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For moms who have to pay cash for HB. How do you do it?

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 

I would like to ask how anyone pays for a HB cash out? My new midwife wants a $500 retainer to lock me in for oct. she said she has nobody else that is due in Oct. but we don't have the money or the $4000 to pay her. My husband is going back to college to collect his 9/11 VA bill money so we can pay her every month. But that wont start until June and the money wont start coming in till July. We are waiting for the college to accept some military paper work and then he has to do some taxes for his college.


I dont work out of the house or in the home, i also do not drive. I home school my two oldest and have a 3 year old. I am not crafty or bake. So i cant make money off any of that. Child care is another no no. I been on care.com for over a year and nobody hires me or there is no Parent/mom in my city that will drop off their child and pick them up. As i don't drive, i also don't have CPR knowledge etc.

 

I'm trying to figure out what to do. DH makes good amount of money but our bills and finances are more then he gets paid. we have a ton of stuff to pay off and no where near able to find $500. We just found out we need a new battery for the car and its over $100 or more.  My mother in law owes us $200 but i don't know when she will be able to pay the rest back. I don't know what to do, DH is pissed, stressed and all he talks about is how i should just deliver at a hospital so his insurance pays for it and $4500 is too much for a home birth. That he can deliver the baby himself ugh.

 

I ran out of ideas :( I don't know where to come up with the $500! I don't have any none sentimental jewelry to sell, i don;t have any gently used clothes either to sell. If anyone has any other ideas then what i mentioned i would like to read about it.

 

Thanks for reading my Rant.

post #2 of 31

With our fourth baby, we had to pay out of pocket because I used a CPM who wasn't able to bill our insurance (as she wasn't licensed in our state). I made a small payment every month so that she would know we were trying, then paid the balance with our tax return.

post #3 of 31

A lot of midwives require the retainer just so they don't miss out on other clients should you want to back out. It's just to feel a little more secure that you'd be sticking it out.

 

As far as affording it. I couldn't last time, so I did a UC. This time, we can barely afford it, but barely is good enough. The birth will cost us $3200 + supplies. If you really can't afford it, then I'd look into alternative options, UC, or natural hospital birth. I hate hospitals, but if I really had to, I'd make it work. Best wishes on making a decision. 

post #4 of 31
Thread Starter 

I dont want a hospital birth or a birthing center. For one there isnt any and two i had previous c-sections. I rather birth at home. I wont do a UC because if i tear im not about to leave the house and get it fixed.
 

post #5 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I dont want a hospital birth or a birthing center. For one there isnt any and two i had previous c-sections. I rather birth at home. I wont do a UC because if i tear im not about to leave the house and get it fixed.
 

 

OK, that's fine as long as you have the money. My point I was making is if you really didn't have the money, you would be forced into looking at other options. Hope things work out.

post #6 of 31
It sucks, but if your insurance won't cover a homebirth, have you considered finding a VBAC friendly OB? Without the $500, it's sort of a bind on doing the homebirth if you won't UC and the midwife requires that down payment. Maybe do prenatals with an OB who your insurance will cover and when you get the $ see if the midwife will pick you up as a client then?
post #7 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alaskanmomma View Post

It sucks, but if your insurance won't cover a homebirth, have you considered finding a VBAC friendly OB? Without the $500, it's sort of a bind on doing the homebirth if you won't UC and the midwife requires that down payment. Maybe do prenatals with an OB who your insurance will cover and when you get the $ see if the midwife will pick you up as a client then?

I found a Student Midwife last nite. We talked for almost 40 mins. She has to bring her supervising Midwife with her and the women would do a flat rate of $3000 but the student midwife said she is off all of oct when im due lol. But she will talk to her if not she has to ask the other midwife that wants to charge me $4500 and see if she will do $300 and split it. I am just waiting for a call back. Im really nervous and excited because i think this may work out better. DH said we can do $3000 but nothing more.

post #8 of 31

We got a personal loan. If we couldn't have done that, I would have gone with a fam doc about 40 minutes away who does natural births in a good hospital.

post #9 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I found a Student Midwife last nite. We talked for almost 40 mins. She has to bring her supervising Midwife with her and the women would do a flat rate of $3000 but the student midwife said she is off all of oct when im due lol. But she will talk to her if not she has to ask the other midwife that wants to charge me $4500 and see if she will do $300 and split it. I am just waiting for a call back. Im really nervous and excited because i think this may work out better. DH said we can do $3000 but nothing more.
I hope it all works out for you orngbiggrin.gif!
post #10 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aradia88 View Post

I would like to ask how anyone pays for a HB cash out? My new midwife wants a $500 retainer to lock me in for oct. she said she has nobody else that is due in Oct. but we don't have the money or the $4000 to pay her. My husband is going back to college to collect his 9/11 VA bill money so we can pay her every month. But that wont start until June and the money wont start coming in till July. We are waiting for the college to accept some military paper work and then he has to do some taxes for his college.


I dont work out of the house or in the home, i also do not drive. I home school my two oldest and have a 3 year old. I am not crafty or bake. So i cant make money off any of that. Child care is another no no. I been on care.com for over a year and nobody hires me or there is no Parent/mom in my city that will drop off their child and pick them up. As i don't drive, i also don't have CPR knowledge etc.

I'm trying to figure out what to do. DH makes good amount of money but our bills and finances are more then he gets paid. we have a ton of stuff to pay off and no where near able to find $500. We just found out we need a new battery for the car and its over $100 or more.  My mother in law owes us $200 but i don't know when she will be able to pay the rest back. I don't know what to do, DH is pissed, stressed and all he talks about is how i should just deliver at a hospital so his insurance pays for it and $4500 is too much for a home birth. That he can deliver the baby himself ugh.

I ran out of ideas greensad.gif I don't know where to come up with the $500! I don't have any none sentimental jewelry to sell, i don;t have any gently used clothes either to sell. If anyone has any other ideas then what i mentioned i would like to read about it.

Thanks for reading my Rant.

For me, the stress of coming up with all that money would far outweigh any benefit that could come from homebirth. I'd seek out an obgyn who is natural childbirth friendly that takes your husband's insurance.
post #11 of 31

I hate to hear that other people are going through/have gone through this. It's so sad that women can be forced to birth somewhere other than where they feel most comfortable due to insurance issues.

 

My insurance is covering less than half of my homebirth, so I also owe about $4000 to the midwife. It's been tough, especially because I am a single mom and have so many other bills/things to worry about, but I've been putting a little bit away each month for the birth. Luckily my midwife doesn't require a retainer or I might not have been able to afford it. 

 

The student midwife option sounds great! In case (heaven forbid) it doesn't work out... Have you mentioned to your midwife about your financial situation? It's possible that she may bend her retainer policy for you if she is aware of what's going on (waiting for the college & paperwork, etc).

 

Good luck!!!!!

post #12 of 31

We are using our income tax to pay for the birth (also in October) or we couldn't do it.  Our midwife has also offered to allow us to make payments if necesassary.  To make money on the side I am currently working at my aunt's store every other weekend while I am in Texas student teaching (couldn't find anywhere to do it in Hawaii).  When I get back to Hawaii I hope to find a few kids to tutor during the week to make some extra cash.  I also clean houses on the side.

post #13 of 31
Thread Starter 

I dont think the midwife cares. Personally she doesnt need $4500! She lives 10 minutes from me and would take her 10 mins to get here unless shes far but thats not my problem! She charges way too much for a local home birth. I am not going to a hospital period. I know people mentioned it but i had two previous c-sections, one home birth. There is no Natural friendly doc obgyn. i do not want to be in some nasty hospital on some nasty bed. I want to be home. Midwife or not. i will have a unassisted birth i dont care. The student midwife now cant see me because her Supervising midwife is on "vacation" all of October and the first week of November. the other midwife that would be with the student midwife is the same lady still wanting to charge me $4500 and still wants $500 retainer. whatever. I have contacted 20 midwifes since i found out i was pregnant and emailed them twice. The only midwife i interviewed knows my financial problems. They are not even mine. we are in debt because of DH. we have 15 credit cards not including, Car payment, car insurance, water, gas and electric, rent, food, gas for car etc etc. we cant come up with $500 at all. I know its cheaper then a Hospital birth but its still A lot for someone who isnt Rich.

The other midwifes are pregnant and wont take me because they will be on maternity leave when im due, on vacation or too expensive too far.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JaiMaMaV View Post

I hate to hear that other people are going through/have gone through this. It's so sad that women can be forced to birth somewhere other than where they feel most comfortable due to insurance issues.

 

My insurance is covering less than half of my homebirth, so I also owe about $4000 to the midwife. It's been tough, especially because I am a single mom and have so many other bills/things to worry about, but I've been putting a little bit away each month for the birth. Luckily my midwife doesn't require a retainer or I might not have been able to afford it. 

 

The student midwife option sounds great! In case (heaven forbid) it doesn't work out... Have you mentioned to your midwife about your financial situation? It's possible that she may bend her retainer policy for you if she is aware of what's going on (waiting for the college & paperwork, etc).

 

Good luck!!!!!

post #14 of 31
Oh mama, I feel your pain! I was really hoping that the student midwife option would come through for you, I'm so sorry that fell through.

I'm sort of in a similar boat, I want a home birth so very badly and actually found a midwifery practice that would do it for $3,000 with $600 retainer. We actually have the money, but it's part of our emergency fund and I don't really feel comfortable using it for a non-emergency. Over the past few weeks we have had a few small emergencies that have dipped into our savings, so we don't even have the 3k readily accessable. Plus, we have worked really really hard to get out of debt and build our emergency fund over the past 2-3 years, so I kind of feel like this is something I ought to have planned for, financially.

Luckily I have the option to have a natural waterbirth in a hospital setting with CNMs, but I.still just DO NOT want to labor in a nasty hospital room, and have to go recover in a nasty, shared recovery room! Plus, the hospital is a good 20-30 minute drive from us, but could take as long as 2 hours if I happen to go into labor during rush hour.

I've fantasized about doing it at home unassisted--especially since the birthing tub has arrived and I can envision it in our space, and how wonderful and stress-free it would be to labor here at home. But I'm not sure I feel comfortable going completely unassisted. If anything went wrong i dont think i could ever forgive myself.

Anyhow, sorry for rambling in your thread. But you are not alone in having your birth options limited due to finances. It really sucks and I wish that no mama ever had to be in this position. Have you looked into petitioning your dh's insurance to cover the home birth midwife? Though, they usually reimburse after the fact, so maybe that's of no use to you still. Good luck mama, keep us posted on what you finally decide/figure out.
post #15 of 31

If you don't manage to find a midwife I think unassisted is a good option. I would consider if you want to do a bit of prenatal care. Maybe an ultrasound and a couple appointments with an OB or hospital midwife if you have those. I did that with my unassisted birth. Then I dropped them when I found out all was well and felt they wouldn't be an option to birth with. It's just good to have the reassurance that everything is going well. The Unassisted birth section on mothering was extremely helpful to me. It helps you feel more prepared. They have threads about good books to buy or check out from the library, supplies lists, good websites, etc. 

post #16 of 31

Birth is how midwives make a living. They have bills, gas and wear and tear of car, clothes can get ruined, the fee covers tests they do (My midwife drew my blood and sent it off, the labwork was part of the fee), all the supplies she brings, all the post-partum care. Plus they usually will give more visits than what is contracted if you need them. Most people don't work for just their costs of working, they make some extra, same with midwives.

 

Have you looked into using a birth center?

 

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.

post #17 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.

I agree with this. Good advice. I had a supportive family doctor check my baby 2 days after she was born. If it wasn't for him, I would have had a lot of trouble getting the paperwork taken care of for the birth certificate and stuff. Part of the reason I will be using a midwife this time is because then I won't have to deal with going to see a doc or the paperwork and don't want to get in any trouble. But, if you can find a supportive doc to check baby if need be, that would be perfect.

post #18 of 31

Can you barter with her? Grow some extra veggies for her family or make something for her if you are handy or you dh is?? 

post #19 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 View Post

If you don't manage to find a midwife I think unassisted is a good option. I would consider if you want to do a bit of prenatal care. Maybe an ultrasound and a couple appointments with an OB or hospital midwife if you have those. I did that with my unassisted birth. Then I dropped them when I found out all was well and felt they wouldn't be an option to birth with. It's just good to have the reassurance that everything is going well. The Unassisted birth section on mothering was extremely helpful to me. It helps you feel more prepared. They have threads about good books to buy or check out from the library, supplies lists, good websites, etc. 


I was but now i cant. I came to the conclusion why my placenta was not coming out on its own within 30 mins. I was not contracting and i could very well have scar tissue from my first two previous c-sections. So i rather have a Midwife and assistants with me. last nite and today i was told NO by 3 people and the 4th wanted me to pay her $3500 LOL plus she wants me to waste my time and gas to go to Bakersfield to see a "OB" On the side and PAY CASH of $400 haha... im sorry but thats just stupid. i may have scar tissue but she gave me a quote of $3,000 even the last time we spoke a few months back in jan. I am not driving over a hour to see some OB and pay this man cash. I have no idea what to do if a baby cant breath, he/she cant come out because he or she is stuck, if i tear, if i bleed more or if my placenta is not coming out again... I just have to chuck out $4500 to the only midwife avail if she still will be once i get her Retainer. which is absolutely dumb. she lives 10 mins from me. I shouldnt have to pay her gas to see other clients. if i want a midwife she should be helping me and i should be paying her for her services helping me. Not to other women. she is money hungry and greedy.

post #20 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by purplerose View Post

Birth is how midwives make a living. They have bills, gas and wear and tear of car, clothes can get ruined, the fee covers tests they do (My midwife drew my blood and sent it off, the labwork was part of the fee), all the supplies she brings, all the post-partum care. Plus they usually will give more visits than what is contracted if you need them. Most people don't work for just their costs of working, they make some extra, same with midwives.

 

Have you looked into using a birth center?

 

At any rate, make sure you have a homebirth friendly ped for if you need baby checked for some reason after the birth. I had a horrible experience after my UC when I didn't choose the ped wisely and she reported us to CPS. For the next birth I did want and pay for a midwife but I had a very homebirth/novax supportive doctor as backup and as my daughter's doctor before she was born.


I can not do birth centers. for one i dont want too and secondly, i had two c-sections. I wont be getting blood tests. i got them done for free with a temporary medical card in March. Im going to just pay the money for the only midwife available to see me and wont be on vacation. there is no other way

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