I seem to just have the predisposition to feel and react negatively, but I don't want to be a cynical and insensitive mama. I feel like my responses and reactions to my husband and son are just so often either a "meh" or "grrrr". I used to be very optimistic and loving and affectionate and all that. Now I feel like I just want to be left alone and not bothered by all the stuff other people want. I am not ruling out depression, but not copping to it either. I think my son's unwillingness to be left in the care of others, and my husband's busy work schedule just leave me with no time for routine exercise or personal space/time until everyone is asleep but me.
I really want to be one of those chipper, upbeat, and open to anything type of gals who can avoid taking normal 5 year old behavior personally or feeling antagonized by it. I know it boils down to being mindful of my thoughts and emotions before reacting, as well as reframing situations. I think I'm just too tired and impatient to stop and think before the grouchy me reacts. I feel like I'm modeling impatience, immaturity, manipulation and selfishness more often than optimism, cooperation, helpfulness, grace, patience and unconditional love.
Any ideas how I can reset or detox myself? I eat a pretty healthy, mostly organic, wheat-free diet.