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How to talk my six-year-old DD off the ledge about violin concert

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Okay, here's the background: All first graders at DD's public school take violin during the school day. We didn't rent one because she plays piano, which she really enjoys. She told me at the beginning of the year that she didn't really like violin and we shouldn't rent one. Fine. They are doing a little showcase next week at school where all the first graders will play together in small groups of ten or so. I think just one or two songs (like Twinkle Twinkle kind of thing). Parents are invited. DD is an introvert.

 

She is FREAKING out. She says they don't really know the songs and it's going to sound terrible. I've tried telling her that the parents will enjoy it no matter what, that she's playing in a group so it doesn't matter, that she can skip school and/or the performance if she really doesn't want to do it. Nothing seems to help. Poor kid. The performance is in a week and I'm afraid she's going to have a nervous breakdown by then. (As a side note, she happily participated in her school's variety show in an act with her friends. I think this is somewhat specific to it being about music, which she knows about, and playing an instrument that she doesn't feel competent at.) Any advice?

thanks,

-e

post #2 of 6
Just skip the show.

Edited to add.. my kids both have some finely attuned sense of pitch.. they claim that bad music "hurts" their ears.
post #3 of 6
Thread Starter 

Philo, I wish it were that easy! She got *pissed* at me when I told her we should just skip it. Sigh. I just don't know how to help her. I think if she brings it up again, instead of making lots of suggestions, I'm just going to try and really hear her.
 

post #4 of 6
Maybe jealousy? Could she now be regretting not renting a violin and not being part of the show?
post #5 of 6
A big part of performance like this is just for the sake of practicing doing a performance (and not necessarily being 'good' at material). Could your dd be focused on 'a performance means you are good at what you're doing' and be feeling embarrassed about that not being the case for a beginner violin concert?

Getting practice performing can be inspiring for beginning musicians, and simply good practice in general for performing anything in the future. One can do well at that, regardless of being extremely skilled at what is being performed.
post #6 of 6
When my dd is anxious about something, I ask her to tell me what she is imagining will happen, and how likely it is to happen. What's the worst thing that could happen? When she really thinks about it, it usually helps her calm down.
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