashes.I'd rather just pop my child in the Ergo if I am somewhere and worried about him"getting away". But I do use a stroller when we have a long walk like from the library and we ave checked out a hundred books and there is no way for me to carry everything and my son on my back.

post #90 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by tracyamber View Post

I guess the thread is about leash use..not strollers right? So, I think no on the leashes.I'd rather just pop my child in the Ergo if I am somewhere and worried about him"getting away". But I do use a stroller when we have a long walk like from the library and we ave checked out a hundred books and there is no way for me to carry everything and my son on my back.


Ah, but when you have a 36 pound 24 mo who hates the Ergo, this is not so easy! smile.gif

I wear my 5 mo and bring a stroller for my 2.5 yo if we go on long walking activities. DS1 gets tired still and I'd rather not wear a baby and carry a toddler wink1.gif We also recently bought a double stroller since our 5 mo is also on the large side. My bad neck and back just doesn't like all this baby wearing and I can't overdo it. I'll use that double stroller and do use our single stroller without a worry when I need to!

As for leashes, yep, my kid is a bolter so when I see leash wearers now, I totally smile at them and laugh at my pre child conception of leashes. We don't have one for DS1 but I have considered it many times. We stick with the single stroller now that we have two kids, before DS2 came I'd just go streaking after DS1 to catch him. Not always fun, especially when nearly 42 weeks pregnant. Really should have just bought a leash for him wink1.gif
post #91 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by sere234 View Post


Ah, but when you have a 36 pound 24 mo who hates the Ergo, this is not so easy! smile.gif

I wear my 5 mo and bring a stroller for my 2.5 yo if we go on long walking activities. DS1 gets tired still and I'd rather not wear a baby and carry a toddler wink1.gif We also recently bought a double stroller since our 5 mo is also on the large side. My bad neck and back just doesn't like all this baby wearing and I can't overdo it. I'll use that double stroller and do use our single stroller without a worry when I need to!

As for leashes, yep, my kid is a bolter so when I see leash wearers now, I totally smile at them and laugh at my pre child conception of leashes. We don't have one for DS1 but I have considered it many times. We stick with the single stroller now that we have two kids, before DS2 came I'd just go streaking after DS1 to catch him. Not always fun, especially when nearly 42 weeks pregnant. Really should have just bought a leash for him wink1.gif

Good point ;)

post #92 of 120

Just to be clear, like I said, "hidden issues". Of course there are good reasons to be in a stroller, and in practice, its never wise to judge. Of course. I don't think I explained myself very well. 

 

What I take issue with is people judging others for using reins or a leash but then being happy to put a kid old enough to walk and in a situation where the only thing stopping them from walking is safety, into a stroller, rather than go the extra mile and put them on a leashh. TBH I think strollers are sometimes used to restrain kids and while I can totally understand that, and don't even have a problem with parents just doing it because they are tired and fed up-we all need to pace ourselves-I do think that to present a stroller (or a sling) as somehow superior to a leash is a bit daft. 

 

I just honestly do not get this. Special needs, your own tiredness or convenience or whatever aside-and these are good reasons- why on earth would you want your kid in a stroller or an Ergo, sat there, not moving much, when they could be walking independently and being safe? I don't have a problem with people using strollers or slings at all, I just struggle with them being presented as somehow better for the child. Most kids need more exercise than they get.


Edited by Fillyjonk - 5/12/13 at 12:50pm
post #93 of 120
Thread Starter 
A lot of toddlers aren't content to sit in a stroller when they're out, too. Some are explorers and really need to be on their feet looking at everything. I think leashes can be preferable to a stroller for those kids. I see this as another "know your kid" issue. We know what our kid can handle, what our kid wants, what our kid needs, and what safety considerations we need for our kid. We can take all that information and find the right solution for us.
post #94 of 120

I don't care if anyone uses a stroller or leash or ergo or whatever. Who cares what anyone else does? I have not used a leash yet but i won't say never. I am about to have my 4th child after all...

post #95 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by KaliShanti View Post

I don't care if anyone uses a stroller or leash or ergo or whatever. Who cares what anyone else does? I have not used a leash yet but i won't say never. I am about to have my 4th child after all...

Me too (except about the 4th kid thing). Let's be friends ;)

 

I remember a thread about this eons ago.  Somebody had some crazy theory about how you could train your toddler not to run off by teaching them car danger and all that.   Oh, and there was some magical "zone" where they wouldn't run further than 20 feet from the safety of their mother.  being a new and easily guilt-tripped parent, I bought all this BS hook, line, sinker.  Until I actually tried it with my bolter.  Turns out there is no magical safety zone and even with training they still run off!  Cos, it turns out, toddlers (or at least mine) aren't very smart! hahaha. 

 

Man.  Who cares, seriously. 

post #96 of 120
I think using leashes is just like baby wearing and cosleeping: that is to say not useful or needed for every child but ideal for some. My DD didn't like being worn and sleeps better apart from me. She doesn't need a leash because she's one of those mythical two year olds who only gets at most 10 feet ahead of me, stops when I ask and ALWAYS holds my hand to cross streets and parking lots. She also tolerates the stroller when I really need her in one. It would be silly of me to put a leash/backpack on her because she doesn't need the help and extra safety due to her cautious nature. I'm expecting baby #2 this summer and won't hesitate to get a leash if this little person turns out to be a bolter. I really think this is a matter of mom knows her child best and if a backpack/leash is used, it is for good reason.
post #97 of 120

My daughter had one for when we went on the Vegas strip or to other busy places. She had one that looked like a monkey and loved it, well still does. She is now 5 and I still catch her with it on in her room. She said before that its like getting monkey hugs and she puts stuff in the little pocket. We only ever used it a few times out but when she was 4 she wanted to wear it all the time in the house when she was playing.
 

post #98 of 120

I am glad to see so many nonjudgmental replies! I definitely think child leashes are fine. I grew up with two autistic brothers, one of them was a bolter. He would just run off without looking. When he was 9 or so (I was five) we were walking back to the car after a picnic at a park and he bolted, got hit by a car and spent 3 nights in the hospital. CPS was called due to child neglect. Years before, I was a tiny baby in a stroller, my sister (not autistic) was 4, brothers were 5 and 6- the whole family went to the fair and Grandpa had the bright idea to put the boys in overalls and attach ropes to the back of the overalls. They enjoyed it, had a good time at the fair but someone called CPS and reported it, so they never did it again. Sometimes you can't win :)

 

Like many of the previous posters, my older son was an early walker and I bought a "monkey backpack" for him to use at airports, etc- He enjoyed the freedom and he STILL remembers it, although the last time he used it he had just turned two. It was a serious lifesaver on a trip to India when he was 19-22 months old and he got a lot of attention! "A monkey with a monkey" ppl said. 

 

In other cultures, it's perfectly acceptable to 'leash' a child. In a very populated place like India, it isn't uncommon to see mothers trying fabric on their wrist and their child's wrist so they don't get separated from their little one. 

 

My youngest son is 2.5 now and he has always been very easy.. holding hands when we walked, if he did wander off, just calling him back was enough. In the last few weeks though, he has totally changed. He refuses to hold hands and will NOT come back if he wanders off. I have considered getting a leash for him, hoping it will make him feel a little more independent while still being safe but really don't want to deal with peoples comments. 

post #99 of 120

I worry that a leash might give the child a false sense of security. I always keep an eye on my kids, but I also teach them to keep an eye on me. Being on a leash would be teaching them that it's safe for them to bolt or just go in any direction and rely on me to pull them back or redirect them. I really don't want to do that.

I also think using a leash is lazy parenting sometimes. Either keep your eyes on your kid, or stay in places where your kid will be safe. Of course there are exceptions and special circumstances, but for a trip to the grocery store or a walk in the park? No, I wouldn't ever have considered wearing one, even when I had two under 2 and my oldest DD was a bolter. I kept an eye on her, and when we were in a dangerous place, like on the side of a road, I made her hold on to the handle of the stroller or shopping cart or hold my hand.

 

And about the degrading vs. not degrading debate: what would you say if you saw an adult with special needs on a leash? Would that be okay? Because if not, then why is it okay to put one on a toddler?

To me, it's not about the childs or the person with cognitive difficulties' perception, it's about the signals that we send to other people. How can we  expect people to respect childrens rights and treat them as individuals, if we send out a not-so-subtle signal to society at large that kids are just like dogs to be kept on a leash?

post #100 of 120
Quote:
Originally Posted by AstridS View Post

And about the degrading vs. not degrading debate: what would you say if you saw an adult with special needs on a leash? Would that be okay? Because if not, then why is it okay to put one on a toddler?
Your analogy isn't quite working for me. Ever see an adult with special needs breastfeeding? How about naked, running through a sprinkler in a front yard? There are too many ways in which the two groups are distinct. You have a strange method for evaluating what is ok for a small child.

And as for the rest of your post, it seems judgmental for the sake of being judgmental.
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