Hello, new here.
My daughter is ten and has a neurological development disorder, cause by birthmothers substance abuse. She is cognitively delayed.
We have a battle over her hair all the time. She wants to grow it long, but she is not capable of taking care of it. It is shoulder length now and she does not brush it. When I brush it, she screams and yells. She has sensory issues, and the back of her neck is very sensitive, as well as her scalp. But she is determined to have long hair like her friends.
She had long hair once, and it didn't work out well. She only brushed it when told, and when she did, it was still full of knots. I told her we were going to get her haircut and she was going to donate her hair to make wigs. She was fine with that, and that's what we did.
Fast forward two years later and wanting to let it grow again. She likes the idea of long hair, but doesn't have the maturity to maintain it, and I don't want the screaming match every day.
She also fights with me about washing her hair. It's an ordeal.
So, I have given her one more chance, and if she doesn't maintain it, she's getting it cut.
Am I doing the right thing? or should I just let her have this one, and be independent and let her do her own thing with her hair. No brushing, no reminders, just let her do what she wants?
Thanks for your help.