10 YO Stealing and Lying

[Wilderness Mama]

My nephew is 10 years old, Attachment Parented, and generally a sweet kid. However, he stole over $30 from my son (7 yo), and I am mad. When he was confronted by his mom, he threw an all out tantrum, then a day later finally admitted to it, when it looked like he wasn't going to go someplace he really wanted to go. Mom, while great in general, isn't good about follow through on consequences (natural, logical or otherwise). I think part of the reason (besides impulse control) that he stole may be because he wanted me to inforce a consequence??? He is pushing his boudnaries with someone who may push back?? I don't know. What I need help with desparately is to figure out what to do. Assuming he appologizes and gives the money back (which we aren't even sure how much that really is because of the the way he stole it over time), what else can I do? I can't ban him from the house; he is my nephew and I love him. But I don't trust him at all. What can I say or do that might help him in the future? Or might guide him to not want to steal anymore? He spends a lot of time at our house and we take him to do fun things about once a week. He lives within a block of our house and our families are very close. The worse part is that it looks like he may of stole from us for a while as he always "finds" money places when he wants something really bad.

HELP!

[amandajf]

What about a normal consequence. If you steal and the police catch you.. you pay restitution. What about he does something like that? He stole from your son approx. $30 which is worth a good room cleaning.. top to bottom.. dusting, vacuuming etc.. organizing. If your son isn't a messy bedroom person how about calculate how much your 7yo gets for allowance each week.. how long did it take to earn that $30? Have your nephew come over and do your 7 yo;s chores to earn back that money? Don't let your nephew just pay back the money.. you can't buy yourself honor and respect. He needs to earn it back.