...when you are sad and really depressed and hating on yourself? Including fits of crying.
Do you think your baby knows?....
Yes. But in the most primal of ways. Unspoken emotional language passed between two individuals who are inexplicably linked.
But. I don't think it's something (one MORE thing) to be down on yourself for. I spent the first five months of my pregnancy very stressed, emotionally negative, and questioning whether I had made a massive mistake in becoming pregnant again. I often thought of the baby on the other end of this negativity. I do not feel I've scarred her- I am a real person with real feelings, and I had to work through those to be as balanced and psyched about her as I do now.
We can't be perfect, and to expect that from ourselves is to set ourselves up for a fall.
Like othermother, I regret having wished this baby was not coming a few times. My dh and I have been struggling a LOT, and a baby seems like the last thing to help. And yet it is what it is. My parents divorced before I turned one, and my mother said that I was the most healing thing that happened to her.
I don't know that this little ramble helped you At all, but I understand completely what you are wondering.
It was kind of a variation of this:
"Take "fetal love breaks." Break up your day-to-day activities to spend some time with your unborn child. Listen to music. Get yourself in a peaceful place. This changes the neurotransmitter mix in your brain and sends the fetus loving messages. And they've done studies using ultrasounds and found you can reduce the baby's heart rate, respiratory rate, and muscle tone by doing these things.
You should take fetal love breaks three times a day and it only takes 10 minutes to do them. " -http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-500172_162-511503.html
PhilsBabyMama, I totally agree with what you said. Just like parenting a born child, you're going to experience emotion and your kid might get caught up in your emotions too. But it's important I think, to make that calm connect with the baby/child and let them know they're not at fault, you love them, and want them to feel safe and happy-
It can be as simple as something like putting your hands on your belly with good emotion and loving intent, and thinking or saying:
There's just some hard things going on for Mommy right now that makes me feel a bit sad/mad/etc. I need to get through them, but I want you to know that you are loved and you are safe.
Because just like babies can sense the negative, they also respond to the positive