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For moms who have to pay cash for HB. How do you do it? - Page 2

post #21 of 29
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meksmama View Post

Can you barter with her? Grow some extra veggies for her family or make something for her if you are handy or you dh is?? 


Grow? LOL i dont Garden.. i live in a apartment complex. I dont bake or sew. No she wont barter. i asked her everything she could lower or anything else. she wants her $500 now or its nothing. shes money hungry sorry. its just the truth. she is nice to me but seriously, she just wants money. she can lower her fees to $3000 or less. she lives 10 mins from me and again i shouldnt have to pay her $4500 for her gas to see other clients. And i really dont care if people dont agree with me. this is how i feel and how my husband feels. My husband is right for once. Where we live it isnt a rich community. Everyone is poor or middle class. People dont have that type of money. its just now realistic. the farther you live and more rural area the prices should be lower and lower.

post #22 of 29
I felt bad for you at first, but now you sound like one of those girls on "My Super Sweet 16" who got a Lexus instead of a Mercedes.. The midwives fee is pretty darn reasonable, and not money hungry. She has to make a living just like everyone else, that $4500 isn't really a lot for NINE months of care, around the clock care starting at 37 weeks. Her fee isn't covering anyone but you, and regardless if she's 10 minutes, 3 hours, or across the hall from you, she deserves and earns her minimum wage for all the prenatal care, being there for who knows how long during L&D, and post partum visits.
post #23 of 29

I agree with your DH. This is huge amount of money and I do not think you should use his VA bill for it. If he is going to college an you are not working, you need every cent.

 

By the way, CPR card is not that expensive to get and yes, parent want CPR certified babysitters now.

post #24 of 29

Yeah, the fee is actually the norm for home births. I've seen anywhere from 2800-4500. Heard of as much as 5000 or 6000 in spendier areas. It depends on the area and the amount of clients and all kinds of things(maybe experience level?), but its not an unusual amount. When I was in Montana, she wanted 4000 and I didn't have it. That is part of the reason I chose UC that time. Gotta do what you gotta do.

post #25 of 29

I understand how you feel like a home birth is your only option and its being denied to you. I was devastated when I thought I'd have to have a hospital birth with my first. Back to your original question of "mom's who have to pay cash, how do you do it?" We save and do whatever it takes to come up with the money. With DS1 and DS2 we were able to save and put aside most of the money before hand, $4500 each plus with DS1 I had the first 30 weeks of care with an OB and nurse midwives while on a high deductible insurance plan so I had to pay another additional 2k out of pocket. For this one, due to our current financial situation it has been much harder to come up with the money. But we are doing what it takes. I am cutting back where ever I can, and my husband is working lots of weekends and side jobs.

 

As passionate as I am about a home birth, if we truly couldn't afford to even come up with $500, I would have a hospital birth. I have EXTREME hospital anxiety, and truly believe that for low risk pregnancies home is the safest place to give birth, but if my family needed the money that badly there is no way I could deprive them in order to have a home birth. Do you qualify for medicaid? If so you could have all your prenatal care for free, and basically go to the hospital when you're ready to push. Then sign an AMA form and leave early. Or I would advocate for an unassisted birth but it sounds like you might not be a good candidate for that. If money is really that tight, not shelling out the $500 much less the $4500 you're struggling to come up with would mean your DH could maybe spend some more time home with the family after the birth, or you could pay off some of the debts that are weighing you down now. If your finances are that bad, $4500 still in your pockets would probably make a huge difference to your quality of life.

 

I'm so sorry you're in this situation, and I honestly do mean all of this gently.

 

I don't think its fair to say that the midwife doesn't "need" the money. Even if she's extremely wealthy (which most midwives are not), and you have an extremely easy pregnancy and delivery she could potentially end up spending hours or even days with you. She has her own bills and expenses, and has paid for training and assistants and insurance and equipment and taxes and who knows what else. She's taking on the liability of attending you when others are refusing. I know it feels personal to you, but in reality its her BUSINESS and she should be able to make her own decisions. Even if she can afford to lower her rate to $3000, or even $1000 it might not be worth it to her to have to give up the time with her family or for some other reason. Again, and I don't mean this harshly, it's not her problem if you can't afford her fee.

 

If it really is that important to you and you feel like a homebirth is the only option, you have from now until October to come up with the money. Have garage sales, get a part time job working nights, have your husband get a second job, figure out a way to cut your expenses more. Or find a way to somehow come to peace with it not working out.

post #26 of 29
Isn't the idea to have a baby...not a birth experience? You want something, but you can't afford it. That's life. I want to send my child to the super awesome private school but we can't afford it so he will go to public school even though it isn't the best possible situation.

Forget about propoganda like The Business of Being Born. There are thousands of good and caring obgyns in this country and millions of women have perfectly fine hospital births. Pay $200 for a doula who can help you labor at je for a while and be your advocate in the hospital. Let your husband use his GI bill for its intended purpose.
post #27 of 29

Op, have you considered consolidating some of your CC payments? 

 

To me, your MW needs to determine her fee - it is not really for clients to say what she needs in terms of making a profit (which I doubt is all that much).  I have heard of A LOT of MWs doing some sort of sliding scale. If you're in the central valley, I imagine there are quite a few other MWs to talk to.  

 

As for me, UC is not an option and though I do support UC for a mother/family prepared to take on those types of responsibility, I wonder if financial reasons for choosing a UC are in one's best interest.  

 

Another thought, would you consider going further for a hospital that you consider mother/child friendly? 

post #28 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama View Post

As for me, UC is not an option and though I do support UC for a mother/family prepared to take on those types of responsibility, I wonder if financial reasons for choosing a UC are in one's best interest.  

 

 

If you are desperate for a homebirth and can't afford it, then that's kinda the only option though. OP suggested she HATES hospitals. That's the only reason I suggested looking into it. I do agree she and her DP would need to be comfortable with the decision. I did it partially for financial reasons and it was the right call at the time. 

post #29 of 29
Quote:
Originally Posted by dayiscoming2006 View Post

 

If you are desperate for a homebirth and can't afford it, then that's kinda the only option though. OP suggested she HATES hospitals. That's the only reason I suggested looking into it. I do agree she and her DP would need to be comfortable with the decision. I did it partially for financial reasons and it was the right call at the time. 

Yes, I do agree that if you are inclined that way, it makes sense to include financial concerns into consideration. The OP does not sound all that comfortable or ready to take on the responsibility of UC and I think we can all agree that a VBA2C mama not that interested in UC isn't a good candidate - probably no matter the level of anxiety over hospital birth.  

 

 

OP, I went back and read through this thread.  I do urge you to ask some more questions of the only MW available.  I would ask about the fee and what it covers so that you can get to a better place with the payment plan and price. That along with all the regular questions about experience, fit and etc. I also urge you to discuss transfer charges and etc. When I had a HB in CA we were responsible for both the MW fee and whatever hospital co-pays in the event of transfer. You may also want to ask about testing and whether your MW can foresee any testing she would require for you to remain in her care - specifically something you may have to pay out of pocket for. There will be a birth kit fee and some other requirements down the road. 

 

Have you looked into petitioning your insurance to pay for this?  When I had a HB in CA I remember insurance being very flexible. You may not get the whole fee but you may get a chunk. It's worth a call or discussion with the MW. I also second the idea of seeing if you qualify for the CA equivalent of medical assistance. There may be a program that you can pay into (for a small fee) that would get you coverage. If the MWs in your area are all charging this fee then either folks can afford it or there are insurance programs/assistance programs helping to pay.  Would you like some help looking into these things? 

 

Also, I'm not sure if you have already had a VBAC but there may be some wonderful resources for you. Especially in Bakersfield, there may be an ICAN office or rep who can recommend some service providers.  Have you had a VBAC already?  Was that in a hospital?  

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